How do I handle a suitation where I find out my 20 year daughter is a lesbian?

Rekha - posted on 12/17/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )

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We just found out and my sons thinks it's a disgrace she been with another woman. Anything will help please

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Rachel - posted on 12/17/2014

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Move forward like nothing is different because nothing is different. It seems unlikely that she would suddenly start spewing details of sexual escapades with women if she never shared that type of information about men (if she dated any) and it is likely that she had girlfriends over for dinner before you knew so whoopie.

As for your son - ugh! I think it is best to remind him that she is no different as a person than before she told you and that if he cannot continue to regard her in the same way he has always been expected to then he should stay clear of her life.

Then smack him in the back of the head. :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/17/2014

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Tell your son, in no uncertain terms, that if he has that little regard for his sister, he doesn't need to be around when she is, and enforce it.

Then, tell him to pull his head out of is ass. Is he God, to be determining what is right/wrong for anyone? Is HIS life perfect?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/17/2014

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If you cannot accept her, without persecution, do her a favor and stay out of her life. Likewise with your son. If he cannot respect his sister, he needs to stay out of her life as well.

If you love her, you will not judge her. If you judge her, you do not love her. Your son is an ass as well. Its none of his business what his sisters sexual orientation is. If it "disgusts" him, I guess it's better that he remove himself now, rather than cause her pain by being an ass directly to her.

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Carman - posted on 12/20/2014

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Love is unconditional, the family may not approve of her new found choice of lifestyle but it's not the worst. He has the right to his feelings however he should respect his sister and her choice..

Michelle - posted on 12/20/2014

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You need to tell your son that his sister hasn't changed and is still his sister. If he can't accept her choice then he needs to leave her alone and find a way to get over it.
He's a disgrace with the way he is treating her.

Mommabird - posted on 12/19/2014

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Noone can help how they feel. Not you, not your daughter, not anyone. Although we all should respect each others beliefs and choices in life. Neither you nor your son has to like it, agree with it, or approve it....you just have to accept it and respect her. Same rules should still apply for her lesbian relationship as any relationship your son would have with a girl....under your roof though. To me, I would still accept and love my children if they were gay but I would probably feel a little uncomfortable with PDA in front of me(other than hugging or holding hands) But if you have unconditional love for a child NOTHING should change that. You dont have to support what they do in order to LOVE them :)

Amy - posted on 12/18/2014

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Personally I would tell my daughter that her brothers reaction is a disappointment in how you believed you raised him, let her know you love her no matter what and that you'll always be there for her. I would also flat out tell my son that it's dissappointing that he would have that reaction to his sister and that you will not tolerate any negative treatment of his sister and if it happens in your presence you'll ask him to leave.

Rekha - posted on 12/17/2014

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You right that's wat I told my son but he does not think like us. I love her nd it's her life I just want to help my son relize his wrong by judging her. Thanks.

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