How do I tell our kids their dad got someone pregnant during our year of separation?

Mommabird - posted on 01/30/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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We were married for 3 years and separated for almost a year, we rekindled our marriage after separation time. I learned that he had gotten a woman pregnant during the separation, a one night stand. Twin girls were born last Sept and he is now ordered to pay child support and etc. We have a 3 yr old son together and 9 yr old daughter from his previous marriage. We are about to start having visitation and having a hard time knowing how to explain to our daughter that she has two sisters. Btw, she is quite a dramatic and sensitive for a 9 yr old girl so its going to be very hard. HELP

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/31/2014

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She'll probably be just fine with it, then, Charlotte! Good luck with it ;-)

Mommabird - posted on 01/30/2014

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Her father and I got married when she was 5, and her little brother was born the next year. Since we were already married there wasnt any awkward explanation for her new little brother. Also shes has no contact with her biological mother since she was 5 when he got custody of her so shes called me Mom since weve been married. Youre example is pretty close to how I was thinking the conversation would go...because she has no sisters and has always wanted one...now she has two. haha. Thank you!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/30/2014

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I figured you had forgiven him and worked things out, otherwise you wouldn't be discussing visitation with your kids and the new ones.

So how did he tell his daughter about her new brother when your son was born? Because his daughter knows he wasn't living with you for awhile, so pretty much it'll go something like "You know when I wasn't living with Charlotte, and I wasn't living with your mommy? Well, I met another lady, and we made more sisters for you. Isn't that going to be fun?"

Its not like it's the first time the kid's been introduced to a new sibling from a different parent, after all. She'll hopefully see the 'fun' side of having sisters, rather than the "why does dad have so many kids with different mommies" side.

Mommabird - posted on 01/30/2014

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Thanks, but Im looking for options on how HE can word things when telling our 9 year old daughter. We already know this is mainly HIS responsibility we just cant find the right words that are appropriate for a 9 year old. And I guess I should add that I have forgiven him for the situation were in and we are all working together to make this a pleasant and civil one. Weve managed to figure out what to do and how to handle the situation...we just need advice on how to tell our daughter. Maybe someone here has been in a similar situation and can relate.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/30/2014

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Well, HE needs to tell his daughter that she's got two more siblings. And he needs to address her every question about it.

And as far as how much to tell the 3 year old...well, just start with he gets to meet his half sisters.

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