How do I help my step daughter with her anger?

Angela - posted on 06/09/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




My husband and I have been married for four years. His daughter is nine and my two daughters are seven and six. We have full custody of his daughter and I share custody of my two with their father; they spend a week with me and a week with him. My step daughter's biomom has four children total, all by different fathers. I don't know how things work in her home and I don't care but she barely has anything to do with my step daughter. This is blamed on my husband who fought for four years for custody and finally won. The biomom could have regained regular visitations if she would have done what my husband requested which was to pass a drug test and go to at least three counseling sessions with my step daughter. That was three years ago and she has not done such. The biomom is constantly telling my step daughter she will do things like show up for her soft ball games (she actually did once but she made goo goo faces at her new baby while my step daughter hung on the fence of the dugout like an orphan calling out "mama" and completely ignored or "didn't hear" her.) or send presents from the last three Christmases and birthdays and never does. My step daughter surely feels abandoned. Her father and I can only do so much to help her and soft ball has helped. She's only nine and hasn't hit puberty yet but already has an attitude and I am not that great at keeping my cool with attitudes.. I know that's awful seeing as I am in a house with three girls that will, no doubt, have some massive attitudes when all of them hit puberty. I'm trying though. How can I help her deal with her anger of being abandoned? Besides counseling..


View replies by

[deleted account]

Al Anon or Ala Teen maybe a good place to start. It is for people who are dealing with a loved one who is in denial about their addiction. And don't be afraid of doing counseling. That maybe the best investment you will ever make in helping her now. Be careful though. Some counselors have their degree but are not qualified to deal with your situation. Be sure to do your home work.

Michelle - posted on 06/09/2012




My son went through the counseling to deal with his anger issues towards his dad and these are the things that were suggested to us, have her keep a journal about her feelings tell her to write everything down then let it go, explain to her that no matter how much she would like to she can't change her mom so she has to look for the positives and know that she is loved deeply by you and your husband. Have her write a letter to bio mom telling her how she feels my son did this and it has helped alot.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms