HOW DO YOU BALANCE 2 KIDS, HUSBAND, AND A HOUSHOLD WITHOUT CRACKING UNDER PRESSURE?

Chanel - posted on 01/18/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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IM 21 WITH 2 WONDERFUL CHILDREN. KIMORA 5 AND JULIUS 2 1/2 MONTHS. IM NEWLYWED AND LEFT MY COMFORTABLE HOME UNDER MY DAD IN CALIFORNIA TO BEING ALONE WITH MY CHILDREN AND HUSBAND IN TEXAS. IM JUST WONDERING HOW DO YOU BALANCE EVERYTHING? IM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO KEEP THE KIDS ON SCHEDULE AND KEEP THE HOUSE CLEAN WHILE TRYING TO TEND TO A NEWBORN. ON TOP OF THAT MY HUSBAND IS VERY DEPENDENT ON ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM. HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR MAN HAPPY WITHOUT IT INTERRUPTING YOUR TIME WITH THE KIDS? ANY ADVICE?

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Jodi - posted on 01/18/2013

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Tell your husband to grow up. You are not his mother. That would be a really good start. Sorry, but you should not be doing everything for him, and he should not be expecting it. Not only that, but he should ALSO be helping you with the children or with the house (or both). It isn't up to you to balance everything, it is up to you BOTH to work as a team.

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Mardi - posted on 01/19/2013

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I wrote lists.

I had 3 under 5 and my husband was in the army and always away.

I made big lists, I never panicked if I didn't finish it all, just put it onto the next days lists.
I crossed things off as I did them, to get that sense of accomplishments. As extra things popped up during the day, I added them to the list and crossed them off when they were done.

When hubby gets home, he can also check the list to see if there is anything he can do to help, and add his things to the list if its easier to train him this way.

I do think he should be able to look after himself pretty well and not have to rely on you too much, but if he does, then he should in turn be doing more things for you.

It can also show how much you have done, come the end of the day when half the list is crossed off.

This also allowed me to keep attrack of everything.

The magic housework fairies aren't coming to help, and your kids wont care if their clothes are ironed or if the washing/vaccuuming/dusting etc waits for another day. Your kids may not remember the time you have spent with them, but they will remember you were always there for you, that constant they need in their life, so things can wait while you enjoy your kids growing up. Its amazing how many things you can do less frequently with little impact on the bigger picture. Have a cooking day, get ahead on meals and snacks, have a friend over to keep you company and have coffees while you knock over a few things, it wont feel like work if your enjoying good company at the same time, sharing a laugh or two,

Michelle - posted on 01/19/2013

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Exactly what Jodi and Firebird said. Tell your husband that you are his WIFE not his slave or mother.

Your man should be happy if you're happy and if you are putting all this pressure on yourself then you're not happy.

Firebird - posted on 01/18/2013

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Your husband can start pulling his own weight around the house, that's how you avoid cracking under the pressure. You're a team, you're supposed to support each other.

Cecilia - posted on 01/18/2013

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If you find out let us all know.

The truth is, sometimes things wont get done.Try to make a schedule and see if it works. tweak it as needed. The time when Kimora is at school would be the perfect time to get as much done as possible. Strap the baby into a snugglie ( i don't know what else to call it., you know the lil front pouch for babies?) That can be your biggest life saver with a little one. They are close by and it allows you to get some stuff done. I would suggest getting one that can go on your back though because this will even allow you to cook while the baby is strapped to you. don't leave her in there all day but 30 minutes isn't going to do any harm. When the baby is asleep, run and do as much as you can quietly. This is when i get showers.

My biggest moto in life is my dishes won't know i ignored them all day- my babies will. Keep that in mind. A few dirty dishes in the sink for a few hours isn't going to make the world crash in. Do what you can within reason. Don't beat yourself up over what didn't get done. No one i know does it all every day.

If you're really having a hard time, let your husband know that you feel like you're going to crack and you would like if he could do some of his things for himself. He's a grown man and you're taking care of 3 people already. You're only asking him to take care of one.

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