how do i start a mother/daughter bond w a 6yr? im always told she hates me n wants me dead. i make a effort for just her and i get rejected. she is my oldest and only girl with 2 little brothers. i have tried diff things and her reaction is i dont like you. (my fam of 5 live w my mom,little sister,stepdad)
my daughter and i had a good bond untill the last 10mos when we moved into my moms. i look back and remember what we had and the moments we shared and im trying to get that back. she was a momma's girl. even tho i spent more time with my 2 sons we still found our time. we had a stronger bond when she started preschool in 2010 cause i was always inolved with her being the oldest and her problems. she is a IEP student and i was there for her. even tho we had a strong bond, i respected my mom wanting her more often because she was her first granddaughter so every weekend grandma had her. yes she got spoiled and got away w stuff but that didnt cause a prob when she came home. we both had a stronge bond with her untill we all moved in together. we both tried to live like we did seperate n that didnt work. when i would stand my ground as a parent, my daughter used grandma as her saftey for everything. example: she knows how to dress herself n didnt want help, but when i tell her to get dressed to played grandma into thinking she was helpless... thats the way its been for 10mos over every thing. thats why i dont have a bond anymore. everything we did together is done with grandma now. when i set out to make time w my daughter or bring back stuff we did she throws a fit and says i dont like it. then it really hurts when i see over time my daughter askin grandma to do what i tried. exampe:: we always painted our nails a diff color every week. i tried to bring that back and even let her pick all the colors. we set down to do it and she dont like it. a few days later she asks grandma to paint nails... my mom says she loves me and misses me. i didnt beleive it at first till one day i overheard her say it. so i got excited my baby girl said that so i would think of ways to spend our girl time agian. every idea i had got replaced w grandma. when my mom leaves the house, i have almost the same relationship w my daughter before moving here. its the same when i leave and shes with grandma. the problem is living here and i beleive i will get our girl time back. moving out gets farther n farther away the more we find houses. i just found out we cant buy a house becasue we have really bad credit so we r told to rent to own. no owners want to rent to own. rentals are slim and the ones we find are twice our budget. so now it feels we will never move out there for i wont ever be a parent to my 3 kids.
Dove - posted on 10/17/2012
If she has emotional issues... is she in counseling/under the care of a doctor for them?
All of my kids have told me that they don't like me at times or they want a new mommy... I know THEY don't mean it and it typically means I'm doing something right.
It is hard to START a bond with a 6 year old as typically it's something that starts from birth and grows over time. I do not know her specific issues or your specific situation, but some family counseling might be a good place to start before the situation gets worse.
I know there's no reason for my 6yr old not to like me and that's one thing I dont understand. She is a emotional child anyway. We found that out at a preschool screening. Things affect her emotional a different way which is why I thought we would be closer. She has that close respecful relationship with her grandma. Now it sucks I see that living in her house.
Tyla - posted on 10/17/2012
There is no excuse for a 6 year old not to like/love her mother unless you've done something to hurt her emotionally or physically. If nothing else she should respect you. The first time I told my mom I hated her she knocked me across the room I was 12. I never said anything like that to my mom agian and now we are best friends.
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