How do I get the balance right?

Susan - posted on 08/15/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a 8 yr old son who has struggled through his education to learn to read and write. He is still reading/writing at the level as a 6 yr old which they are now working with him to help. However I also have a daughter who is 5yrs old who is now reading at the same level as him and her writing is rapidly catching up too! My son already lacks confidence in his work and my daughter isn't helping by telling him his mistakes in reading or reading words for him (trying to help him). She answers questions much faster, reads much faster. I am trying to help build his confidence praising him for his efforts and encourage him but he gives up easily. I feel bad when I encourage and praise my daughter for her achievements as my son struggles so much and feel this may be denting his confidence. He is good at Karate so try remind him this is his strength in life and Leah's is reading and writing. Any suggestions?

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Susan - posted on 08/15/2010

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Yes I live in England too. The school has put him into extra classes at school as he is on the special needs program for his school due to his difficulty in learning to read/write. I personally believe he has dyslexia as he still can't write even his name correctly (writes Josh with the J and S backwards) but that's another issue! My daughter is at the other end of the scale as the school are amazed at how fast she is learning everything! They have told me she is above the level they would expect. This is where the problems occurr when Josh has his sister out smarting him in reading and writing (for example if my daughter and younger son are playing schools). Sometimes my son who struggles will argue with my daughter over what a word spells and usually my daughter is right! How do you help with these sort of situations Louise?

Louise - posted on 08/15/2010

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Has the school offered any extra help for your son? If he is lagging behind then maybe he needs extra classes during school time. I don't know where you are in the world but in England if a child is behind they are taken out of the class with the others and taught in smaller groups at their level to help boost confidence and combat any underlying problems. If the school will not help then look for a private tutor for your son to go to. This need not be expensive put a note up in a shop window near a university/college for young adults to come and tutor your son. All he needs is one to one time that is not interupted with someone who is patient and encouraging. My youngest son was behind and my elder son was on the gifted and talented register so I had both ends of the scale. My youngest son was affected by his brothers acheivements as it knocked his slef esteem. Just try and boost him in other ways. But first call is the school to see what they suggest.

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