How do I talk to women with children without being awkward to the kids?

KevinPeralta - posted on 10/23/2013 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Hi, I want to know how I could date a woman that has kids(or even an older woman) and not make it awkward for the children? Like is there a way to even approach a mommy? x__x;; i hope this doesn't sound weird...

P.s. I understand this website is aimed at women especially mothers... and while I am not a mother or a female... I am 21, and I am quite respectful. I hope none of this comes off as disrespectful towards any of you guys. I just wanted to get a woman's opinion without being awkward for me since I am pretty shy...

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KeRashawn - posted on 10/24/2013

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I will be honest and say that coming from a woman I have two kids myself. That dating a woman with kids are HARD because mom's tend to be OVERLY protective of their kids especially a single mother. She would want the best for her kids. I will just say that if you plan on dating a woman with kids and you get close with the kids, they start liking you and stuff and she's comfortable with you being around them, DONT expect it at all to be a short term relationship. Because she's now opening up not to just you but she's also letting her kids in on the situation also.

Queen Of My - posted on 10/24/2013

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Ps... In terms of hitting on women in general - compliments are always a good start - but nothing cheesy or over the top- it must be sincere - and don't do it constantly - but if you love her hair down - tell her - or if you have never met her before - comment on something she is doing wrather than the way she looks - like if you like the same song as her, or if she is reading a book you are interested in.... If you are shy, that's okay - don't try to be something your not or it will come off creepy. If you blush and get nervous - don't worry - an nice girl will be honored that you put yourself out there like that.
Keep it short and sweet - no lurking! This is a must!
And if you know her, a friendship is a good start but don't get stuck in "friend zone" make your move before she "doesn't want to ruin your friendship"

Good luck ! :)

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Stacy - posted on 10/26/2013

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I say if you are interested in a woman and she does already have children, be yourself. Women want to know how you really are from the get go, no secrets, lies along the way. To me I feel the main difference between most women with kids and those without, they are more mature. We look more for the family than ourselves, and we only want what is best for our kids. Just be respectful to her parenting style (women do not like being told they are wrong or how you would do things), if you see the children, dont be too stand off-ish, but dont be overly much with them either. Try not to make things awkward, just talk, play to them as you would any other child.
I say when you know you've met the right one, you will know. Hope you the best with your search!

Chantel - posted on 10/26/2013

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Even though you want mor maturity, I was always mature for my age, once I became a mom, I changed even more. So, maybe just a bit older woman with no kids is best? I grew up with a single mom, and I hated all her boyfriends. Or, it may turn into a happy little family. Also keep in mind, the dad may be in the picture still, so you'd also have to build a relationship with him. If you don't see eye to eye, mama may see that as a red flag...

KevinPeralta - posted on 10/25/2013

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To be honest what I had in mind wasn't just a woman with kids, it could be a woman 10 years older than me and no kids. I figured I just want maturity... I don't need someone who acts like they're fresh out of highschool... constantly contradicting themselves and being quite mean to others... Yet where I live that's sadly how many of similar aged women tend to act... I might just be a bit too judgmental on their actions though... I guess I am afraid to get stuck with a crazy girl. I once dated a girl when I was younger and she seemed to find it funny to inflict pain on others(I didn't notice this till she started dating me)... She would hit me hard for no reason and then just laugh... To the point she would sometimes kick me in my man parts.... and after a while I just got really mad and flat out told her to go find someone else to use as a punching dummy. I am a bit patient but I don't want to deal with that ever again. that's probably what got me a bit frightened...

KevinPeralta - posted on 10/25/2013

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Bleh I like a lot of things... I like fishing, video games(yeah still), I like to cook, I like to hike(though I am a bit out of shape as of late). There's no one I like as of late. The last girl I liked romantically well.. she friendzoned me and no matter what I did she just didn't like me like that. She liked "cute" boys, "Girly-looking" guys... like emo guys? And I guess I am not a person whose attracted to looks at first. I mean heck if she's "too pretty" I get very intimidated(not to say nobody isn't pretty enough... It's just I don't know some women look like pumped up life sized barbies and well... its too much). I hear from most of my guy friends that I seem to like the ugly girls and I really don't get "how" they're ugly(I can't really see it if anything). They think I am kidding when I am saying this... but I guess I don't go looking for every flaw there is... I mean for me, as long as she smells nice(perfume would be nice too), she has -great- hygiene, and she's nice then I don't care if she dresses like a hobo or what.

Queen Of My - posted on 10/24/2013

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You can tell! You just hesitate... Have more confidence. What do you like? Where do you meet girls? Shy guys are awsome! Lots of girls find that attractive.
Is there one in particular or are you looking in general?

KevinPeralta - posted on 10/24/2013

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Sadly I am always in the "friendzone". I am a bit shy, and too respectful soo I don't know how to directly ask a girl out and since I lack good intuition I can't tell when I should or shouldn't.

Queen Of My - posted on 10/24/2013

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At 21 I would steer clear of women with children. I know that sounds harsh but the fact is, it is extremely difficult being a parent - for anyone. It is even more difficult being a step parent. It is the most difficult being a young step parent. Of course if you already have your own child(ren) then that's different. You are already accustomed to waking up 3, 4, 8 times a night, you already know what it's like to eat, sleep, pee, shower and brush your teeth on someone elses schedule. If you don't have your own kids already, I strongly advise waiting until you are older to date someone with kids. It's nit fair for you - and ultimately not mom and baby either if you end up being temporary.
I know that sounds harsh. And I don't mean to be rude or disrespectful to you, I just really think you should wait.
And as far as you being on this site- you are more than welcome :) - no one will feel disrespected because you are male and don't have a child - the world could use more future dads like you :)

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