How do I move past my miscarriage?

Lauren - posted on 05/22/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




My pregnancy didn't start out normally at all. Went to the doctor with very very bad stomach pain and my husband and I found out I was pregnant. I was then put in the hospital because they thought I was having a ectopic pregnancy. After refusing to let the doctors do anything until I seen my OBGYN they released me. Went to see my ob the next day and Found out I had a cyst on my ovary. Which was the cause to the cramping...At this time he told me everything was fine....Fast forward to my 11 weeks. Woke up at 3:30am to go use the restroom and felt a BIG gush. When I got to the bathroom I was bleeding. Called the doctor on call and he told me to wait till my doctors office opens then go in. A hour and a half later I started passing blood clots. I knew At that time that I had lost my baby. I went in to see my doctor and he told me that I lost the baby at 10 weeks. I had to come home to my 2 year old son. And act like nothing had happened and be super mom. It has now been a month. And it feels like it was yesterday. My son still wants to kiss the baby in my tummy. I cry myself to sleep. I have this unbelievable empty feeling. That my husband doesn't understand. So I find my self not talking to him about any of this. My doctor has me taking anxiety meds. Which I have never had to take before, I seem to be blaming my self more and more. Im just having a really hard time moving past this.


America3437 - posted on 05/22/2012




I have been there times 5. It never goes away it just moves aside to the demand of everyday life. I still cry when I come across the ultrasound pics. I have three teens but from a day 1 they knew what was happening. My son was 2.5 when I had my third miscarriage and I just told him the baby got sick and the doctors couldn't help him so he died and went to live with Jesus. I explained it the same to my other children when it happened and as teens now they still sometimes ask about the babies I lost but it is just a natural part of life and you have to keep living for the precious little one you do have.

Erin - posted on 05/22/2012




Because you said that you went home and had to be super mom and act like nothing happened, I think part of the reason you can't move past this is that you are denying yourself a chance to grieve. If you feel you can't talk to your husband, find SOMEONE to talk to - a friend, a religious advisor (pastor, priest, rabbi, etc), or a grief counselor. Also do tell your husband what he can do to help you, even if it's just, "I can't tell you how I'm feeling, but please rub my shoulder as I cry at night." Finally, at just a month after a miscarriage, there's no way you could have moved past this already. Give yourself some time to create a new normal.

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S. - posted on 05/22/2012




Lauren my heart goes out to you, it's still raw and you haven't had time to grieve, your in pain and no one will ever understand how YOU feel, I had a miscarriage 14 years ago and I still think about it now, I would have called my baby Morgan and as crazy as it might sound I'v always said aloud or in my head (whilst on my own) "Morgan mummy loves you and misses you"it was hard at first but it started to make me feel better although it wasn't born it was loved and I will not forget it. Maybe something like that will help you? your husband will be hurting too but I don't think they have the attachment we feel in saying that don't lock him out and try and talk to him and don't deal with this on your own. Hugs**

Lauren - posted on 05/22/2012




I have told my 2 year old...But he just doesn't understand. And I'm sure that he will stop doing it. Erin, I do have one friend that I talk to. But she doesn't understand because she hasn't went thru it. But she does listen and that does help. And your right I think I do need to give my self some time to grieve. I only let me self have mini break downs and then go on about my day. And I had to come home to my son and act like nothing had happened because I wasn't ready I think to tell him. Thank You both for the comments.

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