How do I get along with my son's girlfriend's alcoholic mother?

Jasmina - posted on 12/20/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My son has a wonderful girlfriend! She is very respectful and sweet~does not get along with her mom. She is an alcoholic and is very rude and insulting! They have been dating for over 2 years and are both in college 100 miles away. The mother has insulted my husband and my son on 2 occasions and I have been the peace keeper. I am exhausted and can not see us being related to this woman if they get married. I just don't know what to say or do at this point. I have not confronted her or her husband due to the fact that I don't want any more drama. Please comment with any suggestions or stories that may help. Thank you

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Leela - posted on 12/22/2013

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Ok, so here's my thoughts. You should say something to your son about what's happening. She is harassing you and while its hard on you right now,it can be even worse for your son if he doesn't know what he's getting himself into. Can you imagine if she had to babysit your grandkids??

I'm glad that you don't penalize her daughter for her behavior - make sure he knows that. Make it clear though what is happening and this will be the reason why you may not want to be around the mother in future. Next step - block your no and let your son know that she is not to receive it. Good luck!

Amy - posted on 12/20/2013

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Personally I would do nothing. She's an alcoholic I nothing you say or do is going to change who she is. Limit your interactions with her, ignore her negativity. And stop trying to play peace keeper, I'm sure her daughter appreciates it but has probably learned after many years of her mothers antics its best to let her suffer the consequences of her actions.

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Jasmina - posted on 12/22/2013

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Mainly calling to say that my husband and I are not good parents. Her daughter is better off with a wealthy boyfriend. We are both disabled and on a fixed income. The mother is on welfare and drinks day and night. My son does not know what she said. I didn't want to hurt him and I do stay out of the relationship.

Jasmina - posted on 12/20/2013

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This woman is smooth! She calls from work, home and other peoples cell phones. It is so juvenile and persistent that I seriously think she has some mental issues as well. We just let it go to voice mail and delete the messages! Oh my gosh! Seriously, I don't understand it. I just wish she would get a life :( My husband is disabled and his health is quickly declining due to all the stress. I am considering changing our number so my husband can get get some peace and quite. Thank you for your kind and sensible suggestion :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/20/2013

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Check with your phone provider to see if you can block her. Unless, that is, gf calls from the same number...what a mess!

I know its frustrating for you!

Jasmina - posted on 12/20/2013

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Shawnn and Amy, thank you for your wise advice. I consider myself a sensitive person and I try to make peace with everyone. I will not answer the phone when her name comes up on caller id. She just keeps calling my home non stop! My husband has hung up on her on several occasions but she keeps on calling! I am so tired of this woman. I feel like screaming and pulling my hair out. Great advice ladies :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/20/2013

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She's not immediate family, and other than perhaps a wedding, or the birth of a child, the likelihood of you actually spending time with her is minimal.

Limit whatever exposure to her you do have, and let the kids be happy.

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