How do I tell my 8yr that her biological father is not around and is not the person she thinks?

Yvette - posted on 07/19/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter's BF was never around during my pregnancy nor when she was born. She has never met him nor have I talked to her about him. The only father figure she knows is my current boyfriend of 7 years. He has been with me since she was 9 months old and he is all she knows. She calls him dad and does not know he isn't her biological father. She is 8 now and I do want to tell her about her real father now before she gets older. But how do I go about bringing it up? Has anyone gone through this before and how did you approach it?
Please advise!

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JuLeah - posted on 07/19/2011

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I think it is many conversations. My daughter had an unusual beginning also.

I started with many conversations and story books about what makes a family ... and Aunt and Uncle might be raising a child, an older sibling, grandparents, adopted parents, foster parents .... there are moms and dads, two moms and two dads ... some kids live in hte city, some a hut, some the country ... you get the idea

Love is the key and it is all that matters

Then talk about the gentics aspect .... this kid is adopted, but has a birth mother and birth father ... these people are not the parents, as they are not rasing her/him, but supplied the gentic meteral

Then show her picture of your partner holding her as a baby, talk about how he loved her, and you, wanted to be part of your family, wanted to raise her and be her dad ....

Let her come to you with ... wait, then who is my birth father?

She will ask when she is ready for the information, and not before.

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I haven't gone through this. How I would go about it is by telling the truth from the beginning, so I hope someone else has some helpful advice for you.

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