how do i stop my two year old from throwing himself on the floor and kicking.

Jennifer - posted on 12/11/2008 ( 18 moms have responded )

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my two year old son has started throwing himself on the floor kicking when he doesnt get his way. i can deal with the crying part but the kicking is driving me crazy my five year old didnt do this so i dont know what to do to change it. i would really love some ideas if you moms out there have any for me. thanks for all your help ahead of time.

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Stacey - posted on 12/11/2008

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In my experience as a mom to 6, spankings in this case don't work. Think about it: he throws a tantrum because he wants something his way, and then if you spank him you're effectively throwing the adult tantrum because you want him to stop (you want it your way). Next thing you know, you have a kid that has learned that throwing themselves on the floor and kicking is the wrong way to get what you want, but hitting someone is the right way.

As long as a child isn't hurting themselves (or anyone else) a tantrum is just a tantrum, and it should be ignored. Once they calm down, you give them some love and they can move on. It's hard at this age- they have all the emotions we experience, and aren't able to handle or express them all in the right way.

Suzanne - posted on 12/11/2008

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This may seem crazy, but I quit looking at my son when he would do that. It started at 18 months, but it didn't last too long. He would have a tantrum, and I would turn the other way or remove him fromt he situation. I know it depends on where you are, but even in Walmart I turned away, and he quit.

Sarah - posted on 06/08/2013

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My son is turning 18 months old and is starting the same behavior. One day I was holding his hand and had a hand basket in the other with groceries while shopping at Walmart. All of a sudden i felt him have a falling sensation and gripped his hand tighter, thinking he had tripped on something. I realized he was then dangling from his arm in the attempt to throw a temper tantrum. As he was dangling for a few seconds refusing to put his feet back on the floor and crying in a tantrum state I reacted by tugging his arm lightly and saying "up" in a low but very firm tone. He then straightened his legs and stood up. He never made physical contact with the floor and had continued walking and cried for a little bit but calmed down after me telling him what a good boy he is for 'walking' in the store like a 'big boy' and gave him lots of approving smiles to show I was proud of him. I now walk hand in hand with him and when I feel him dropping down to the floor we just repeat the whole thing and he reacts consistantly, so that's what I do. He has since reduced the tantrums (probably because he realizes this behavior hurts his arm from doing it). People now tell me how sweet he is while we shop, I don't like to discipline him much but I have to say this definitely improved his behavior.

Rosanna-Lee - posted on 12/14/2008

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I've just gotten past that phase with my 2 1/2 year old. It's hard to just walk away and ignore him but it does work. The trick is that you cannot say a single word to him while he's freaking out and when he's done wait for him to calm down a bit and ask him if he's done. If he says yes and continues to be tantrumy, it's time for some alone time on the couch or on the corner of his bed or the step. You need to designate a time out spot and make sure that he know's he's not allowed to move until he's been quite and had some time to think about what he's doing. It does take a lot of time though and you cant expect it to just go away overnight. When a child falls into that phase, it takes time to excalate and likewise take's time to fall out of the phase.

Kathy - posted on 12/11/2008

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My son is 2.5 years old. He started trying that right at 2...the very first time in Target. I bent over him and told him I don't respond to tantrums and walked away, out of his sight (I could still see him though.) He stopped almost instantly. He's tried that several times again at home and I tell him the same thing everytime and walk to another room and go about my business. When he's calmed down I tell him to use his words and tell me how he's feeling. So far it seems to be working and he's become more expressive with language. Good luck!

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Riccardi40 - posted on 05/14/2013

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my 20 month old when he gets frustrated will throw a tantrum but he will let himself fall to floor, concrete, grass, carpet whatever. I cant let him crack his head on cement. Any suggestions. i have been when at home and he does it putting him in his playpen for 2 minutes and explaining it is not ok to act like that . He usually has his fits when, overly tired or hungry
thanks

Lucy - posted on 12/14/2008

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ignore him and walk away that's what i do when my 20 month old son acts like that.

Maggie - posted on 12/14/2008

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My daughters are all grown up now, 24 and 20, but when my youngest was 2-3 she started doing this. I hadn't had the problem with my oldest child, and I wasn't about to put up with it from my youngest. I could see that all my daughter really wanted was an audience. So I stood her up, told her that her behaviour was unacceptable in front of everyone and that she had to go to her room. I also told her that she had every right to be angry and upset, but throwing a tantrum was not the way to behave in front of everyone. She could go to her room and vent her frustrations there and come back down when she was in controll of her emotions. She stormed up the stairs, stomping her feet all the way. She went into her room and slammed the door shut. She ranted and raved and even threw a few toys around while she vented her anger. She then came out of her room and stood at the top of the stairs and asked if she could come back down. I asked her if she was ready to behave herself? She stood and thought about it for a second, went back into her room and slammed the door and vented a little more. The she came back out and said, "Mommy can I come down now, I will be good." So she was free to come back down. I later made her go back to her room and clean up the mess she had caused. She only had a couple of these melt downs over the next several months, because she knew she would have to go to her room to vent when really all she wanted was all eyes on her. It didn't take too long for her to learn to control her emotions and not let her temper get the better of her.

Kylie - posted on 12/13/2008

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My 2 year old did the same thing, U can try distracting him with something he likes to do,i.e drawing (when I worked in childcare this is what we were taught to do) but with my son I purely ignored it. The reason kids throw tantrums IS to get attention. When they realise that you are not responding they will (usually) just stop, and if not then try the distraction theory... Personally I dont believe smacking helps, this just gets the child even more wound up and you may find that he will try hitting you back and then what?

Erica - posted on 12/11/2008

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My son is 4yrs now and he had a horrible temper and used to throw himself on the floor and kick and scream and now my 22month old daughter used to do the same thing. With my daughter she used to get so frustrated and whip herself backwards and smack her head on the ground I would let her (only happened like 2 times) then if I was close when she would do it I would hold her arm so she would go down softly and as soon as she calmed down I would get to her level and tell her we use our words and reassure her that mommy will help or listen but we don't act like that. She still has little fits of screaming but she didn't throw herself down because we stayed consistant. I guess find what would work best for you and just do the same thing everytime and once he realizes he is not getting anywhere he will stop but he needs to be guided on how to act also. I know my son if you ignored him he was completely worse. So what worked for my daughter did not work for my son. Hope this helps...

Eloise - posted on 12/11/2008

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i taught my children to hit or kick their pillow when they felt angry for 2 reasons 1 they cant hurt themselves and 2 it doesn't hit back. when calmed down encourage the child to talk about why they felt that way it worked for me !!!!

Nikki - posted on 12/11/2008

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ignore him & go into another room. it drives them crazy. children don't like being ignored.

Tami - posted on 12/11/2008

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It usually helps if you alter his mind frame by introducing a different toy, or start playing with something of his and make it look really fun. I just took a box of toys out and asked him to find the aligator... Find the mirror... It was really fun! As long as you don't bribe them into it, and it is their decision to play with you, you just avoided a big ordeal you didn't need. 2 year olds seem to forget easily when you just switch gears. Some battles take a little longer than others, so keep trying. Tantrums usually happen when they don't get what they want or they are frustrated that you don't understand what they want. So invite him to play and see if that works. Good Luck!

Jo - posted on 12/11/2008

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I felt I should explain that you don't ignore them all the time only when they are little and throwing the tantrums. I read my response and thought I hope they don't think I ignored my children by no means did I I spent almost all my time with them playing with them. I Loved raising my 4 I loved every stage of there lives. Love is the key Love and never miss a teaching moment. good luck

Jo - posted on 12/11/2008

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I am 44 years old and so my children are almost all grown but from my experience with my 4 children the best remedy is to ignore them. pay attention to them when they are good and ignore them when they are throwing tantrums. even in the grocery store. I know this sounds harsh but they are looking for attention they don't care if it is good or bad, if you pay more attention to them when they are bad then they will continue to be bad to get the attention. the same works for the good behavior. I would much rather spend good time with them than bad. and Camelia is right they will stop the tantrums if you ignore them. Don't get me wrong I believe in discipline very strongly but make sure when you do need to discipline them you tall them you love them and give them hug's afterward. Tell them every day several times a day how much you love them Children and Teens need to know they are loved.

Susanna - posted on 12/11/2008

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When my 2 yr old daughter throws a fit like that...I give her a spanking (a couple of swats) or i will sit her in a chair and make her sit there for a couple of minutes....and it works! She is getting better!

Camelia - posted on 12/11/2008

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My son was into that when he was two but I started ignoring him when he threw his self on the floor and that led to him not doing it anymore because he saw that I was not paying him NO attention..

Elizabeth - posted on 12/11/2008

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My Daughter use to get so angry from two to three. There is no magic wand to wave to help your baby with his anger. I would look around see if it a safe place to get mad at and let her go. Let her get angry..she had a right to her feelings....she was mad...let her get mad. When she was done I would ask are you done. She would usually answer with a little nod and look down at the floor. I would then pick her up give her a big hug and life would go on like it never happened.( She was #3 of 4)

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