How do you deal with in-laws that hog grandparents time and attention?

Sophia - posted on 01/30/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My brother-in-law and his wife have been getting my retired in-laws the past 4 years to babysit their children since the first one was born. They now have 3 children and my husband and I finally had our first child. I am worried that once I head back to work, our caregivers(in-laws) will no longer be able to help us because they're too busy or exhausted from taking care of 3 kids. I don't mind placing my child in daycare but I feel that it's unfair that my brother-in-laws kids have such a close-knit relationship with their grandparents but my child will grow up without the same the closeness. I'm an only child and my parents do not live in the country. I feel that my child is going through this now because my in-laws babysit everyday all day, they don't have time to come and visit. I When my in-laws come over he doesn't react well to them. I try to bring him over to them but I am still trying to get a schedule going for my child and can't always get out. I understand it's not my husband's parent's fault because they just can't say no to my brother-in-law and his wife but I know that they feel bad about not being able to spend time with my 7mth old. They just can't say it openly. Has anyone gone through the same situation and if so, what did you do?

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Sophia - posted on 01/30/2013

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No that's not what I'm saying, what I'm saying is that I don't think my in-laws will be capable of taking care of 4kids everyday. Especially all under the age of 4. II feel guilty asking them to watch over my kid when I go back to work because I see how exhausted they are now that they go to my BIL and SIL place everyday to watch over their kids. They even manage to ask them to come during vacations so that they have babysitters for when they go out alone.

I know my in-laws would like to watch all the kids at the same time but I don't think it's fair for them to do that because it's just too much work. I feel that I don't have a choice but to pay for childcare because I feel that it would overwhelm them. I'm just afraid that my son will not have the same close relationship with their grandparents because he won't nearly spend as much time with them as my BIL and SIL's kids since they spend so much time with them.

Jodi - posted on 01/30/2013

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Can I just clarify this? You want your parents to ONLY look after your child and not the others? I guess I'm a bit confused as to how they are YOUR caregivers for when YOU go back to work.....

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