How do I get my 2 month baby girl on a schedule?

Susan - posted on 12/02/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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She dictates my every move and sleeps and eats whenever she likes. Everytime I put her down she wakes up and I can only get a few minutes before she starts crying and I have to pick her up. I have a baby carrier but we both get really hot and its hard on my back. Any suggestions?

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Amie - posted on 09/05/2011

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I am having the same problem. How do I get her on a schedule that doesn't involve letting her cry it out by herself.

Paula - posted on 12/04/2009

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My twins have been on a schedule from the beginning, and were on a pretty solid one, for sure, at 2 months! If you always pick her up when she cries, she will keep crying. It's really hard, but you have to let her cry. Let it go for about 5-10 minutes, go in and reassure her (touch her but don't pick her up), then leave again. Repeat. If she's still crying after 30 minutes, then pick her up, but you have to be strong and not give in after 10 minutes. If it helps (it did for me), lay her down and then go take a quick shower. She is safe in her bed, and you get clean. You may even find that she's asleep by the time you get back to her. (It happened with mine on many occassions.) The part that's hard is that this will take more than one or two naps; it's more like one or two days every time she goes to sleep. Once it's done, though, it's great.

Other moms are right that activity helps. Sing, clap, dance, play--the stimulation is good and is good for getting her ready for a nap. It is the bonding you both need. Also, if you build a predictable schedule for naps, she will know what to expect which will help her and you. It also will help translate into routines for bedtime when she's older.

Good luck.

Linette - posted on 12/03/2009

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It is not too early to put a 2 month old on a schedule. I went back to work at 2 months with both of my kids. I remember that at around 6 weeks I usually had learned to pick up on their cues and could get them on a schedule. If you are picking your daughter up everytime she cries you are conditioning her to expect that same response everytime. If you can learn your child's cues, ie., how they act when tired, hungry, etc., then it is easy to know when to put them down or feed them. When some kids get tired they cry a certain way and have trouble getting settled down. I never rocked my kids until they were completely asleep. When I knew they were getting tired I would rock them for a while to get them settled down then put them in their bed and leave the room. This allows them to learn how to put themselves to sleep and also teaches them how to go back to sleep when they may wake up for a few minutes in the night. The child may cry a bit the first few times but crying won't hurt them. If the baby cries more than 5 minutes, go into the room, pat the baby a little to get them settled down and let them know you are still there, then leave the room again. This may seem cruel to some people but it works and I very rarely felt like I was chained to my child. In my previous job I taught parenting education for 14 years. I was so glad I had this training as it made things so much easier. Not that there were never problems. My second daughter was extremely collicy and didn't sleep all night until she was a year old. But we didn't have trouble with her schedule during the day, it was very routine. At night, she was just so miserable from her gas that she couldn't get settle down. In those cases, when you know they are in pain or something is wrong, then that changes things. But if your baby is just crying because she wants to be held all the time, I think it is time to let her cry it out a bit. The best advice I can give, even when your child is a toddler, is stick to a routine of bed and nap times. Do not let anything interfere unless it is absolutely necessary. This will make your life so much easier. 90% of the behavior problems among kids that were referred to my office were generally a result of poor sleeping and eating habits. Kids need naps at a certain time everyday and they need structure. Oh and I agree that the swings are a lifesaver....
Linette

Lisa - posted on 12/03/2009

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Picking up a baby every time he or she crys lets them know that your going to do it every time they cry. It was hard for me the first child I actually cried when he cryed the first night in his new bed. Once my children gotten to couple of months old . I made a bottle for them. I would put alittle bit of baby cereal in their bottle. Not enough to make it thick. Soupy so that it would go through the bottle. That helped keep them sleepy during the night. A warm bath before bed helped them too. I hope you the best of luck. I know its hard but try not to pick the baby up all the time. It will make things harder to get done. You can't clean or anything with a baby in your arms. They also have those baby swings that swing by themself that might help also. You can also pick the speed they are great. My child loved it

Lisa

Megan - posted on 12/03/2009

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my first point is listen to your heart. if you feel your baby needs you, respond to that feeling and don't worry about other people telling you you're spoiling her. it can be incredibly draining, and it's easy to feel like your life has been taken away by this new little bundle of joy, but it does not last forever, and the benefits far outweigh the frustrations of those first several months.

second, i agree with the poster above who talked about the ERGO. i have one and it saved my life. if your carrier hurts your back, it's time for a new carrier. my daughter was like yours and would wake up immediately after i laid her down. it was unnerving. the only way i survived was by using my baby carriers, my ERGO and my MOBY wrap. the moby is very affordable and a little tricky to figure out, but once you get it, it is so easy. i used the moby until she was about 3 months old, then switched to the ergo as she could support her own head. both are designed to distribute weight across your back and hips, and they can be worn for hours (when worn properly) without pain...and i have a really bad back. the ergo is more expensive, but worth every penny in my opinion. my daughter is 18 months old now, and we still use it frequently, but used it every day for her first 15 months. it's still sometimes the only way i can do housework when no one else is here with me.

good luck!

Tarryne - posted on 12/02/2009

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i know it hard. but, you have to let her cry at some point. my baby was breat fed, she was attached as well. she use to dictate my every move too. but, as time went along. he just had to cry. she will be just fine. beides it good for there lungs. another way that can help is by patting the bottom. once your realize he i drifting off lighten up, and then eventually stop.

Katherine - posted on 12/02/2009

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Quoting Kelli:

I tried several books, but the E.A.S.Y. method (Eat, Activity, Sleep, Yourself) method was good coupled with the 90-minute sleep solution. Each child has a 90-min internal rhythm. As the baby gets older the 90-min cycles will increase, so 90-mins in between sleeping, then 180-mins, etc. The goal is to feed the baby as soon as she wakes up, then have a little activity (baby massage, toys, singing, stroller ride, etc.), then w/in 90-mins, she'll be getting sleepy, and you should be able to put her down WITHOUT re-feeding her to get to sleep.

I tried the 90-min cycle on my 10-month old son, and it worked. The first morning I tried the plan, I wrote down the time he woke up. Literally 80-mins later, he was sleepy and I put him down. I felt a freedom I hadn't known to that point, especially since he used to nurse every 30 mins to 1 hour!

I suggested it to friends that were having a horrible time with their daughter sleeping all day and staying awake all night, and they said on the first day, it worked!

Hope this helps!


Yes!!!  The Baby Whisperer, fantastic, but not for a 2mo IMO

Katherine - posted on 12/02/2009

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Honey, that's how it is. Babies are very, very demanding. My 8mo still doesn't have a schedule, a routine somewhat but....a 2mo? Next to impossible.

Dawn - posted on 12/02/2009

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At two months old they are still learning the trust and boundaries. It will not hurt her to cry a little. Don't pick her up every little wimm or you will be controlled by her. She will test the boundaries you set at every stage and age. If she is fed, has a clean diaper, warm, not sick or hurt she will learn that she can lay down and be satisfied. It may take a few days up to a week. Just be patient and she will learn.

Erin - posted on 12/02/2009

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my son has been on a schedule since birth, he has always ate the same time everyday and naps/bedtime at the same time also. you just need to be consistant, it may take a few days/weeks but when it happens it is very nice. good luck!!

Sharyn - posted on 12/02/2009

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i'm sorry but she's only 2 months old? and you would like her on a schedule? babies that small want to be held and nurtured, i didnt put my little girl on one until she was like 5 months .....
i set a time for her to go to bed 8pm it was then now its 8.30 ... and she'd go with a bottle to her bed and that was it, until 3am for her next feed and then she started sleeping all night long at 8 months ....

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Getting a 2 month old on a schedule I think is unrealistic. At this age they still want to be held a lot and it is something they need. They are looking for security and just simply want to be next to you. If you think about it they were with you for 9 months and I believe they need a little time to adjust to he outside word. I find when they hit 3 months little ones change. They don't need to be held as much because they are interested in looking at their toys. Have you thought of getting a different carrier? I went through a few and the one I am using now is the Ergo. I love it! My daughter is 16 months weighs 22 pounds and this one does not hurt my back or shoulders. All the weight goes to the hips. At your daughter age I used the Bjorn carrier with back support.

Cathralynn - posted on 12/02/2009

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I don't think you can schedule a lil one, but routines to let them know what to expect are different. I fed on demand and my girl slep when she wanted. She typically ate very 2-3hrs and for whatever reason never switched her nights and daytime. So when she ate at like 7-7:30 I moved her to where she would sleep for the night and went from there. We swaddled at night but not during the day and used white noise whenever we wanted her to sleep (at night mostly and naps after 6mo). I didn't do any sleep training for a napping schedule until 6mo, then it was two naps a day not within 4hrs of bedtime. At night keep it dark and quiet even during feedings and changings, during the day anything goes. Up until 6mo I wore my girl or she napped in a swing if she was having troubles. I am big chested so a back carrier also hurt my back. I used a sideways sling which was more comfy for me and she seemed to sleep the instance I put her in it. Also if you bottle feed you can leave the baby in it. I would just work on paying attention to her patterns, setting up routines for the future, and getting your baby to sleep without breastfeeding or a bottle. Schedules can come later.

Keena - posted on 12/02/2009

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My little boy put himself on the EASY method at about 4 months old.I didn't even know that was a method, but evidently it is. He too wanted to be held while sleeping and that didn't really go away until he was about 6 months old or so. At about 9 or 10 months we started making him cry it out (for about 10 -20 mins) Of course at 2 months old you can't really do that, but it's something to remember as they get older. There were many days that we would go for a car ride, he would fall asleep and I would park the car leave all the doors open and the door to the house open and let him finish his nap out in the car. (I have a garage and the weather was warm but not hot) White noise also really helped to get him to stay asleep when I put him down. and he liked it LOUD!!

Sashell - posted on 12/02/2009

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Without realizing it I was using the EASY method lol. My daughter is not really on a schedule b/c of my work schedule (I don't work at the same time everyday) but she wakes up, eats, plays and then sleeps. Then starts all over again. I would try Kelli's method.

Kelli - posted on 12/02/2009

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Oh, forgot to address the needing to be held to sleep thing. My daughter was the same way when she was little, but I think the 90-min sleep cycle thing would have worked on her too.



Have you tried swadling her? I had a friend that put her son in his car seat to sleep at night, and he slept 8 hours, but that doesn't address naps during the day.



Successful naps help with better sleep at night and better eating patterns I think. But, there are some babies, like my daughter, that just don't sleep or eat well. It took my daughter until 13-months old to sleep through the night and she only catnapped during the day...15-min to 45-min intervals. Horrible! So, that's where I think the 90-min cycle could help, if not 100%, even a little bit may be helpful for you.

Kelli - posted on 12/02/2009

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I tried several books, but the E.A.S.Y. method (Eat, Activity, Sleep, Yourself) method was good coupled with the 90-minute sleep solution. Each child has a 90-min internal rhythm. As the baby gets older the 90-min cycles will increase, so 90-mins in between sleeping, then 180-mins, etc. The goal is to feed the baby as soon as she wakes up, then have a little activity (baby massage, toys, singing, stroller ride, etc.), then w/in 90-mins, she'll be getting sleepy, and you should be able to put her down WITHOUT re-feeding her to get to sleep.



I tried the 90-min cycle on my 10-month old son, and it worked. The first morning I tried the plan, I wrote down the time he woke up. Literally 80-mins later, he was sleepy and I put him down. I felt a freedom I hadn't known to that point, especially since he used to nurse every 30 mins to 1 hour!



I suggested it to friends that were having a horrible time with their daughter sleeping all day and staying awake all night, and they said on the first day, it worked!



Hope this helps!

Katie - posted on 12/02/2009

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I never 'scheduled' my kids...They scheduled themselves and now that they are older, they tell me when they are tired and they go to bed(we have never fought about bedtime in our house). I have found that letting them cry helps them to find their schedule, though, I think that 2 months is a little young. I know that it's hard but if you pick them up every time they cry they already know that you are a push-over and it will continue to get harder as they get older. I think my kids 'found their schedule' when they were 3 or 4 months old, until then I was just exhausted all the time.

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