How do I help my daughter go to her father?

Jessica - posted on 08/29/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Please help! My daughter NEVER wants to go to her fathers home and especially now that he has a woman in his life. She screams momma all the way to the car and it has gotten worse now that he will not let me take my child to the car. I have ordered a teddy bear that says in my voice momma loves you and will see you soon when she hugs it. I also put a book together that has pictures of me and her family in it to help with the separation. Am I doing the right thing and is there anything else I can get or do to help her go. I tell her its ok and to have fun and be a good girl and that I love her and will see her soon. I feel as if I say and do the right things, Am I?

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Lacye - posted on 08/29/2012

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Don't drag out good byes. That just makes it harder on her and you.



Try getting her excited about going to her dad's house a few days before hand. Like 2 or 3 days before he comes to get her, act all excited about daddy coming to pick her up to visit with her and about how much fun she's going to have. Have your ex call her that day and let him tell her about how excited he is to see her and how much he can't wait to see her.



I think he did the right thing though about him taking her to the car and not you. That will also help with the process of her getting used to going to her dad's.

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Jessica - posted on 09/04/2012

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Karen,

Thank you its nice knowing im not the only one going threw it, but its also very upsetting Im so sorry you have to go threw that also.

Jessica - posted on 09/04/2012

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Lacye,

I really wish your advice would help but the schedule is he gets her mondays and tuesdays and I get her wednesdays and thursdays he gets her friday and I get her Sundays and we swap out saturdays I wish I had that many days with her to get her excited about going but I dont and I really don't think its me not getting her excited enough its her missing me and in the post I need help with the separation anxiety she feels tords me and if I take her to the car she doesn't cry because I make her comfortable and make sure she has everything she needs when he takes her its cold shoulder and he acts as if alienating me from her is the best thing. He wont stop saying you don't need your mother and other thing to that extent not what I think should be said and what I learned in the parenting class. I really feel as if he needs to start doing the right things and help her know she is going to see me again soon and that they are going to have fun but he acts angry and violent when she wants me and not him.

Karen - posted on 08/29/2012

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I'm so sorry! I go through the same thing with my son who is 4. He kicks, screams, cries, it's horrible. I've tried everything from trying to get him excited about going, from not saying anything at all. I just can't find what works. I feel your pain, because to me it's the worst feeling in the world.

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