How do you deal the fact that your husband wants to move the family (you and a 2 yrs old boy) from greece to usa ?

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Jane - posted on 07/31/2011

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I think you need to sit down and consider all the positives and all the negatives of both situations based on things you know are definitely true and then make your choice. Most of us are afraid to leave a comfortable life for an unknown new life, but we still do it all the time. The important thing I think would be to do my research to gather as many facts as I can before deciding. And while you might be leaving a good life behind in Greece, it is possible that you might be going to a good but different life in the US.

Have you met his parents at all, so that your fear of having your life invaded is real? If you don't know them this may be an unfounded fear. OTOH, you need to talk to your husband to see if his problems with his parents were real, not just a case of his being young.

Is there any chance that you could make an agreement with him that if you go and things don't work out after a specific time, say a year, that you all could return to Greece? Another possibility would be for him to go check out the job to be certain it is what he wants, and then you and your son follow a month or so later.

And is it required that you live in the same building as his parents? That can be a blessing, too, if they are wanting to help care for your son so both you and your husband can work. And the fact that you would be in separate apartments is also a plus. Sharing the same living quarters under the same roof is very difficult, but having a space completely to yourselves but near family can be a different and good situation.

I do know that my father, who was raised in Chile and is fluent in Spanish, moved our family from the USA to Venezuela because of his job, even though my mother spoke only English. He did at least have her blessing in that she felt life with him in a strange place would be much better than life without him. And the end result was that she made some wonderful friends who are still her friends 40 years later, we all learned about a different culture, and we developed a greater appreciation of what it means to be citizens of the USA.

No one can make the decision for you but if you weigh the pros and cons you may be able to consider this an adventure that is worth taking.

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Jane - posted on 08/01/2011

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I also have lived along Long Island Sound (but on the Connecticut side) and I have to say that summers were absolutely idyllic and autumn and spring were beautiful. However, be prepared for crowding and for winter. The snow is gorgeous when it first falls, but along about February it is no longer any fun.

IRENE - posted on 08/01/2011

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ahhhh girls i waan athank you today..you helped me a lot..i think i am gonna try it and see what will come off...

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/01/2011

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LOL, well you can come visit me in Mass.

I have never been overseas either. Greece has always appealed to me for a place to visit. I am sure it is beautiful. The furthest I have been is Jamaica......or Puerto Rico, which is further? I don't know.

Katherine - posted on 08/01/2011

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Michigan. But I'll move to NY.





Edit to add: I have NEVER been overseas :(

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/01/2011

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Ahh...I was gonna say that, but I have never heard of it reffered to like that. LOL.

Well, my mom grew up in Long Island, and she loved it. That was many MANY years ago, but she still speaks fondly of it.

Katherine - posted on 08/01/2011

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And I think you will enjoy New York, how about we trade spots? I'll move to Greece and you move here?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/01/2011

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I like the idea of him going to the US on his own, and checking out the job, and feeling out his relationship with his parents. Also, do you know which state in the US you would potentially be moving to? That could be a big part in your decision making.

IRENE - posted on 08/01/2011

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thanks again.it is always better to hear your own thoughts from another ;s voice..I have thought all these.The most important thing is that i love my hubby and he adores both of us.he wants what;s best for us.I do know his parents ,i am sure that it will work out..so i am 90% positive to go...As you said I keep a 10% to return if it would not work between us....

Katherine - posted on 08/01/2011

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It really depends on what he is going to make here (I live in the US)
If it's more then you're making now, I say go for it. If not....you need to talk.
I'd rather live in Greece personally lol.

I would be frightened too. It's an entire lifestyle change. Everything will be different here.

This is definitely not a hasty decision to make.

IRENE - posted on 07/31/2011

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thanks for the reply.
He is american with greek parents ,his relatives all live there.He came to greece 6 years ago to escape some parential problems -he was the boy for everything! and we met ,got married and now we have George ...He is unemployed since December 2010.I have my job to support the family,well I have my whole life here(family-friends-job...everything)And now that his dad told him that he found a job for him there ,he wants to go back..he says that long term it will better for the kid.....I do not know..I am indeed afraid of the change allthough I am a very strong character ..I am fraid of going there ,live with my parents in law ...in the same home-different appartments ..I do not know if they will respect my privacy or eventually start invading our life....OMG I am so confused...

Jane - posted on 07/31/2011

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Without more information it is hard to give much advice. However, you need to look at why he wants to move. Does he have a job opportunity in the US? Is he trying to escape the financial insecurity in Greece? Is this a long-held dream he has? Has he asked for your input at all?

You also need to address what specifically worries you about the move. You obviously speak English fairly well, so language shouldn't be a problem. Is it because of leaving family and friends? With Skype you can still keep up with all of them, and you can also make new friends in the USA. Is it just a fear of changing, of leaving what you know? Are you having to give up a career?

More information is needed to really address your concerns.

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