How do I teach my daughter right from wrong? Please help.

Kerrie - posted on 03/26/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

208

80

0

Right, here goes.



My daughter is almost 16 months old. I don't expect her to learn all right from wrongs as she is still very young, but she has started smacking. Mostly me and it could be my face or my arms. This is not acceptable. When I tell her "NO," she laughs at me and does it again. I really don't want to go down the route of smacking her as discipline, but I'm not sure how to teach her!!??



I have started to move her away from me and saying "NO" but she just follows me. I have also tried "WE DON'T SMACK MUMMY." She just laughs...



I know she doesn't understand, but surely I need to start teaching her early. Please help. Advice needed!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Amy - posted on 03/26/2011

4,793

17

376

Well, my son's a little older - 21 months. But started saying "no" with a little swat or swing while he says it - multiple times a day. Not okay. Daddy started a thing where every time he does it, he sits him in a chair and holds his arms down to his side[or hands folded on lap if son cooperates] and told him - you swat, you sit. And although he cried and screamed for the whole 30 seconds daddy had him in the chair, he didn't do it the rest of the day. For a few days he totally tested us on this. Tried again - chair time. He tries every now and then and if he gets that "gleam" in his eye we just say - you need chair time? "nope" and goes about his business. Took a few days, but son HATED being forced to sit. He wasn't in pain, we didn't spank [hitting for hitting doesn't make sense to me], and we didn't talk or try and reason until we were blue in the face. But- HE DIDN'T LIKE IT!! :) Chair worked for use. Took a few days of him testing, but

8 Comments

View replies by

Kerrie - posted on 04/01/2011

208

80

0

no i tell her we dont bite/smack.
it does seem to be slowly working moving her away

Amy - posted on 03/30/2011

4,793

17

376

life changes and we all have to deal with it, like it or not. doesn't mean that we can hurt others because we're ticked.

what have you been trying - if you're trying a few different things, probably confusing her. did you try sitting her in the chair while holding her arms at her side. Very stern but loving. this is NOT okay. Say OUCHY, NO! I hope you aren't literally saying "not acceptable". too big of words the meaning can get lost. they usually know ouchy.

Don't let her follow you. put her in the room and shut the door if you have to. She can cry for three minutes. Haul out tantrums for being shut in the room can be good - not locked and left alone, momma on the other side. When she comes out, say biting/hitting, this is what happens.

I don't know, have to find something or she'll just keep biting/hitting and laughing about it.

Kerrie - posted on 03/30/2011

208

80

0

have tried moving her away but she just follows me, she has also started biting a lot more often than she was.
am wondering if its because my partner lost his job so it has thrown her having him at home OR am i making excuses for her bad behaviour

[deleted account]

Take her hand firmly in yours and tell her not to hit. Then use her hand to 'show you' how to be gentle by patting/ stroking your cheek. It's not foolproof and takes repetition, but it helps a LOT!

Kerrie - posted on 03/26/2011

208

80

0

i agree amy hitting/smacking surely only teaches them its fine to smack. thanks for advice to u both will give anything a try

Candice - posted on 03/26/2011

1,721

18

305

i used a couple methods. one was to say "no hitting" and immediately move her to a spot saying "you don't get to play with mommy when you hit" and cut off all interaction for a minute. no eye contact, nothing. do it consistently...even if it's 5 times in a row. they do figure it out...if i want to play with mommy, i can't do that.

the other was actually my boyfriend's idea. teach her she can do "high 5" if she wants to hit something. "you can't hit people, but you can hit my hand like this!"
Between the two methods, it went quite well for us.

Medic - posted on 03/26/2011

3,922

19

552

I have a 14 month old and she does understand "no" and "don't touch that" and "bring that to mommy". They arn't dumb they get whats going on. My daughter has also been taught this since she could crawl. If I tell her to do something ie: pick up the food she threw on the floor, I will take her out of her highchair and show her, then take her hand and help her do it, then praise her for doing it. When she hits I sit her on the floor and tell her we don't hit and walk away. We just try to stay really consistant.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms