How do I tell my children that a close adult friendship is over?

Christina - posted on 10/19/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Recently, I ended a friendship that was a long term close friendship. The friendship was so close that my children were calling them Aunt and Uncle and their kids were also close to my kids.
Now, my kids keep asking about them all. I don't know what to say. I realize now that this friendship is not going to bounce back it is over so there is no resolution in sight. My son is 3 years old and my daughter is 4 years old and they are asking when they will see them again. I don't know what to say and I don't want to be mean about it. Any suggestions?
Also my ex-friend is my sister-in-law's sister so she is in the family no matter what. My sister-in-law is not speaking to me because of this and my children are also asking about her. This is a mess! I know but I would love some outside advice.
Thanks

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Christina - posted on 10/19/2011

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Thanks! I hope so, it's horrible to go through and then to hear the kids ask about them is even worse!

Stifler's - posted on 10/19/2011

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It will probably just take time for them to get over it. They're only young they will move on :)

Christina - posted on 10/19/2011

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That's what I am hoping. It has been a couple of months now and they still are asking though so I'm just concerned because they are asking as if I am keeping them from my ex-friends...

Christina - posted on 10/19/2011

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Elfrieda,
No, it's not possible for the friendship to be mended unfortunately and that's why I'm having a hard time with my children. What I thought was just a break for a couple of weeks or even a month has turned into a hueg fight that I don't want any part of. There have been a lot of things said and done that have made the friendship dissolve. So I need to move forward without them and right now I am not lying to my children but I am not telling them that they are not going to be around ever.
They keep asking when they can see them and I keep saying some other time. So I guess that would be lying to them..I'm stuck

Elfrieda - posted on 10/19/2011

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Is it possible to patch things up with these ex-friends enough that you can be civil to each other, maybe even take turns hosting playdates for each others' kids? (without the parents interacting more than "howdy" as they drop the kids off and pick them up)
That might be the best you can hope for, and that your sister-in-law starts speaking to you again.
It's hard to give advice when we don't know the situation, but I wish you luck and wisdom!

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