How do I not discipline my boyfriend's 10 year old daughter when she is behaving badly while he is at work?

Morgan - posted on 06/19/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Maybe I don't understand discipline. I keep reading that you should leave the discipline up to the bio parent for their own bio kids. What do I do while he is not here? I can't let her do whatever she wants. A few minutes ago she and the neighbor's kids next door were chasing the neighbors chickens with a stick. I told her to stop and not chase the chickens. A few minutes later she was doing the same thing and so I told her she needs to come back on our property. Isn't that discipline? I'm confused. If I get her too upset or if I have to tell her dad about any of it when he gets back he'll just get mad at me. Now that school is out we have her much more that we usually do.

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If the boyfriend is leaving his child with you to watch, then yes, you need to have permission to discipline her. You need to have a conversation with him and discuss how he wants her disciplined, what constitutes discipline, and what the rules she is expected to follow are. If he wants to do the majority of the disciplining, you need to know what you can do with her until he gets back.
Does he allow babysitters to discipline her? If not, I doubt many ever babysit for him more than once.

I think what you did was fine. For small infractions where all you are doing is making her come home, I don't see a need to tell the boyfriend, but for bigger infractions, or if she is doing the same thing over and over again, you might want to discuss it and get his input on the situation.

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Morgan - posted on 06/20/2013

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Thank you. You helped with my confusion over what I should and shouldn't tell him when he gets home.

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