How do you answer a question about sex ??

Nina D. - posted on 08/24/2009 ( 119 moms have responded )

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My nine years old. daughter, came to me to day and asked me ;mamma what is sex ? I didn`t know how to answer her . If you were me how would you answer that question!!! PLEASE..

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knowing her age, she is probably thinking of the word "sex" as you are, but before going into any detail, make sure that is what she means. Ask her, in a non threatening way of course, where she learned the word and try to determine if she is talking about intimacy sex, or gender sex. If she read sex on something that was asking gender, the question could very easily be answered. If it is intimacy, just be honest while keeping the conversation age appropriate and in terms that she will understand.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/20/2012

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my teen daughter age 14 came to me and told me she was curious about sex any suggestions what to do im thinking shes to young but what she goes and does it should i get her on birth control just incase but i dnt want her to think she has to

Mylynda - posted on 09/02/2009

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My 10 yr. old asked me I was honest. We had a long discussion about sex and periods and all that good stuff. THey may not understand, I also gave her a book about puberty, that really helped

Nina D. - posted on 09/23/2009

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I just want to say thanks to all the moms for the replies, and their advice, it helped me alot to answer my daughter, once again thanks and God bless you all .

Jackie - posted on 09/01/2009

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My sister is going through this same thing... She found some really good books on the internet that break it down for them, but on their level. They read a little bit each night... The book starts out with puberty/changes in the body, then towards the end sums it all up. You could try doing that? Good luck

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Michelle - posted on 09/01/2009

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Sex to children at different ages can mean many things. To a child it could be the act of kissing. Given that she is Nine, I'd go with little bits of information at a time in general terms but always giving her truthful answers but limited to her understanding. She will stop asking when she is satified with your answers. She will most likely go off and process your answers then come back to you for more info or further explanation. If you keep it a 'secret topic of conversation' then she will respond to that by not necessarily asking you about other things.

Keep the conversation honest and without any embarrassment on your part. Trust me this honesty and openness will be your reward down the track when it comes to puberty, boys, condoms, pregnancy and drugs to name but a few.



I have teenagers 19 & 17 with a 12 and 9 yr old following.



A trick I learn't from a friend who is a child psychologist with the older two was to go for a drive to the shops or on the way to football and just ask them if they understand what you told them. In the car it is a neutral area cause they can look out the window while they think of the answer but can also ask you something without having to look at you.

It also gives you time to formulate an answer to another question they might ask.

Betsy - posted on 09/01/2009

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Honesty!! At 9 she can handle the basics. And you don't want her to learn it from her 9 year old friends that think they know. Call the body parts by their correct names and keep it simple. I have a 12 year old son and he will come home asking what is this or that, at least they are asking you! Keep the lines of communcation open and honest!

Shalene - posted on 09/01/2009

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I started talking to my daughter about things a little at a time. She's only 10 now and kind of young for her age still but she's seen things i have experienced during my periods or has seen me undressed and has asked some questions too. Start out giving minimal info and be very basic to begin with. They are usually satisfied with that in the beginning but the library has really good books on the subject and you can use those for visual aids when explaining the parts of the body such as overies uterus vagina and anything else and that way you can use the proper names for them while explaining basically the function of each part. Be honest and open about the subject. It's ok to be nervous but don't give her the feeling that you'd rather not talk about it because you could give her the impression that it's negative, dark or dirty and you want her to feel ok with coming and talking to you about things and you want her to feel positive about herself and her body and in control of herself/impowered about herself. If not, she could turn to others for the info and most likely get the wrong ideas or wrong info all together. Good luck

Desiree - posted on 09/01/2009

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You could just start out simple at first and just say, "It's something Mommy's and Daddy's do to show their love for eachother." Some kids are satisfied knowing that for awhile.

Barbara - posted on 09/01/2009

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My son was 5 the first time he asked me where babies came from---more specifically how they got in there and how they came out. I told him I would let him know when I figured out how to explain it to him. I actually purchased a book and read it to my kids. It was basice and explained what/how things happened without getting graphic. Being a single mom, I try to be as open with them as I can be when they come with questions, otherwise they are going to ask someone else and I can't control what information they get that way.



It is uncomfortable talking to my kids about these subjects, but at least I know they are getting the right info.

Michelle - posted on 09/01/2009

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I agree with Jackie , Keep it honest and age level. There are several books out there that will talk to the girls about their body and the changes going on. My daughters have one and they absolutely love it. I knew I had to get it when my oldest daughter had to write a paper in first grade (only a paragraph long) and she got to chose the subject. She chose the human boday with a focus on puberty. She is now in the 6th grade

Tamara - posted on 09/01/2009

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I have always been super honest with my sons about what sex is. I would explain watch for the wiggling or the discomfort and stop there, or ask if I answered their question if so stop of not continue.



Now days it seems with the media its being brought in to our lives earlier and earlier.



It may be something she is wondering about the word as others have suggested it may also be she is really interested in knowing.



One thing we do is keep the topic open so the kids know that it is ok to discuss so they do come to us with any questions, its better they get the information from me then from their friends like I did ;) good luck

Tamara - posted on 09/01/2009

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Honestly with age appropriate information. Don't give too many details unless she asks for them.

Rosary - posted on 09/01/2009

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i have always been very honest about that subject with my kids....everytime i try to explain something about it they say "ewwww mommy you're gross, stop saying that" i continue and i tell them sometimes bad people will try to get you to do those things too....i open their eyes to everything in the real world; unlike them, i was never 'prepared' for what 'sex' could do.

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Open and honest. From day one. And I do mean that. My son is 10 and we have been discussing sex for years already. Everything needs to be age appropriate, but I really don't think that there is a time that is too early if you present it on their level. A few months ago, we were talking and he told me that one of the boys was scared because a girl was saying she was going to take him and tie him down in her bedroom and have sex with him. After discussing THAT with my son and explaining that no one should ever be able to threaten anyone else like that (and that the word for that was "rape"), I called the involved parents and filled them in on the situation. Needless to say, two other children had "the talk" that night. But, if my son wasn't so comfortable about talking to me about ANYTHING, that conversation would have never happened.

What is age appropriate for your child? Only you can decide. But you have to realize they are aware of much more than you think. We have had conversations about abortion, erections (unwanted and wanted), periods, menopause, and many other topics that I didn't know about when I was ten. All of these questions came from him based on information that he saw, experienced, or was told about. You just want to make sure that he/she is coming to YOU for their information. Schools have a different agenda than when I was young, and the playground is a terrible environment to learn these things. That way, you can involve your information and morals together in the discussion.

Sherrian - posted on 08/31/2009

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Ok, thats good she asked u & not 1 of her friends so she won't b misinformed. My kids r around the same age & we had the "SEX" talk 2 yrs ago. I just was open & honest and stated the facts, but 1st I asked them what they knew about it. U would b surprised how that opened the lines of communication. So that kind of let me know how far I can go n the conversation. & please don't use nicknames for private parts, b/c they won't get the full meanig of "SeX".

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Be honest with her... keep it short and simple.. its something growns up do to show how they care about it each other..

Britnie - posted on 08/30/2009

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I would be honest and don't lie that will make them want to know more and another thing is if you don't tell them they will find out from there friends!!! I grew up not knowing anything and when I asked I got in trouble. and my self and husband said that we would talk about it togeter and be honest. casue they will all find out some how.

Doreen - posted on 08/30/2009

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my son at 3 asked me and i told him a boy and girl is sex. that satisfied him. when he became ur daughters age they know more then u think answer them truthfully. they hear things from older kids or even kids in there grade. they could surprise you. just dont get to graphic unless they start telling u things.

Traci - posted on 08/30/2009

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I first want to start by saying you are not alone. My oldest daughter starting asking questions about that age because they hear things in school. The first thing I would that I would tell your daughter is that you will never lie to her...she will remember that down the road when it's really important. The second thing is that when I told my daughter, I told her that this was JUST between us and that she was not aloud to tell her friends because that is their Mommy's place. The third thing I told her at that age is it is something 2 people who are very much in love do to have make a baby. I know this is not completely the truth, but it's not a lie either lol. Then of course she wanted to know how and my suggestion is you take it step by step and see how much she can handle and go from there...myy daughter wanted to know everything, so that's where we went. Their last question is always "did you and Daddy do that?" which is awkward, but you have to be honest. The key to all of this is being completely honest with her because she will come to you with questions instead of her friends...and that is very important. My daughter is almost 18 now and in college and she has communicated with me about EVERYTHING all through hig school through this point and I believe that is because of the way we started when she started asking questions...I told her I would never lie to her and to always feel she could come to me with anything and she has done that. The key to great communication is just to be honest...tell her what she's ready to hear...age appropriately, but be honest. Good luck! : )

Tina - posted on 08/30/2009

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be honest keep to the facts and get a good book for the childs age to help both of you . if you can be honest and casual then it wont be dirty or horrifying after all its nature . i was brought up with many secrets and mysteries sex being one of them whatever you do and say as your child grows remember they will remember your wise words and pass it on to friends and their own children in time. your child trusts you to guide and inform them so dont worry give it your best shot your the best person your child can come to. good luck

Kathy - posted on 08/30/2009

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i have 3 grown son's of my own. well as far as your question go's this is what i did. my boys would ask me a question about sex, i would ask them what they knew first, then i would correct any miss information they told me. if there was more they wanted to know i would answer those questions. depending on their age you dont have to allways go into great detail, but be correct with what you tell them and dont be embarresed about it. just be truthfull.

Debbie - posted on 08/30/2009

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I just bought the American Girl book called The Care and Keeping of You to read with my daughter who just turned 10. It has been recommended to me by several moms. I am going to read it and then give it to my daughter to read, then we can discuss it or any questions she might have. Goodluck!

Christina - posted on 08/30/2009

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My daughter is 8 and we have talked about sex already. The biggest thing is just give very simple answers. Thats really all they need at this age. I explained sex is how a mom and dad get a baby. And she was ok with that answer. We have always had talks though. There is a book out there by american girl and it talks about the body it changes and everything a little girl needs to know about to become a women. The most important thing is to keep her comfortable with comming to you with questions.

Carla - posted on 08/29/2009

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First you ask her why she is needing the information. One of mine ask me the same thing and they just wanted to know because they had seen it on a sports registration.

Sex M or F . some times it is as simple as that.

If it is more than that I still think you need to determine why she wants the information and remember to always keep it age appropiate. Talk to your daughter in a lighthearted manner. Asking her what specific information...again where did the interest of sex come from,a commercial or did it come up in conversation friend with a friend. Be truthful but dont be blunt.

Lydia - posted on 08/29/2009

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I was taught by my mom that when a child ask a question it is time for them to know. I was always open with my daughters and answered the questions that they asked correctly and then we discussed what they did not understand after. When they got older they always told me that I gave them too much information and to that I would respond "I'd rather you have all the information to make the correct choice."

Ayesha - posted on 08/29/2009

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before you explain yourslf to her. ask her what she thinks it is and listen to what she says. then you will know how far into detail youhave to go. allow her to be free with what is going on in her head. this will give you a good chance to find out where she gets he information from and it also can open her up to be able to talk to you about other things

Catherine - posted on 08/29/2009

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When they're young, a good explanation is that sex is whether you're a boy or girl. When you fill out a form, it says,"SEX". You put "M" for male if you're a boy, and "F" for female if you're a girl. Sex is whether you're a boy or a girl.

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Tell them truthfully what it is. Sex is a completely natural part of life. knowing the differences between a male and a female and the body parts is important for her to understand and how they get used when in a loving and caring relationship. Use your judgement as to what your family values are and go from there. If you think it is something that should only happen between married people teach her that. If you think it is okay to happen at a certain age, but she needs to be in a relationship where she is sure she loves the person teach her that. It is up to you to decide what is right and wrong based on your family and your morals of what is right and wrong. Tell her at a level she will understand appropriate for her age, but Don't under estimate what you think she already knowsand her capabilities for understanding what you are saying. She has obviously been exposed to it in some manner through school or friends, find out what she thinks it is and redirect the things that are wrong so she knows the truth. She will react to sex the way you do. If you show hesitation about the subject, so will she, if you do not, she won't. This is a subject you should not be afraid to talk about. Be very involved with these conversations, The more you talk about it and show her your feelings on it, the more she is going to be willing to share with you about her own encounters as time goes on.

Ruth - posted on 08/29/2009

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I always explained to my children that it was a natural thing that happened between two people who loved each other and got married. I always emphasized to them that it was wrong and unnatural outside of marriage. I don't ever remember explaining the specifics. The important thing is to keep the communication channels open so the children feel confortable coming to you for answers.

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I had a similar however more uncomfortable situation with my 8yr old this past June she came home from school & asked "Momma what is a penis?" although I was mortified I tried not to "lose it" I asked her "what makes you ask" & she said one of her friends at school told her she put her hand down her boyfriends pants & felt his penis (this is 2nd grade--I was not prepared to start having these conversations in 2nd grade)
I told her "what" a penis is on a male is similar to what we have as females but that it is also how a man & woman who love each other make babies--we actually talked for about 2 hours at that point & I tried to make her as comfortable with asking what she needed to ask [all the while my heart breaking at how "grown" my baby sounded]

you can check out Oprah Winfrey's link as well she had a guest on a few months back who spoke about what age is the right age to have life & sex talks with your child, sorry I dont remember the guests name but it is a show i watched with my daughter so she wouldnt feel "uncomfortable"

Best Of Luck & know your not alone!

Tabi - posted on 08/29/2009

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I have 4 girls the age 14, 11, 8, and 5. I remember when I was growing up I never got the "sex talk" from my parents. Everything I learned was from school and not always the truth or I would find myself in situations where I would be embarresed because boys would make nasty comments about things and I had no idea what they meant. I decided that I wasn't going to do that to my girls. I wanted them to know the truth and feel comfortable with asking me any question and being open with me. I was extreamly shy as a kid and would have never talked to my parents about those things but I think part of it was because they didn;t talk to me about it. I had some things happen to me when I was a little girl that I was embarressed to talk about so I never told anyone! I don't ever want my kids to go through that either. So to make a long story short please talk to your kids answer her questions and be honest and remember even though it may be uncomfortable at first if you show her that you are comfortable talking to her about it then she will come to you again instead of feeling like your embarressed and her being embarressed to ask a question next time because she will know it made you feel uncomfortable. I tell my girls all the time that they can ask me any question they want or talk to me about anything and if I don't have the answer then I'll find it. I feel that I have a very strong bond with my girls because I am very open about it, and I have answered a few embarresing questions but I also know whats going on in my kids lives and where they are learning it. My 14 year old has already kissed a boy and she came to me and told me that! I don't think she would have done that if I wasn't so open with her. Also remember to talk to her how inportant it is to not ever put herself in a situation where she is alone with a boy because they will say and try anything to be able to have sex with her. I hope this helps!

Dionne - posted on 08/29/2009

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I asked my parents the same question when I was nine years old. The answer they gave me was simple; "It's when a husband and wife come together and express their love to eachother". Now of course I had more questions (that was just me) so my mom and dad got a book from the library that explains the anatomy of a man and a woman....they gave me the answers I was seeking at my level. I am thankful for their honesty.



I know this is not a topic that is easy for any parent to discuss with their child/children, but if your daughter is old enough to formulate the question, she is old enough for and answer (don't go over her head). It's better that she is coming to you for the answer rather than getting if from the streets (her little friends at school, etc)...

Rosemarie - posted on 08/29/2009

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Somehow I think at this age, you might not have to do anything other than poise the question back to her. Ask her what she thinks sex is? Sometimes they have their own idea and of what it is and you can have a discussion based on that. The age lends itself to the discussion. If she says she doesn't know and that is why she is asking. Ask her why it is important to her to know about sex? What does she think of when she thinks of that word? Did the idea come from friends or from TV? By questioning her you have a foundation to work with as to how you approach the discussion. She might need less information then what you were gearing up to tell her.

Glenda - posted on 08/29/2009

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i am a mum of 10 7 boys & 3 girls & i found it was best to be open & honest with them no matter what there ages

Sonia - posted on 08/28/2009

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Honestly. You don't have to go into drastic details. At her age, she is just probably wanting to understand the word. Explain to her that it is when 2 people who love each other and are married show each other just how much they love each other. Then say, "when you get a little older I will share with you more details about the word. That way you can understand it a little better." If she continues to want details, discuss it with her with the help of a library book for visual understanding, something tasteful. If you don't let her see it rattle you, she will always feel comfortable coming to you for advice or when she has a question or something to tell you. If you shut her down now, you could possibly be severing the ties of communication with her and then she will only find out in other ways.

Maureen - posted on 08/28/2009

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def be honest but simple...not too involed....kids know when you aren't being honest and will keep asking more questions, but they don't want a long drawn out explanation either...short, simple, and to the point---sex is a physical way two people express thier love for each other ....if she wants more, like kissing and hugging and touching each other...usually the first answer will be enough at that age, she probably heard someone talking in school and just wanted to know what it meant

Brenda - posted on 08/28/2009

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Hi I have an 8 yr old girl and a 14 yr old boy. I would start out by asking her what she thinks it is. It's better to build on what she already does know and correct what she doesn't. And while I agree you need to keep the words used appropriate for the age, I would recommend against using any words that aren't the appropriate ones for any body parts you talk about. My daughter knows she has a chest and one day will have breasts. For anything lower we still just call them privates or backside or front. They are aware of their bodies and with the open media we have now it isn't reasonable to think they don't know more than you think. As long as your are honest and can put any discomfort or embarrassment you feel about this discussion behind you it will allow you to still know whats going on in their lives as they hit the teen years. And if you don't have an answer to a question be honest about it and tell her you will either find the answer or take her to her GP if it's a little more detailed than you think you can handle. We did this once with our son when he had a change in his body he didn't understand and that myself or my husband couldn't explain. It gave him a great sense of relief to know he had someone who could help find the answer even if it wasn't one of us. Hope this helps.

Jessica - posted on 08/28/2009

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i am soo with you!!!! my 8 yr old daughter just askd me a few days do you have to have sex to get babies in your belly? and did you and daddy have sex to have me nad tyler( here baby brother). i answered as honestly as i could without giving away too much info i askd her what she thought sex was and based the amount of info i gave her on that. hope this helps somewhat

Jenn - posted on 08/28/2009

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My daughter is going to be 15 next month.... already been there and my other is nine, she hasn't asked yet..... but keep it simple..... it is what two people who love each other do to share their love..... 9 times out of 10, especially at her age it should be sufficient advice...... if for whatever reason she seems to know more and asks more, follow her lead, again she doesn't need to know more then necessary... so let her lead and properly inform her if she has been misinformed.... and first and foremost BE HONEST.... NO MATTER WHAT...... hope this helps.....

Pamela - posted on 08/28/2009

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try telling her that is a way adults share their love for each other. They really don't want the gory details and is she does she will ask more direct questions. Good luck. I've been there 4 times with my sons.

S. - posted on 08/28/2009

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answer her honestly then at least you know she's getting the right answers, other then picking thing's up off there friends.
my litle girl said to me the other day "is it true u can only have a pariod if you've had sex"her friend had told her this and she said it was true because her friend read it in a book.
my 10 year old pick's up alsorts from the play ground come's and ask's me out right i'm so glad she feel's she can talk to me and i always tell her the truth some time's i just try and dampen it down a bit to suit her age, xx

Deb - posted on 08/28/2009

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Oh, I forgot to say that there was a little book we used ~ it was basic, "God made a man and woman with special parts, sort of like a puzzle, and they fit together in a special way." Simple, truthful, but not gross. After we had read the book and answered all the questions, one of the twins said, "We think that's gross and we're going to adopt!" HA! BTW ~ when one married @ 24, he was still a virgin, and his twin (how is not married) is also a virgin. What a blessing! They know the importance of saving that gift for their bride.

Deb - posted on 08/28/2009

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When our twins were 8, one asked the same thing. I asked, "What do you think it is?" and waited for his answer ... "A man and lady take off their clothes and kiss and stuff." I told him that was part of it, but not all of it. Then I said, "And when you are a bit older, we'll talk more about it. Just know that you don't have to think about it right now." He knew that we would get back to it when he was older bec. that's what we always did.

For instance, when they were 4, I got pregnant with our third son, so I told them we were going to have a baby. "Well, where is it?!" "It's inside mommy right now." "Well, how did it get there?" "Daddy helped me put it there." "Well, what did he do? Push it in your back?" "No. God gave mommy and daddy a special way to get the baby in there so it's safe while it grows." And that satisfied them.

We also made it very clear that they could ask or talk to us about ANYTHING ~ and if Mommy or Daddy said, "Will you remind me about that in the car (or at home)?" they knew it was a topic to discuss in private, away from others. And, we would talk about it privately.

Hope this helps!

Rosanne - posted on 08/28/2009

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I"m a grandma, so that is my perspective. It is important to have a sense of humor about all this. When my son was about 8 or 9, he was reading one of those books he bought through the school. It was a good book, so I am not faulting it. He was reading intently and then looked up and said, "Mom, what is a a douche bag?" So I went into a very scientific and detailed description of what a douche bag was. But he looked at me quizzically, like it was not making any sense. Then I said what I should have said in the beginning: "read me the sentence." Well, the character in the book was calling someone a douche bag. He did not need the description I gave him. He needed to know that it was an insult and probably called to mind a wrinkled old lady. Boy did I learn a lesson. Also, it was not totally embarrassing because we had been open with him all along. We got a book that described sex on a 4-year-old level using illustrations that were paper cuts. It talked about and showed animals doing it and puppies being born and nursed, etc, before it talked about humans. In other words, it put sex in context. I do not know what happened to that book, but it helped us as well as our son get over that first hurdle.

Marion - posted on 08/28/2009

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I agree with Jackie! Then you can also pick up a few books to help you along.And always tell her its what a husband and wife do because they love each outher.and want to have kids.Its just a question to her.

Vicky - posted on 08/28/2009

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I have an 8 year old daughter and a new partener who comes occasionally. The other week when he came she told me " Don't be having sex while we are sleeping at grandmas" So i asked her what she thought sex was and I got the shock of my life "Its where the man puts his willy in the ladies fanny" So I just calmly said " Where did you learn that" She said "we did a lesson at school on it" so I explained a few rules of being old enough etc and we left it at that. Tell your children before they tell you its a disgrace that at 8 year old children are being taught things so early, they aren't kids for long enough nower days.

Annette - posted on 08/28/2009

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There are some great books that you can find at your local library about sex for toddlers and kids. They helped me alot. Good Luck.

Jackie - posted on 08/28/2009

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Oh I also wanted to mention that it's my opinion that you should use the actual words for the male and female parts as opposed to making up nicknames. I think it makes it easier for them later when they start hearing those words to know what it actually is. My son says "penis" and "vagina" without skipping a beat every time he has a question.

LAKECIA - posted on 08/28/2009

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Just being honest but not to forward. Be sure to use age appropreiate words and phrase.

Jackie - posted on 08/28/2009

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When my son asked last year (at 8 years old) how you make a baby, I at first felt like I didn't want to tell him, but then took a moment to remind myself how detailed he likes answers to be, so I said to him "are you sure you want to know? It's kind of gross" to get in touch with his "boy" and "embarrassed" sensibilities, and he was like "yeah i still want to know", so I told him no frills. I made it clean and quick, a sentence or two, and when he was like "ew" and changed the subject, I figured that was all he wanted for that moment. We did come back to it later with more questions and clarification (when he asked), and it's become easier to talk about it.

Jane - posted on 08/28/2009

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My daughter was the same age and asked the same questions. We told her the truth, with the correct anatomical words. She already knew that her body was changing and we had gone through the "what to expect" with her. We just explain that it was a natural part of growing up and that it was something that she could come to us with questions about at any time.



We explained that not everyone would be comfortable with her questions and that because of this she may get information that is not necessarily correct. We told her that some people may get silly, others may tell her strange stories like :the stork brings babies, etc. We also told her that it was a private matter, just like certain parts of her body are private, talking about those parts is also private.



My dd is very into medical things so anatomy and such is not shocking, so I think our talk was wells suited to her. I think knowing your dd is the best way to assess how to start the conversation and also when to stop if she has heard enough!

User - posted on 08/28/2009

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having 2 boys who are now in their 20's, I have already dealt with this subject. so I can offer you some insight into how I handled it, as I am pleased with the outcome.I agree with the posts here that I have read in that honesty is the most important thing for her to get from you. conversations like these and how comfortable you are, and how comfortable you are able to make her while having them, will set the foundation for the relationship you will have with your daughter for the rest of her life. Your attitude and morals about sex will effect how she views it in the future too. Be greatful that she feels close enough to come to you with these questions. There are age appropriate books that you could read with her, or you could give her an age appropriate book like that on the subject and let her come to you with any questions she may have after she reads it, as my mom did with me so very many years ago. The book may also be a better way of explaining it, as you dont have to search for age appropriate words to try and answer the questions she may have. She could also use this book to show her friends that may be telling her untruths about sex so that she would be able to show them the truth rather then them being misinformed. In any case, it is always best to read the book before giving it to her so you can be prepared for the questions that may arise based on what information the book gives her. In conversations with my sons during those growing up years, I explained sex to my sons as being the most intimate way of expressing your love to the very special person in your life. I emphasized to them that although sex can certainly be had with any willing partner, in love or not, that making love with, or having sex with, a partner who you feel that love and emotional connection with is the greatest sex of all. I am proud to say in using this way of dealing with it, that both my boys had a solid relationship with the girls that they were with for their first times, and both boys were able to talk with me about it when it happened for them for the first time. I wish for you as close of a relationship with your daughter as I have with my sons - best of luck to you Nina!

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