How do I handle waiting to hear if I get custody or my emotionally and physically abusive husband of 15years

Attie - posted on 05/01/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I just had court kids are living with me have been for almost a year. He is so horrible and the horrible things he said my lawyer didn't do anything she just said it was hearsay and not to worry. I don't party, don't take drugs, have Lupus, I work, He has paid no child support and is over 9,000.00 behind Iam freaking. I cant be without my kids. I have been crying everyday I cant stop. She didn't bring up how they are doing or anything about their school. And I just had to sit there with my mouth open and take it. From he suspects I drink or do drugs to I have Lupus and cant take care of myself to I made it up. He claimed I didn't feed my kids to they lived in filth which all of this couldn't be farther from the truth! what do I do?

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A brother is a very weak character witness; any family member is. Family will lie for each other, and the judge knows that. The judge will see his address and know that he lived too far away to make thorough observations.
If submitted as evidence, the judge will have access to the social services report showing that he was not credible and that their investigation turned up no evidence. In this case, the fact that he has a report will actually benefit you because of what is in the report.
Not sure there is much you can do about the eviction thing. Did he file for it illegally? It was a mean thing to do, but if he didn't break any laws, it's not worth bringing up in court--the judge will see it as a waste of time.
The 911 call with no record is concerning. If you are in the US EVERY 911 call is recorded and a file is created. If you call 911, officers are required to respond, even if you tell them nothing is wrong once you get there, and they are required to file a report. You should have been given the officer's card, usually with a case # written on it, but that doesn't always happen. You should be able to obtain the report from your local law enforcement center. If you called 911, and there is no report, something is wrong.

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Attie - posted on 05/02/2013

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Thank you!!!! Something was wrong they were friends! The cop cold barely recall the incidents! Except that I sounded frantic! My lawyer barely touched it. She said that by the cop saying I sounded frantic and the cop acknowledgeing he made no report....that the judge would realize that they were friends!

Attie - posted on 05/01/2013

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I have always taking care of them...I so hope that that shown thru..I just can't live without them..they are all I have and they are what keeps me going! Thank you very much..I really appreciate the comments.

Dove - posted on 05/01/2013

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If he has no evidence... the judge isn't going to care about a word he says. Him trying to make you look bad without any evidence to back him up... actually helps make HIM look bad. If your kids are doing well where they are and you have been a consistent part of their lives... you won't lose them. I can't predict how much custody or visitation he will get, but you will not lose them.

Attie - posted on 05/01/2013

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Thank You for your reply!
But He had his brother who is a pastor who sat there and pretty much said what he said...even though He wasn't in the home and a state away. My ex did call social services but they found him not creditable and said he only did that to just say he did for the custody and they were right. last Christmas he filed to have me evicted and take custody of the kids and I found out about it when I happened to get the mail and got the "denied reply" back. And he actually sat there and denied that He did that.
It has been one awful thing after another. He was abusive thru out and it increased. And evan when I called 911 for help they did nothing nor did they file a report. It all feels so hopeless.

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Your lawyer is right. It's all hearsay and it won't hold up in court unless he has physical evidence.
The judge had to sit there and listen to him, just like you did, but I can assure you he or she will not believe a word of it without evidence or VERY strong character witnesses. To prove you "live in filth" he needs social service records, to prove you don't feed the kids, he needs medical records showing malnutrition. To prove you do drugs, he needs police records or drug test results. Without evidence, he just looks like a lying Jack to the judge, and your silence speaks volumes. The judge will see that these allegations do not warrant a response because there is no proof they are true. If you start arguing in court, saying "That's not true!" without any evidence to back up your own statements, you begin to look like you are hiding something, that there might be some truth to the allegations he is making.

Just remember, without evidence, nothing he says will hold up in court.

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