Dianne - posted on 02/25/2012 ( 19 moms have responded )
I've lost friends & family over him. I know I wasn't a great mother so I hope no-one replies saying for me not to feel guilty. I just need maybe some other moms in the same situation to answer because they will understand. I think he did what he did because he didn't have any confidence at all and he wanted to feel powerful. He wants to come to stay at our place temporarily until he finds his own place. He is 30 yrs old. It's going to be hard for me to say no to alot of things because I feel I owe him for not being the mom he needed. I feel guilt because it's justified. I know I can't keep thinking this way the rest of my life but I need to prepare somehow now. He now has absolutely no friends and isn't good at making them. He sometimes acts like a 15 yr old. He talks & talks about very immature things instead of worrying about being employed which is going to be a big one. My beloved son has been diagnosed with ADHD & Bi Polar. Thank You in advance for your insight if you are in the same or similiar situation. I don't know how strict I should be with him-see I'm thinking negativley! Jeesh... ok, so for the positives! How do I encourage job search with his incarceration & medical/mental handicaps. I have grand children to think about also. I love my son as much as any other mother, and even though he is an adult I have to deal with him the best way possible because I want him to be a big part of my life & me his as he has only me. In the future-that WILL be a different story. I've tried to talk with some people about this before and all I got was negative feedback! I want whats best for him. I know he will eventually have his own life. I just want to help him get it started and not hang out with the wrong kind of people for him. He's desperately lonely because of whats happened and asked me to help him find his old friends which I don't want to do because i think theyr'e a bad influence even at his age. He said it's not up to me whom he hangs with-of course I know that-but I'm hoping there's something I can do to steer him in another direction! I know this is going to take some creative thinking & yes I know the resources I have, but theyr'e limited. I know my son and he may not respond to them as he doesn't realize the big picture. But I also know that he relys on me & trusts me-so therefore I hope I can better prepare myself & him for the adjustment into hopefully a new life...thank You again for any success stories of moms & sons in the same boat...