How do I get my husband to undrstand my stress as a stay at home mother?

Aupriann - posted on 07/17/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My husband works second shift at boeing so he is gone from 2:20 to 11:30 at night. In the mean time I take care of our 1 year old and 4 year old boys. They drive me crazy My youngest always wants to be held or fed or bathed or a movie put on(the same movie over and over) and if I walk away from him he ries, he has to follow me every where. My oldest doesn't listen for anything I tried being calm, time outs, spank-ens, Yelling taking away toys, putting him on his bed. I feel like I have tried everything and he just wont listen. As soon as I turn my back he is getting into something else and making a new mess. Most days by 5 pm I am sitting in my bathroom crying. On top of this I am trying to get daycare so I can go back to work, do our budget and finances, clean the house do laundry and My husband says he would rather be a stay at home parent then go to work. He doesnt under stand how stressed I am and no matter what thinks I'm over exaggerating. I'm 60 pounds over wiehgt my hair is falling out and getting thin, My clothes dont fit me anymore, I never have time to go out with my friends, I have been stuck In our home for two years now and the only interaction I get aside from my kids and this computer is my husband who is not so pleasant all the time. He even gets angry with the kids anfter an hour of being around us. I love him And I want to be with him but I feel like Its time for a divorce. I feel like he takes me for granted and I am only 22. What the heck do I do?

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Priscilla - posted on 07/17/2013

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Make him understand talk to him straight up and how u feel ..its like its pushing u away from him u want to feel closer to him he needs to help u by at least asking u how was ur day or at least help u out in some ways being effection it would help u alot ..i knw I don't get that not even how's ur day or a kiss when he gets home no more its like things are fadeing away ..so does ur man tell u any of that or kiss u make u feel important? ..and helps with kids ? Cuz if he doesn't he should and if he does then that's good

Priscilla - posted on 07/17/2013

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Yeah I knw its sucks but true every time I try clean or something can't cuz baby starts to cry and only time I could do those things is when she naps ..teah guys always think different ..hope u work things out be strong

Crystal - posted on 07/17/2013

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I know how you feel. I have 18 month twin boys and they cry whenever I leave the room or try to do any chores the only time I get any time away from them is during naps and by that time I don't want to do anything.my husband thinks I should have the house clean 24/7 and that I shouldn't need help around the house, and I haven't been able to find a way to get him to understand. guys think differently and its hard trying to communicate. I hope you find a way to get him to understand,

Priscilla - posted on 07/17/2013

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dang sounds tough with the kids not listening in all its hard I understand that but u need to stay strong dnt let none that put u dwn ..and tops that I don't get ready no more no make up my hairs falling out to I lost wait which im trying to get little bigger but u no what if anything u try look good get ready but not to ready little makeup nice little hair do and look cute and if he asked why u got ready if he even notices just say i felt like getting ready i i dnt wants feel all bumy i try make my self feel good :) and he needs to be more patient with u and kids or he's really gonna lose u ..tell him cuz if he no ur weaknesses he will take advantage of it but you need show him and tell him how u really feel and u need to study him and find his weakness which is probably losing his family test him and he really loves u he will understand ..

Priscilla - posted on 07/17/2013

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hi I know how you feel my boyfriend goes to work from 7 am to like 10 pm or later and I have a 4 month old baby girl I don't sleep at night as much in the day I have to take care of his things clean cook wash his clothes everything and take care my baby plus she makes it hard on me to do any of that ..and sometimes he tells me why should I stress jus cuz I don't work ..i tell him if any thing id rather work cuz it would be less stress and I get tired of always being home seriously he'd like never home and when he comes home jus showers watches most of time we do r thing sometimes then he sleeps but what I think u should do is jus tell him him was up as in tell him what if he were in ur shoes he wouldn't make it nope ..he needs to understand its hard and u have to Kids even more ..tell him to jus talk to u and try to where ur coming from cuz I can easily switch it all up by going out get job less stress but then it would be hard find baby sitters and paying them and then your gona be the one to get out of work and still be taking care of them and be tired
.sometimes I feel like my bbydaddy boyfriend doesn't even care and not all happy to atlest see his bby he doesn't even hold her for awhile and if he does its when I give her to him and for a few minutes then he tells me HERE!! Like I never get a break it would be nice if he wanted hold het and say baby I'll watch her go ahead take a nap .heck no IVe never heard that once ..and that sucks ..and plus I don't even have much friend anymore or anything its even stessyer for me need someone to talk to no wat I mean ..well I hope u find a way to let him know how u feel and he understand :-)

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