Anita - posted on 11/16/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
I was never really close to my mother in fact I resented her for most of my life because I felt she choose my elder sister over me and could have done more to help me. I don’t even want to talk about some bitter abusive language that shattered my self-esteem. But after I had my daughter, she finally came through for me and we have made our peace although she refuses to accept her terrible behaviour and still lashes out once in a while I have forgiven her. I also understand the some of the circumstances she found herself in hence her bad behaviour towards me. I am a mother now my daughter is only nine months and I find myself in a similar situation; facing a bitter divorce and an absentee, resentful narcissistic father for my daughter. One of the problems is not having a good relationship with my mother I have no good example of a mother daughter relationship to build on. Another problem is, I am so similar to my mother I find myself making similar comments that she would and I am so scared. How do I prevent making the same mistakes my mother did? How do I prevent her from also resenting me for her father’s absence? It doesn’t help that since the our divorce he has been spreading malicious lies about me and I am afraid he would do so to my daughter. I know how much I hated my mother and I couldn't bear to be looked at by my daughter with those eyes. Please any Ideas on successfully raising happy girls as a single mother with all these issues?