How do I know if my 3 yr old daughter is getting molested by her stepdad while she sleeps?

Judy - posted on 05/01/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My daughter is really close to her stepdad, but I wonder if he does anything to her while she sleeps. She loves to be with him at day time but during night times she refuses to get put to sleep by him. She usually sleeps with a little dress pjs and shorts underneath and two times she woke up with out her shorts. I'm not sure if she took them off because it was hot I just don't know! Her vocabulary is a little behind so it's hard for her to communicated verbally but with her actions I can tell she loves her daddy. I don't know if her not wanting to change her diaper has anything to do with it as well.
Her attitude hasn't change she is a really happy hyper little girl.

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Sarah - posted on 05/01/2015

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You did not say in your post that you took her to the doctor. Even if he can't "see" evidence, he still is mandated to report. She also would by law been required to have a pelvic exam and rape kit completed. These do not get done in the doctor's office. So what did you tell the doctor and what did he do? If you have even an inking that this is valid, then she must live separately from step-dad until the claim is dis-proven. If you continue to leave her at the mercy of her step-father, then you can have consequences legally.
If you go through a whole investigation, and there is no evidence of harm, then you can sleep easy. It may be a huge hassle, but the peace of mind is priceless.

Sarah - posted on 05/01/2015

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When a report of possible sexual assault is made to a mandated reporter, he can't just decide not to act. You doctor is required by law to report to CPS and follow their instructions. A rape kit is a traumatic event and one not to be considered lightly. The law is the law. If one child is protected out of 100 mistaken reports, then it is worth it.

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Judy - posted on 05/01/2015

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Thank you for the information I didn't know that I have. 6 year old son and I nvr went through this till I had my princess. Thank you

Judy - posted on 05/01/2015

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Well the doctor told me she doesn't have any signs that shows that she has been abused. She is doing great with hers peach therapy and she looks like a perfect healthy and happy girl. And I honestly didn't know about the kit you just mention that's really helpfu I just made a call to my doctor to get information about that. Thank you Sarah

Judy - posted on 05/01/2015

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Yes I was I lived in a domestic violence home and I had a blurry vision of my cousin doing stuff or showing I was little so I don't really remember. And then I have my mom putting stuff in my head because she was sexually abused and her stepdad try as well. A friend actually told me what your telling me. I currently have my daughter in theraphy but she is doing great. I feel I'm going crazy whether to believe his doing something to my daughter or maybe it's all in my head. He even told me I'll go with you to the doctor to a counselor to whatever you want so you can see that I haven't done anything. You are right I need counseling :) thank you dove

Dove - posted on 05/01/2015

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Have you been abused? Oftentimes if you have suffered abuse... either in the past or present... you might see 'signs of abuse' everywhere. Now, I'm not saying you don't have anything to worry about w/ your daughter, but I'm also not saying that you do.

If the tests are showing nothing I think your next step would be to get yourself into counseling and talk about your concerns and suspicions and where they may or may not stem from. You can also seek counsel for your daughter and they may be able to do some play acting to find out if you have anything to legitimately be concerned about or not.

Judy - posted on 05/01/2015

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I did but everything shows normal she doesn't have anything that shows that he has done anything.

Michelle - posted on 05/01/2015

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Is it stepdad or dad? You have called him both.
If you suspect anything then go to your doctor and report it. They will do tests to see if there are any signs of abuse.

Jodi - posted on 05/01/2015

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So you suspect something is going on and you are just wondering? Are you fucking joking?

If you have this level of distrust with her dad, why is he even still there?

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