how do i handle my fiance sleeping with his kids?

Monica - posted on 08/23/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Preparing to marry the guy. He has a 10 and 13 Yr old son that innocently watch Netflix with dad and fall asleep in his bed. How am I going to change the sleeping arrangements without being resented?

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Rebekah - posted on 08/23/2013

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Do they stay all night, or does he send them off to their own bed at some point? Does he know how you feel and expect to make some changes, or does he want it to continue?
In my opinion, if it only happens once in a while, what harm is it? Its kind of a nice bonding time for them, which they may really enjoy given that their family has gone through (and will continue to go through) some changes. How often are they staying at their dad's?
If its happening frequently or nightly, then yes, I can understand how that would interfere. :) You need your fiance's cooperation and buy-in... if you both agree that this is going to happen less often, then he should be the one to initiate change with his boys... to help take the heat off you. There may be some resentment anyway, since they will have to share their dad with you, but that's normal. Support ways that they can still bond with their dad. Maybe they can change the location...watch Netflix in the living room on a pile of pillows and blankets on a Friday night until a designated bedtime (or if they fall asleep there, what does it matter?). Help them start new traditions, both for "just the guys" and for all four of you. Good luck.

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