How do I get my boyfriend to understand that my 10 years olds new found attitude is typical and nothing personal?

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Jodi - posted on 09/21/2013

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I love it when people post here, don't like the answers they get and delete their posts. There is nothing like burying your head in the sand to make yourself feel better.....

Jodi - posted on 09/21/2013

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Okay, I saw a couple of red flags in your post.

Firstly, she always wanted a dad and now that is happening. Actually, no it isn't. He is not her dad. It doesn't matter what role YOU put him in, he is not her father. Does she know her father at all?

Secondly, your boyfriend shouldn't be parenting. He is not the parent. YOU need to be the parent. Sure, he is an adult in the household, but he is not her parent. These things take time. You can't just assume you can move him in, call him her new daddy, let him be the parent and it will all be ok. These are big changes to your daughter. This ISN'T what she meant when she said she wanted a daddy. You both need to realise that you have moved in together, moved houses, moved schools and having another baby.....what does he expect from this child? He needs to stop trying to also be her parent and stop trying to pretend he is her dad. Simple fact, he isn't. These are a lot of changes to ask a child to deal with in such a short period of time. You both have to recognise it is extremely unfair to expect her to just suck it up.

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Dove - posted on 09/21/2013

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I agree with Jodi. That is a LOT of change for a child who is internally going through a lot of changes anyway. The hormonally driven behaviors at this age in a stable environment can drive a parent insane.... Add in the new 'daddy', the new home, the new school, and an upcoming baby to 'take her place'.... Not a good mix.

She probably needs time... and space... and patience. HE should not be parenting her... especially not at this stage... but just gradually trying to develop a relationship w/ her at her pace.

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