How do I get my son to listen and behave?

Kristina - posted on 05/17/2011 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My son is four years old, and he's always had behavioral issues. He doesn't listen and when he doesn't get what he wants, he gets out of hand. Meaning...he will say nasty things, hit, kick, he just flips out and its on anyone or anything. It's embarrassing and I feel like a bad mother. I'm not sure what to do anymore.

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Jessica - posted on 05/17/2011

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Instead of the regular time-outs (that never work for my five year old) I have him hold the door knob. That way during his punishment he has something to focus on and he will not continue to say ugly mean things. His back is turned to me during this punishment so it works out wonderfully. My son has always been very energtic and sometimes that causes him to act out in a bad way when he doesn't have anything to do is when it gets bad. I always try to give him a task where ever we are. If I am in a doctor's office I have him count magazines, if we are at my grandparents house I have him go outside and pick weeds, or run in circles to see how many times he can do it. This always keeps his mind busy enough to not cause any more trouble. I hope this helps a little bit for you, these are the only types of things I have found that work for me :)

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/17/2011

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Ohhhh...Jessica, those are great busy work suggestions! I love it! My son also helps in the kitchen. he just turned 5, and has been helping since he was 2 1/2...he is really interested in cooking now.

Jessica - posted on 05/17/2011

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He always seems to act out really bad while I am trying to cook dinner so I have started making him feel like he is helping me, I will measure everything out and put into small bowls so he can mix them all together then I have him put everything away afterwards and clean the kitchen. He still has his moments of throwing fits but has calmed down alot feeling like he always has a job :)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/17/2011

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What does the doctor say?

Behavior issues are really difficult to deal with...much like a picky eater issue. It takes time, and patience. Re directing attention, or even giving more attention. I am sorry, I don't have much more for you. It is difficult when you are not actually seeing how interaction is. I am in no way a pro, but sometimes other moms can see what we the mother may not.

Kristina - posted on 05/17/2011

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yes i have brought it up to his doctore and his father flips outs on me. we are no longer together but we are doing our best to keep things civil and normal. and i try to get him out around children as much as i can. well i was workin and going to school, but as of right now its just school. but sometimes he gets mad at the other kids and hits them.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/17/2011

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Have you talked with your pediatrician about your concerns?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/17/2011

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I am so sorry Kristina. Raising kids is tough. What about all the other things?? Do you get him outside enough?? What about socializing?

Kristina - posted on 05/17/2011

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thank you for getting back to me so quickly. i still do the time out. and no i dont hit my son. i try to control the situation but it gets worse, i truely feel hopeless.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/17/2011

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Do you have him involved in sports, school or other outside activities??? Sometimes having them see how other kids their own age act in social environment helps....hey he might be bored and need more interaction or something to tire him out.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/17/2011

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Well, you are not a bad mother, and he is not a bad kid. Time outs work for my son. Not sure if you have tried that route or not. Calmly talking to them, if they are hitting, I hold the hand that tried (catching it mid hit I try at least) and telling them not to hit or kick. Do you hit? Spanking, if you do it, can often teach them that hitting is what you do when you are mad at someone.

If they are bad in public, I will leave where we are at. Not to avoid embarrassment, just to try to control the situation.

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