How do I tell my kids that my boyfriend and I have broken up?

Vanessa - posted on 07/05/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi! I need a little bit of help. I am a divorced mom, with two daughters, ages 3 and 5. I have been seeing a man, long distance for about a year. He has met the girls and they love him! The BF and I have not been seeing eye to eye lately, and I think that I am going to have to break up with him. How do I explain this to the girls? Even though they don't see him all the time, they are always talking about him and like to call him on the phone. Their father is very involved in thier lives, as well as thier new Step Mom. The girls have been asking if BF is going to be thier Step Dad. How do I explain that he isn't going to be around anymore? Has anyone else been through this? What wil be the easiest way to tell the girls?

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Ev - posted on 07/05/2013

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Though I am glad that you had found someone whom your girls had liked well enough, how long did you date the guy before they met him? Its hard on little ones this age range to have adults come and go out of their lives often. At best, its better to wait a while before letting kids meet the new BF or GF. Kids ages 3 and 5 make quick connections to those they really like and in this case if they are very attached to him; this is going to be a big let down for them if they are expecting a step dad out of this. Its harder for them to understand why you and dad are not together but its more confusing if a BF or GF come and go out of their lives without an actual commitment. You have to be gentle in telling them that he is not going to be there anymore in words they can understand. There is no easy way to tell them that he won't be there anymore and it is going to make them upset and cry or be angry. I would suggest that before you introduce someone to them again; get to know the person well and make sure he is someone you want your kids to know for sure before they meet him. This will avoid those hard times of telling them this person won't be part of their lives no more.

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