how do u unspoil a 1 year old baby?

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

since my son has turned one he been non stop crying. he don't have to want for anything he will still cry. he cant hold his own bottle he wont even try. He wont even meet u half way to take the food off the spoon. he rather cry then take the food. everyday we are in the car he will cry each n everytime the car stop. n he refuse to go to sleep if he not in his room with his door closed. I don't no wat to do anymore. I don't even want to take him out the house if I don't have to. I didn't spoil him the system did and now I have him back for good and have to deal with him.

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Jaie - posted on 04/06/2015

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My advice is patience and lots of love and attention. My niece is one and does the exact same things. She has been with her parents since birth though. I do not deem her as spoiled, but at this point in life children just want to feel loved and they want you to do things for them because many are teething, beginning to walk/crawl, and becoming independent. Its not that they are spoiled, they just need your support to get through this terrible time.

Jodi - posted on 04/05/2015

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It sounds to me like you need both patience and some better parenting skills. The system has not spoiled your baby, your baby has had a lot of turmoil in his life and needs a mother right now, with all the love and attention you can give him.

Firstly, it is normal for an infant to want to be fed by you, not necessarily have to hold his bottle. Feeding your child is bonding time, and given you have missed out on so much of your baby in his early years, you should try to use this time to bond with him.

I am confused about the taking the food off the spoon thing. Do you mean he won't feed himself off the spoon yet? That's not unusual. He is one. Continue to feed him from the spoon, but ALSO give him a second spoon to hold while you feed and encourage him to imitate you spoon feeding him. He will eventually have a go on his own.

With regard to crying when the car stops, this is pretty normal. What do you do when you get out of the car? You talk about not wanting to take him out of the house, but I am curious as to how you are handling him when you go places.

I'm not sure what the problem is with him not wanting to sleep unless he is in his room with the door closed. This is what he is used to, so it isn't surprising this is what he prefers. I am failing to understand why this is stressing you.

[deleted account]

he knowns who I am. H not have lived with me but I saw him 5 dys a week for a few hours. he didn't start all ting until the day he turned one. I hold him and play with him. I even try to get him to meet me some of the way to eat from the spoon but he wont he will just throw a tantrum. I have to bring the food all the way to him for him to eat.

Dove - posted on 04/05/2015

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He's a year old and has not been in your custody the entire time? Has it ever occurred to you that he may not yet be comfortable w/ you? Older infants/young toddlers are prime 'candidates' for separation anxiety, clingy behaviors, and tears even under GOOD home circumstances... It is likely he is behaving the way he is because he is incredibly insecure due to the massive disruptions in his life. Go ahead and 'coddle' him a bit for now (hold him and the bottle for every bottle) and gradually encourage him to do things on his own (like self feeding easy finger foods). I would also recommend some parenting classes or counseling to help you learn what is perfectly normal behavior and what may need more assistance to overcome, so you and your son can both be the best that you can be.

Jodi - posted on 04/05/2015

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The system spoiled him? So Child Protection have had your baby? How long has he been back in your care?

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