How do I get my 6yr. Daughter to stop getting mad so fast?

Lisa - posted on 03/20/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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i am 29 years old, just finishing up a ten year marriage. I have three kids 12 son, 6 daughter and 3 daughter. For about a year now my 6 has been getting upset a lot easier. Then when she is upset she will raise her voice and walk off. I call her back when she doesn't listen, I go to her and ask her to talk to me. She does says, "How can I talk to you if I'm mad at you?" If I'm the problem then you want me to know what it is that way I can work on it, right? We talk but then after a few days it's back to her getting mad walking off. Now the three year old is picking up those ways.... 😕 What do I do?

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Jodi - posted on 03/20/2015

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Actually, that is demonstrating self control if she can get angry and then walk away. She is saying to you she needs to go and calm down. You need to stop following her and asking her to talk because this is likely to escalate the situation. Wait until she has had the opportunity to calm down and THEN talk to her about it. But don't talk to her about how wrong it is for her to be upset or angry. Her feelings are valid and you can't tell her she is wrong to get angry. Instead, you can talk about what made her angry and why, and maybe how we can resolve this. But never, ever try to resolve an issue while she is still mad at you because that will never go well.

Trisha - posted on 03/20/2015

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Getting mad and walking away is not necessarily a bad thing. It is MUCH better than yelling and screaming etc. I would suggest that she come back to you after she is calmed down a bit so you can talk to her to determine why she is mad, and have a chance to explain why you did what you did.

I would not discourage it though. Encourage her to tell you "I am upset right now, so I am going to go calm down" so you know what is going on, and so it doesn't feel like she is disrespecting you.

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