How do I get my 20 year old carefree son to get a job, GROW UP

Maureen - posted on 11/09/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hi all my son refuses to get himself work all he simply do whole day is play soccer, walk about the streets and lie n sit around all day. I have yelled, talked like an adult, nagged about everything I did try the response stays the same "yes mom".
A little background he is an only child me and his father is separated not divorced yet. He decided to live with his father. His father spoils him tells him he doesn't need to work as he will work for him till he the day he can't anymore. I have made him resumes to take to places it's still to this day under his bed gathering dust. I've given the hard facts of not working like our parents did in our time. He mentioned coming to live by me, but I know that won't happen because imagine giving up a place where carefree to rules, rules, rules. I dread to think where this carefree road will end up. He will be a father and husband someday, but I do not know anymore I love him to bits, but he needs to woke up and smell adulthood.
So please smother me with advice.
Thanks

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Michelle - posted on 11/10/2016

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I wouldn't buy the slippers for Christmas but get him something else. Of course you still get gifts for birthdays and Christmas.

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Maureen - posted on 11/09/2016

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Thanks for the advice. He asked me to buy him slippers that cost a R350 I'm not by the means to get it for him at all, but I think he so clever that he told me he doesn't want it now, but for xmas. should I get it as its xmas, does buying for him stuff include or exclude his birthday and xmas.

Michelle - posted on 11/09/2016

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There's not much you can do, especially if he's getting a free ride with his Dad.
He's an adult and can make his own choices in life. You keep letting him know that you won't support him and that if he does live with you then he will have to get a job and pay his way. Yes, it means that he will stay at his Dad's but you can't control what happens there.

Dove - posted on 11/09/2016

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If he lives w/ his father and his father is supporting him... there isn't a lot you can do if he isn't self motivated and his father doesn't care.

You can be sure that he knows he will not be living w/ you and you will not be giving him money for ANYTHING... ever, but there isn't really a whole lot else you have control over here.

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