how do i tell my 10yr old daughter that the father she only knows as her dad is not her real dad

Barbara - posted on 01/06/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




My daughter who is now 10yrs old does not know who her real father is, He left and disappeared when she was about 9 months old and My husband has been in her life since the age of 2yrs old. She does not know him at all but only knows my husband as her dad as well as her siblings from my husbands previous marriage which I must say I was very blessed with them, because they treated my daughter no different and has never told her anything as well. I always decided that when I feel she was ready I would tell her and now at 10 I am not sure if she is ready yet. Her biological father has been trying to come into the picture and he is aware she doesn't know who he is and has respect my wishes in not telling her till she ready but he wants her to know, I am just scared of what this is going to do to her and don't know how to start a conversation like this to a 10yr old...please help need some input


Desiree - posted on 01/06/2014




I wish I had advice for you but we are in a similar situation and I'm curious as to the responses you will get. DH has raised his son from birth (he is now 12). SS doesn't know that DH is not his biological dad. SS's mom wants to tell him when he is 18. Why 18? I have no idea.

His dad isn't in the picture at all and is in and out of jail anyway so DH is the only dad SS will ever know.

I have no clue what is the right way to handle this. If it were my child, I would tell him when he is younger and not wait until he is 18 because it just seems like it would be harder on the child the longer you wait to tell him/her.

It's a very touchy situation and there will most likely be a ton of questions.

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