Donna - posted on 12/26/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )
I am a grandma who has raised 3 of my 5 grandchildren and one we have adopted. My daughter new boyfriend/fiancee takes it upon himself to not on discipline my grandkids but to interrupt in conversations he has no business in.
Last night, my 11 year old granddaughter asked if she could clean up the kitchen after Christmas dinner, I said sure, thank you for offering.
I'm in my office and I hear her mother tell her that's enough and for her to stop cleaning.
My granddaughter comes in the office and calmly sits down and says, "Mommy made me stop cleaning up". I said yes, honey I heard.
Then out of no where, here comes the boyfriend reprimanding my granddaughter saying, "Mckenzie, I'm not going to allow you to pit parent against parent." I asked him what he was talking about and that I would appreciate it if he did not correct my grandkids in my home. Which I have asked him not to do this before but his response is always, "If I see any kids doing something wrong I am going to correct them."
I told him that what my daughter allows him to do in their home was between them but I would not allow him to correct my grandchildren in my home when it is a conversation that was not necessary in the first place.
McKenzie was not upset or yelling when she came to my office, She just calmly sat down and said mommy made me stop, I said I know sissy I heard and that was that.
No pitting parent against or any thing like that. But let's assume for a moment that's what she was trying to do...why does he feel he has the right to but into my conversation with my granddaughter...who I raised for 9 years? I don't get it.
I am a firm believer that you do not discipline other peoples kids, especially when you are having a conversation with the child and you interrupt them.
I have asked him time and time again not to do this and well. it finally blew up yesterday at dinner.
My daughter even allows him to spank the children, which just riles me to no end. Corporal punishment is a whole other debate but that being said, I do not believe adults should spank other peoples children. And I have told him as much.
In the mist of the debate, my daughter comes in without even knowing what took place and starts yelling at me, taking her boyfriends side without even knowing what is going on.
I love my daughter very much but how can we family functions when the parenting philosophies are totally different? I would never go to his home, jump into a conversation he is having with one of his kids and proceed to lecture them......Especially in this case when what he was doing was way out of line...his scenerio of the situation didn't even happen.
And his attitude, " I will correct any child I see doing something wrong." Hey life or death, sure prevent them from being hurt, other wise BACK OFF and respect the rules of the home you are in!