Reagan - posted on 01/19/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )
I am divorced my ex has borderline personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder among probably other undiagnosed this is what is diagnosed . I did have a therapist tell me off the record she feels he leans more toward a sociopath and is a pathological liar.
after a 4 year long separation and 6 months divorced took a couple years to get a divorce because he took off. He still rules our lives and creates disruption. Legally he never wanted visitation so the paperwork says visitation to commence when he desires and sets a schedule. So he refuses to set a schedule and will visit maybe once a month very sparse and always at my home. He will text me about every other day which doesn't help her at all. My issue is my 4 almost 5 year old has a lot of emotional issues from this she cries, has anger/rages used to have night terrors (have stopped) and she talks about him and misses him every day, she draws the same pic everyday of us three with hearts. I feel in a loss what to do. I tell him all the time to be consistent and he refuses he will say he is going to visit and no show no call nothing and she is devastated, I have begged him to stop because she is so hurt by all this. She thinks he is perfect because she doesn't spend time with him she has him on a pedestal She takes her anger out on me and her brother and sister because we are the ones around. There have been periods of 6-8 months where we have heard nothing from him no communication at all. Then he will resurface with some great change he claims to have and do the same thing again and again probably about 5 times now. So we are in another period where he is starting to completely ignoring her again. Still texting me every couple days how he is going to call her or he will see her soon note I have no intimate relationship with him and haven’t for over 3 years. I never initiate a text to him but I do reply. How do I cope and what can I do for her. I mean I can't stand him because he does these things to my child but I have spent all the holidays with him this year it’s the only way she will see him to invite him. I am always helpful to him because it is the only way she will have a dad. By helpful I mean waving 7k in back child support so he doesn’t go to jail. With this behavior he says she will understand when she is older and if I do not basically accommodate his current system she will hate me. How do I handle this person I don’t know what to do anymore. And no I can’t go pay for a lawyer or therapy. Single Mom I did all my own divorce paperwork and represented myself if that tells you anything. Things are better now financially but still.