How do I talk to my son about being separated from his dad?

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Kayda - posted on 02/03/2014

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Well my mom and dad separated when i was 7. Is that what you mean? i was with my mom at a family member's birthday party and my dad called and said he was never coming back to our house. my mom told me and i was so hurt i hid and did not come out for the rest of the day. My point is do not tell him like that. try sitting him down and gently tell him the news. then bring him out for ice cream or his favorite food . if you did not mean that then try bringing him to his grandmas house or some place fun and then see how he does without his dad. ( try some books for other ideas).

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/31/2014

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2015

Have you taken him in to counseling?

And what are the terms of the separation, as far as visits go?

Is he having problems because of the separation? You say he's six and you've been separated a "few years"...So, how used to having a full family was he prior to the separation?

Jennifer - posted on 01/31/2014

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I have tried that but he is only 6 years old. He just tells me that he doesn't know. I think I may check out some books.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/31/2014

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So that's a whole different topic then.

Try "Son, is there anything we need to discuss about your feelings about this separation and what's going on?"

Jennifer - posted on 01/31/2014

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Thanks for the reply my knows that he has done nothing wrong. We have been separated for a few years now and his dad comes in and out of his life. I tried to let his dad know that he shouldn't do that. His dad and I never argued. He just left. We don't really talk to each other much now unless its about our son. There are days when he doesn't really care about his dad. Then there are days that he misses his dad. He gets sad. It makes me sad that he miss someone who doesn't see him as a priority. I know that he is young and won't understand until he is older. I try not to say anything and just try to do stuff so that he doesn't think about his dad.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/31/2014

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Honestly. He's not stupid, he knows you've been having problems.

"Son, you know Dad & I have been having some trouble with things lately, and we think it's better that we live apart for a bit. I don't know if we'll be moving back in together or not. We plan to take it one day at a time. You need to know that you'll be given an opportunity to stay with whichever of us you want. We'll probably try to keep you as stable as possible, so we may need to work out a schedule. Most importantly, YOU DID NOT DO ANYTHING TO CAUSE THIS. It is because your dad and I are having a hard time getting along, not because of anything you did"

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