How do I tell my son after in his 30's about his real Dad?

Maria - posted on 09/22/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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When about 13 I had a relationship with a my oldest son father who lived down the street for years I ended up pregnant once when I was 14 and had a awful experiance of a live birth abortion and had it was a girl than when I was 16 I got pregnant again but this time I kept it now my son is in his 30's and he was thinking of changing his last name a year ago to my maiden name because my xhusband just wasn't in his life who he was named after. But my other the good tip my new husband of 22 years had been the best Dad he could be to him, but of course that still his biological Dad. So I was thinking should I tell him the truth after all these years? So I did after he got married. Well to my surprise he doesn't believe me and felt like why tell him now or he does believe me and just is in denial. I don't want to push it either. The biological Dad I think wants to be a part of his life but the step Mom is the only one whose been talking to me about it and not so much him. Then recently he did talk to me breifly but didn't really explain why he just now why he wants to step up all of a sudden. What should I do? Should I just let things be or should I try to help it along? I don't know what the Dad really wants at this point in his life though? I just want my son to feel like I'm not ashamed of who he is and what I did and how he was conceived.

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Maria - posted on 09/24/2012

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Yeah your correct. I did that. Curiosity is why now after all these years and why the wife is so interested looks like she is more than he is?

Vicki - posted on 09/23/2012

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So if im reading this correct you did tell your son that your husband isnt his real father? And if im reading this correct your son didnt believe you?

As for the biological dad, your son isnt 5 he is a grown man I think that maybe you can say ok i have been talking to your biological father and he would like to meet you here is his number if your interested and leave it alone after that. Its up to him now to make the choice for himself. All you can do is just be there if he needs clarification on things. At this point i dont think you need to be really having long converstions with his bio dad either or his wife, what if your son doesnt want anything to do with this man?

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