How do I get Dad more involved??

Kia - posted on 10/24/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend is a very good father but for some reason when it comes to doing family fun things, he dosent know how to get involved. He says he wants to be more fun and involved but I dont know how to help him, any ideas?

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JuLeah - posted on 10/24/2011

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Humm, well it matters somewhat how old the kids are. He can read to them, do puzzles with them, color with them, kick a soccer ball around with them, climb trees, cook dinner, wash clothes, fix the car .... he just needs to take a deep breath and jump in.

Maybe a buddy of his with kids can go out with him and your kids?

Are there men in his life that can show him the ropes?

JuLeah - posted on 10/24/2011

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Maybe have him plan the day and follow his lead.

Ask what he likes to do and see if there is a way the whole family can play along

If you have been with this fellow for a time (yr +) and feel he is there to stay, let him develop his own relationship with the kids seperate from you - so you leave for an hr or so ....

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JuLeah - posted on 10/25/2011

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Well, the bottom line is that if he wants to be a father, he needs to figure this out. It is not yours to figure out, but his. Not your job to find a man to mentor him or teach him. It is his job to find that if he thinks it will help.

If his words are "I want to be a father" but his actions tell you something different; pay attention

When words and actions don't match always listen to the actions

Amy - posted on 10/24/2011

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fishing :) it takes patience though...my husband & son love playing at the park or going to the museum or chuckee cheese or swimming or just throwing a ball around in the yard :) most kids are easier to entertain than adults! Good luck

Kia - posted on 10/24/2011

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very good ideas, thank you so much... I will try. I think hes just nervous and sometimes it feels a little corney to him because his only examples from childhood is what he saw on T.V... Ill try to find another male with kids but normally they end up playing x box while the kids play lol

Kia - posted on 10/24/2011

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I agree with you but when I ask him to take the lead he says he dosent know what to do.

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