How do I get my childs attitude and manners under control? She is 5 years old and still whines. help

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Tara - posted on 08/23/2010

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Here's a different approach that you can try, a little unconventional but worth a stab at.
Sit down with her and explain to her that her whining is annoying, explain that annoying means most people don't want to listen to *what* she is saying because of the *way* she is saying it. Then show her, start talking to her in a whiny voice, ask her to come for dinner etc. giggle and let her giggle but make sure you do it enough for her to understand what it sounds like to the people around the whiner.
Then tell her that from now on you won't respond to whining, instead when she comes to you she must use a different voice, then practice what a nicer voice sounds like and how you would respond to it.
Then let her know that if she starts whining you will cover your ears, that is her "cue" to change the way she is speaking. And if she doesn't change she will be ignored. Then ignore her. Time outs etc. won't work because she is still getting a reaction. By trying this method you are teaching her why whining doesn't work and giving her a model by which to follow to change her behaviour. When she does speak nicely be sure to notice it! Put a star on a chart, add a jelly bean to a jar etc. something for her to see that she is getting positive results for her hard work.
Good Luck!

User - posted on 08/23/2010

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My son is 4 1/2 and we work on that all the time. When he starts to whine I tell him what are our rules (which are) No whining, No crying, No hitting, No yelling. So he will repeat our rules and I say now what are you doing. He will say whining, I will tell him that we don't whine and if you continue to whine you will go to your room b/c the rest of the family don't want to hear that. So 90% of the time it works and he will stop right away.

I have try so many different things b/c whining is one thing that drives me crazy...and this seems to work for my son. I hope it can work for you too....God Bless and Good luck

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User - posted on 03/17/2011

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I am a mother of four and grandmother of nine, a former teacher, and the author of three rhyming children's books. I find it helpful to offer advice and suggestions to mothers - especially those who might have a problem with whining children. Peter and the Whimper-Whineys by Sherrill S. Cannon is a fun way to show your children how annoying whining can be, and to let them imagine the unpleasantness of having to be around the Whimper-Whineymen. Please take a look at the book on amazon if you get a chance, where there is a look-inside-the-book feature - and perhaps this book will help your children as well as it has helped mine!

User - posted on 03/17/2011

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I am a mother of four and grandmother of nine, a former teacher, and the author of three rhyming children's books. I find it helpful to offer advice and suggestions to mothers - especially those who might have a problem with whining children. Peter and the Whimper-Whineys by Sherrill S. Cannon is a fun way to show your children how annoying whining can be, and to let them imagine the unpleasantness of having to be around the Whimper-Whineymen. Please take a look at the book on amazon if you get a chance, where there is a look-inside-the-book feature - and perhaps this book will help your children as well as it has helped mine!

Vanessa - posted on 08/24/2010

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I just cut my SD (age 4) off in mid scentence - and say "nope - sorry I don't listen to sookies" and then walk away. She hates the instant ignoring and then I tell her to come back in a few minutes using a big girl voice and I will listen to her. It's that few minutes of being ignored that can really hit home!

Marcy - posted on 08/23/2010

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When my son whines I tell him he is whining and then tell him that if he needs something to ask me in a big boy voice. Then once he does I tell him that I want him to listen to what he sounds like when he whines. I block my nose and in a really annoying voice I whine the exact same way. Typically he finds it funny but I get the point across. He knows he won't get anywhere with whining.

Alison - posted on 08/23/2010

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I am still struggling with my four-year-old and whining. Ultimately though, she will continue whining as long as it is getting her positive results. You need to closely monitor your response to her whining and find out where the reward is for her.

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