Ashley - posted on 12/30/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )
My husband just experienced the loss of his mother to cancer 3 weeks ago. Before that his father also passed from cancer. His parents went pretty much right after one another. He has been having trouble with it and I dont know how to help him. He tells me that he needs space but I dont know how to give that to him since we have been married I have never had to "give him space". While my husband is experiencing this loss I am going through my own emotions on a different level though.
I can't fathom why for some reason I am upset that when his mother passed she took a piece of him with her and I am afraid that I may never see that happiness in him that he once had. I am also upset that he has been acting so mean to me, he is very short. I just want to be close to him and share the pain and sorrow with him but he seems to want to be left alone while at the same time he wants me around.
We got into an argument last night and he said if i keep "doing what im doing" he will divorce me. He says that I am making things go by too fast and im not giving him time to even mourn of grieve. I just cant help feeling lonely and left adrift while he is in this emotional storm. I feel sad that i thought i was the center of his happiness while all along im realizing that i wasnt and it was his mom. He told me he doesnt want to forget his mom and when it comes to death, I dont like to think about it or reminice id rather keep moving forward and just not think about it because i know dewlling will only make things worse. At least this is how i feel.
I just dont know what to do about my feelings of abandonment in this situation and how i can even feel this way. I dont want to feel this way i loved my Mother In law very much and i dont understand how i can feel this way even though i know she loved me too.
If you have any advice id greatly appreciate it, thank you.