how do i stop my 4yr old wetting herself day and night

EMMA - posted on 11/25/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

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hi mums my daughter jessica has just turned 4 and shes constantly wetting herself espcially in school we've told her to ask to go to the toilet she's got her potty downstairs and upstairs when she goes to bed unless me or her dad gets up and puts her on the potty she'll wet the bed then we'll have 2-3 dry nights then wets the bed the rest of the week this is 2nd new mattress and she costing us fortune in knickers i don't know what else to do if someone could give me some tips please im desperate she shouldn't still be wetting herself at 4 i didn't have this trouble with my oldest please help thank you!

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[deleted account]

My girls wouldn't 'wet' during the day, but they'd dampen themselves up until just a few months ago (and they're almost 9). They weren't even out of night time pull ups until 4.5 and we still had a wet bed every week or every month up until 6. They still had/have the dampening at night on occasion and our last WET bed was about 6 months ago. Yet their semi-potty trained 2.5 year old brother stays dry through the night (w/out any midnight potty breaks) MOST of the time.



Every kid is different and unless there is a medical issue (like an infection) the best 'cure' for this issue is time and patience.



I did forget to add that when the girls were in K they had several wetting episodes at school. They would tell me that the teacher wouldn't let them go, but in reality they just weren't asking to go. Once they started doing that... the school wetting episodes disappeared.

Becca - posted on 11/25/2010

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First of all all children are different so dont compare her to your oldest, I know some children who have wet their pants up til the age of 6, First things first,Buy a plastic cover for her mattress,they are effective and inexpensive. Second,how soon before bed does she have something to drink? 2 hours before bed I stopped letting my children have any thing to drink,and made sure to send them to the bathroom several times before bed,whether they think they need to go or not. As far as the episodes in school go,try talking to her teacher,Ask her if she can help you,She can ask your child frequently privately if she has to use the restroom or not,maybe your daughter is simply embarrassed to ask. Talk to your daughter about this as well,Offer a reward for going potty,whether it be at home,school or at a friends house.And whether you tell her to go,ask her to go or she goes on her own,Children love rewards! Make her a sticker board,for all 7 days of the week,everyday she doesn't wet her pants,give her a GOLDEN STAR,when she gets 7 stars,give her a little something,this will be an incentive for her. Good Luck
PS, how old is your oldest? Maybe she can help.Kids have a tendency to listen to siblings. If all fails,talk to her pediatrician.

Jana - posted on 11/25/2010

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Does she wet only when she is sleeping? (during nap time at school and night time at home) Has she never stopped wetting, or is this new? Either way, talk to your pediatrician. If it's new, she could have a bladder infection or some other physical problem that could be treated. This is also true if she wets while she is awake.
If she has never stopped wetting and it happens only while sleeping, she could be a late bed-wetter, though other problems should still be ruled out. Late bed-wetters will often continue to wet the bed, at least sporadically, until age 12 or 14. This often runs in families, but not always. I know it's frustrating, but remember that no child of her age or older wants to wet the bed. Its humiliating for her. There is medication available for late bedwetters.
In the meantime, there is a product in the diaper aisle called 'Goodnights.' It is similar to Pull-ups, but is for older bedwetters, and comes specifically for boys or girls. She could even wear them to school and no one would know. Good luck!

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LAURA - posted on 09/25/2012

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MY 4 YEAR OLD IS DOING THE SAME ITS GETTING REALLY BAD SHES WETS HERSELF EVERY NIGHT AND EVERYDAY AT SCHOOL ITS REALLY GETTING US DOWN REALLY DONT NO HOW TO GET PASS THIS SHE HAS BEEN OUT OF NAPPIES FOR 2 YEARS NOW.

Amina - posted on 12/08/2010

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if u tried all above what its said then u should stop giving ur child sweets and juice after 6 pm my son used to but hes ok now so dont give them sweet and juice it should her

Amber - posted on 12/08/2010

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Try not letting her have a drink befor she goes to bed and take her to the potty befor u put her to bed let me know if it works it worked for my dughter at 2

Sophia - posted on 12/08/2010

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I went through the same thing except my son would also poop in his underwear occasionally. I recommend seeing a pediatrician ASAP. They are best to asses your personal situation and our pediatrician helped us resolve the issue in only 3 weeks!!!! To think I lived with this until my son was 5! Best of luck to you and don't get discouraged.

EMMA - posted on 12/08/2010

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we took her to the drs and it turned out she had an infection but antibiotics r making her wee alot so we put a nappy on her till she finishes the med cos she's scared of wetting herself in school so we've kept her home

EMMA - posted on 11/26/2010

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ive made an appointment with our dr to see if theres anything that could be causing her to wet herself so much i know my mum said that i was late being trained esp in the nights but she said i was just gone 4 my daughter was 4 on the 2nd nov its driving me crazy cos i wake at least 4 times to go to the loo and everytime i put her on the potty but she'll be dry for 3 days then wet the rest in the day she 96 percent of the she'll out of school with wet knickers and when we ask her why she's says they were doing something we've tried plumming into her put your hand up and ask to go but its like talking to our dog sometimes i get frustrated we've tried everything the drs is my last resort, i was wondering if it could be because when we got to cardiff which is a 45min drive we put a nappy on her to go there and back if we dont we'd be stopping every 5mins cos sometimes she says i need to go when we stop she says she can't go and it's illegal to stop on the hard shoulder unless you've broken down, ive weighd out so many different things another thing im on medication and was throughout my pregnancy she's got a low immune system could that also be the reason y she's wetting don't what else to do HELP!

Kylie - posted on 11/25/2010

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hi - I was wetting the bed right into my teens - I had something called Kidney Reflux - thankfully, my daughters don't have it - Patience is the key to it all - my 4 yr old forgets to go and we don't stress at all - it's an accident - I started off with my 2 girls going to the toilet every 15 minutes, then ½ hr, then hourly so they get used to it - everytime they went and "something" happened, they got a star for remembering and a reward at the end of the week for doing it - they are now dry at night after many tantrums and upset little girls for being wet, but it's worth it in the end knowing that they know it's not their fault - as I said, it could be a medical condition like I had as a kid but it's worth seeing it thru - Good Luck

Pip - posted on 11/25/2010

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My daughter was wetting the bed at 4 yrs almost every night. I brought some stickers and she was allowed to put one in the diary when she had stayed dry over night. The deal was if she could get 7 stickers in the diary in a row we would go shopping and she could pick out a dress. So the goal was 7 days/nights straight without wetting herself, it took about 4 weeks to get all 7 stickers in a row but she did it and was very proud of herself. She picked her dress and wore it non stop, refering to it as her trophy dress. She never wet the bed again after that. Good luck

EMMA - posted on 11/25/2010

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my oldest is 9 becca what your saying makes alot of sense i didn't think of either of what u said i will try the rewards chart we do encourage her to go to the toilet as often as possible we put her on the potty several times throughout the night.

Bonnie - posted on 11/25/2010

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During the day could be a problem like a bladder infection or something like others have mentioned. At night, it's a bit different. I've heard that it can take a few years (once potty trained) to stop wetting at night. I have son who turned 4 a month ago and although he is always dry during the day, he is constantly wet most nights, so we have him in pull ups at night.

Kate CP - posted on 11/25/2010

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I'd keep her in training pants and not regular panties until she can stay dry for longer periods of time. But I agree with the other ladies: see a doctor.

[deleted account]

I would check with a doc. A mom at my church had the same trouble with her little boy and it turned out there was a physical reason.

Laura - posted on 11/25/2010

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I'm with Jana on this--talk to your doctor or pediatrician about this. A bladder infection could be one cause as well as an under-developed bladder. Only a doctor will be able to give you answers that will help you create an effective course of action. In the meantime, go back to pull-up diapers as Jana suggested, until this issue is looked at by the doctor. Good luck!

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