How do I request the father of my unborn child to relinquish his rights when I have no contact with him?

Abbigail - posted on 12/18/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I am 5 months pregnant and not with the father. He was mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically abusive and I believe he started doing meth again (he did used to do it a few years ago). He would disappear at 2 in the morning every night when he thought I was asleep, stopped sleeping in the same room as me and then started disappearing to his drug dealer friends house in a bigger city an hour away for days at a time.

When I told him I was pregnant he disappeared to that friends house. I waited and waited for a week to talk to him and hoping he'd come back wanting to be the guy he acted like when we first got together and he never came home so I moved out and into my parents. He still has not once tried to contact me in any way and has no interest in this pregnancy, the baby, or me. I do not want child support. The $150 or so a month I would get isn't worth it, I would pay that just to not deal with the bullshit.

My concern is that he will have a change of heart later down the road and of course he will get visitation or custody because the courts would rule that they have a right to get to know each other if he wants to and all there is 2 police reports that are my word against his and no action taken or physical proof.

Is there any legal action or paper work I can send him requesting he give up his rights now before the child is born while he is still clearly ok with the abandonment?


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/18/2013




No, there is no action nor paperwork to make the father of your child relinquish his rights.

Yes, he certainly can change his mind down the road. You did, about being in a relationship with him, right? And he does deserve the right to know his child! Just because he MAY be doing meth isn't a reason not to know your kid. FYI, my hubby is a recovered meth addict, and has been for 25 years. We have 2 kids, and he's a better dad than most I know. That being said...

You need to establish paternity and file custody when the child is born. At that time, you can discuss possibilities for visitation, and whether or not you're going to file for support. That's up to you. But know, if a judge gives him visitation, it is NOT dependent on the amount of support, so if you're not planning on filing for support, you may want to rethink that.

If you want custody with supervised visits, you'll need to be able to prove, in writing, that he is a threat to the childs health & safety if allowed to have unsupervised visitation.

Jodi - posted on 12/18/2013




You slept with him, he can't be that bad, right?

Anyway, you can't force him to relinquish his rights if he doesn't want to. He has every right to have a change of heart down the road. Think about it. Adoptions don't finalise immediately for this very reason. It's called a cooling off period. He's entitled to that too.

Abandonment won't wash at this point.

There is also nothing you can do before the baby is born. You can, however, file for legal custody after the baby is born. But to claim abandonment, you will have to wait longer. Removal of rights, however, that depends where you live. But it won't be before you have the baby.

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