how do i get my step daugther

Jolene - posted on 03/20/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




to understand that her mother is not comeing back and that me and her father are going to stay together. I am pregnant now with our fist child together and she is realy driving me in-sain !! she cry all the time she evan some times hit me when i try to talk to her and the best part is she is only 4 years old. She is trying to pull me and her dad apart by not listing when i tell her to clean her room etc she tells me she wont and that her twin sister must clean it but i say no and then she cries to dady andthen she gets her way. I realy dont know what to do if any of you have advice please share them.


Michelle - posted on 03/20/2012




For a start you and your husband have to back each other up. She already knows that if she goes crying to Daddy she will get what she wants.

It may be a good idea to sit down with a family councilor. They can help the 2 of you come up with some good plans for parenting all the children as well as be someone that your SD can talk to.

She could also be jealous that you are having a baby and it's her way of getting attention. Even if you are telling her off, she's getting attention, try to praise good behaviour more and see how you go.


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Tabitha - posted on 03/20/2012




Did her mother pass away? This could be the underlying problem. She could(without really even knowing it) be trying to push you away so that you can't "leave" her like her mother did. This way she's controlling the situation. Sounds like she needs lots of hugs and lots of love. Is it possible for you to adopt them? This will help them feel more like a permanent family. If their birth mom isn't coming back, they need to know that you will be their mommy forever. Also, most older siblings do feel left out when a new baby is coming into the picture. Just make sure that they are both included and you still get some alone time with them. I also agree with Michelle...make sure you and Daddy are on the same page and that the kids know he will back you up. Knowing that he trusts you will go a long way in their learning to trust you. Good Luck.

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