How do you feel about your hubby looking at porn??

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

I am also on the pro side. We watch porn together, we have always been very open with our sex life. Trying new things has (almost) always been beneficial for us. Porn, exotic toys, role-playing, even risky locations, add a certain *something*. Mine likes it when I watch with him, it has always been a together thing. If he ever gets to the point where he would say no to me in favour of porn (ha ha, as if), then we would re-evaluate. It is different for every individual/couple, though.

As an aside, I am not particularly turned on by porn, but the mood he gets in from the experience is totally worth it. It's a man/woman thing.

Angela - posted on 10/04/2011

72

1

11

My husband has a high sex drive while mine is medium, plus we have a 2 year old and a 3 year old so I don't always have the energy or inclination for sex, when this is the case my husband watches porn and masturbates.
I have absolutely no problem with this! In fact I am grateful he does this rather than harrassing me every day when he knows I'm tired or under the weather. He uses it to relax and unwind, I myself read novels which contain graphic sex scenes, this is my own way of relaxing and unwinding. My husband is completely fine with this. We are completely sure of our relationship and will even discuss people we find sexually attractive. I don't believe there is anything wrong with consenting adults enjoying sexual images or publications, provided these also concern consenting adults. Sex and masturbation are not 'evil' or 'wrong' and I think it is counter productive to teach our people that their perfectly normal instincts should be bottle up, these instincts should be expressed in healthy ways. If I am ok with porn and my husband is ok with porn then what is the problem?

Johnny - posted on 07/13/2009

8,686

26

322

I'm personally a big fan of "Big Trouble in Little Vagina" and "Clitty Clitty Bang Bang" and "Dr. Seuss' The Snatch Bigger Than a Hat ".

Johnny - posted on 07/13/2009

8,686

26

322

and i do have to say, i enjoy reading porn titles. i used to work in a video store & we entertained ourselves for hours reading the crazy names. i may have matured a bit, but not so much that they still don't give me a huge laugh

[deleted account]

My hubby and I have an understanding - he can have his porn but if I find it I destroy it. Its nothing to do with whether porn is wrong or not - it just makes me insecure so I ask him to respect my issues and hide it.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

46 Comments

View replies by

Charlie - posted on 07/13/2009

11,203

111

409

i have to say the porn from the 80's is soooooooo funny with their crazy story lines haha

Johnny - posted on 07/13/2009

8,686

26

322

Quoting Nicole:

As long as it's not an obsession or addiction it's fine. My husband usually ends up looking up weird stuff anyway! He doesn't do it to get a rise out of it, so to speak, he just thinks it's funny! He has some DVDs and stuff he's downloaded, but I don't care for it. Men like to just jump into it, I need to see a story first. I like to read books or magazines. That way I can picture attractive people in my head and not the crack head looking porn stars!


Well said.  I don't mind if he wants to look at it, and since he knows I don't care, he doesn't bother hiding it from me. When I was younger, I used to really like to watch it with him, but now I find it boring, and the clear lack of interest of the women participants just makes it unappealing.  I can't get turned on by something when I can totally tell it's completely faked & both partners are just doing it for the camera angle, not pleasure.  I prefer to a scenario in my head that sparks my imagination, but if porn gets him going, to each their own.  As long as we are enjoying each other much more than he's enjoying the porn, why get upset (unless it's morally reprehensible for you).

Charlie - posted on 07/13/2009

11,203

111

409

as long as i get to watch it too !! i think i would be more likely to ask him to join me to watch it then the other way round cause i enjoy it ! hey i took him to his first strip club lol , i dont have any sexual hang ups .

Kathleen - posted on 07/12/2009

212

22

14

i dont mind a guy looking at porn as in a dvd or a magazine because its not like he actually knows the person and will probly never meet them but its when they go to far its a problem. my ex boyfriend and i actually recently broke up because he was doing the whole web cam thing where you meet girls on sites and then i have no idea they get naked and dirty or whatever but yea as soon as i found that out i broke up with him because it wasnt a fantasy person anymore it was real people that lived in the same state and he was having actual conversations and such with them so i think if it is just innocent fun its alright its just when they take it to far its not okay!

Bianca - posted on 07/12/2009

6

24

0

i reallly dnt mind as long as we are looking together , it dosent bother me at alll

the way i see it is if he wasnt happy with me then we would nt be together , i dnt see it as cheating its juz a bit of funn

Samantha - posted on 07/12/2009

251

14

28

Quoting Heather:



Quoting Samantha:

I wouldn't mind. My fiance is not the type to watch it by himself but if he was I wouldn't care. He is a male and they are visual and if I am not in the mood to have fun then he can go for the gold and do it himself lol.

I would care however if he only used porn and it started affecting our sex life. I don't really have to worry about it though because he is more the computer nerd type then the watching porn by himself type.






Ha ha, mine too! Re-installing Windows is like foreplay for him!





Then you know what I mean lol.  It is either the computer or it is what he call "Sexy" cars lol.  I don't think I really ever have to worry about him straying or getting addicted to porn lol

Penny - posted on 07/11/2009

1

2

0

Men are by nature, visual. My hubby made a promise and commitment to me when we got married and even though he can't help looking, I know he will never touch another. Like any of those girls would ever give him the time of day anyway, they're porn stars. Let him have his fantasies. Besides, if the "dog house" thing is working for getting your way with him, you are his only resource.

Gillie - posted on 07/11/2009

1

0

0

My opinion is if you are a married or unmarried couple w/o children living in your home then do whatever you want in the privacy of your home. However, when you are raising children...keep it out of the home. Kids are smart...and NOSY! I put my foot down on this matter when my 4 year old (at that time) logged on to the computer and saw pop up images that were totally scary to him. I want to keep our kids' minds as pure as we can for as long as we can.

Anna - posted on 07/11/2009

65

41

3

if they watch porn at home they don't have the temptation of real women...it's somewhat of a normal human curiosity to explore porn...not always appropriate but more people watch it then you think!!

[deleted account]

All I have to say is, at least they are HOME looking at naked women. They aren't at strip clubs!

Nicole - posted on 07/11/2009

529

5

82

As long as it's not an obsession or addiction it's fine. My husband usually ends up looking up weird stuff anyway! He doesn't do it to get a rise out of it, so to speak, he just thinks it's funny! He has some DVDs and stuff he's downloaded, but I don't care for it. Men like to just jump into it, I need to see a story first. I like to read books or magazines. That way I can picture attractive people in my head and not the crack head looking porn stars!

[deleted account]

Quoting Samantha:

I wouldn't mind. My fiance is not the type to watch it by himself but if he was I wouldn't care. He is a male and they are visual and if I am not in the mood to have fun then he can go for the gold and do it himself lol.

I would care however if he only used porn and it started affecting our sex life. I don't really have to worry about it though because he is more the computer nerd type then the watching porn by himself type.



Ha ha, mine too! Re-installing Windows is like foreplay for him!

Jenny - posted on 07/11/2009

4,426

16

129

Well I can't be there to participate all the time, I have to work! I also watch it with him and without him. I think if you have a problem with it it is more related to self esteem than anything. Your partner (most likely) does not prefer porn to you, it's just for fun. If you get to the point when it's not fun anymore than that's a different story and it's priobably time to go your seperate ways.

Samantha - posted on 07/11/2009

251

14

28

I wouldn't mind. My fiance is not the type to watch it by himself but if he was I wouldn't care. He is a male and they are visual and if I am not in the mood to have fun then he can go for the gold and do it himself lol.

I would care however if he only used porn and it started affecting our sex life. I don't really have to worry about it though because he is more the computer nerd type then the watching porn by himself type.

Samantha - posted on 07/11/2009

251

14

28

I wouldn't mind. My fiance is not the type to watch it by himself but if he was I wouldn't care. He is a male and they are visual and if I am not in the mood to have fun then he can go for the gold and do it himself lol.

I would care however if he only used porn and it started affecting our sex life. I don't really have to worry about it though because he is more the computer nerd type then the watching porn by himself type.

Crystal - posted on 07/11/2009

26

11

1

WATCH IT TOGETHER!! ♥!! yes porn is happy fun time! lol!!

I have no problem with it either! I enjoy watching porn with my husband, alot of times we get a good laugh in too!

Adina - posted on 07/11/2009

2

9

0

i feel both ways. We look at it together and can have a fun but I get bored real quick and after a while would be turned on by a brick wall more. But I also feel he needs it too much and what is the point of me when he gets so turned on by the porn. It depends on how much he looks at it to be turned on for us to have sex is how much it bothers me. I could do without it don't need it but fun for us sometimes. I can tell you that it can change how you think he thinks about your sexyness. but if you are open and don't keep secrets you can work out a compromise. Men are very visual (unfortunetly)

[deleted account]

We have an understanding. If he ever wants to commit suicide he knows that all he has to do is bring porn in my house and I will kill him. Simple. haha Seriously, we are Christians and believe that it is wrong- both of us- so he would never bring anything into our home like that. Does he get momentarily tempted and peek at it online occasionally- I don't know but it wouldn't shock me. He'd have to do it at work or something because we like to sit right next to each other at home and do stuff on our laptops. If he does it, it's a quick glance, move on, and he doesn't tell me. That's between him and God.

Barbara - posted on 07/11/2009

3

19

0

As long as he is not obsessed, is faithful.....mine can look at anything he wants....it's the touching that is off limits.

Beth - posted on 07/11/2009

1

9

0

The one question you should ask yourself is.. how do you feel about it? If it bothers you, that's ok and you should communicate that with your husband, and he should respect that. Me personally, it would be a bit of a turn off. But, that's my personal feeling. I don't think it's unhealthy and I'm sure most men do it. It certainly isn't an issue that I would let affect our relationship (as long as it's not an obsession), but being honest about your feelings is so important. I don't believe it's cheating or disrespectful, but I agree with the "no secrets" policy. The truth is, men are more stimulated by visuals, it's in their nature.

[deleted account]

Quoting LaCi:

Porn is happy fun time.



LaCi-I just texted this to hubby!  I like the way you stated this phrase!

Heather - posted on 07/11/2009

27

24

2

mine wont look at it he says he would rather look at me than cheap porn

[deleted account]

:-) It brings a lot of excitement back into the bedroom, or couch, or bathroom floor....if ya know what I mean! I agree with LaCi: Porn is happy fun time. Add a few toys to the mix and it's super duper fun happy time! Not cheating in the least bit sine I know where he is-in front of the computer! Plus when I am not in the mood I can easily go tell him to take care of himself.

Anna - posted on 07/11/2009

20

30

1

Quoting LaCi:

Porn is happy fun time. I watch it with him... and without him.... and I know he watches it without me. It's not cheating. Its just a visual aid for masturbation.



good answer. exactly.

Yvonne - posted on 07/11/2009

49

11

12

no problems wit this!!watch it wit him if i am in d mood,,,,its great if i am too tired he can pop downstairs and enjoy himself and i know he isnt gone off out to someone else for it!! its healthy if he is honest wit u....prefer a smutty book meself!!

LISA - posted on 07/11/2009

194

40

21

my husband doesn't want me to do it sooo he respects me... not to mention he's one of those guys who are just crazy for their wife... but even in highschool he wasn't one to have women plastered on his walls... I think it is disrespectful unless you agree and are down with doing it together... which i'll admit me and my husband have watched stuff like that before... but he also knows if he wants to see something naked i'll gladly strip down...lol...but we do have porn mags. but thats only because I draw from them... it's not for perverted purposes... he's very aware that it is a turn off to have your man checking out other women... just like it totally demolishes their egos if we look at other men in that way...

Joanne - posted on 07/11/2009

1

1

0

Don't care as long as it's not excessive & an addiction (that would just be creepy). Other than that as long as he doesn't take it further than looking - not a problem for me.

LaCi - posted on 07/11/2009

3,361

3

171

Porn is happy fun time. I watch it with him... and without him.... and I know he watches it without me. It's not cheating. Its just a visual aid for masturbation.

Jessica - posted on 07/11/2009

387

24

39

It's not a big deal for me! I had a freind who got really upaet cos her partner was watching porn and masterbating! I told her to be happy cos studies have shown that the more your partner masterbates (and i assume this applies to porn aswell) the more sexually satisfied they are in their relationship!

Mel - posted on 07/11/2009

5,539

58

228

mine does not, but i did have an ex who did. and he lied about it to. several times telling me he deleted it from his comp or was not looking at it anymore. i still found it there and in recent items too. it was one thing i jst could not stop. if a man does this he does no respect his partner at all. its cheating

Savannah - posted on 07/11/2009

552

28

48

It would totally bother me. My husband and I have long history of him and other women (not in the 3 years of our marraige, just dumb stuff before) so my self esteem is SOOOOOO ridiculously low! The thought of him getting turned on by that crap makes me sick to my stomach. I think it is totally gross. I've watched porn with him in the past and it was just nasty.

In my opinion, when you get married, you forsake all others. That includes watching naked women march around in front of you, on screen or off. My husband agrees, which is great. He HATES the idea of me even looking at another man, so he feels the same way. (although it is pretty funny when he tells me to turn my head when Vin Diesel comes on screen without a shirt on! haha) Of course it's impossible not to be attracted to other people now and again. We are all human. But you shouldn't put yourself in a position to lust after someone else.

My husband and I are also christain, so I know that that also affects our ideas and values on this subject.

I am very lucky because porn has never come up or been an issue in our entire relationship. He thinks it's as gross as I do.

Just my opinion.

Cathelijn - posted on 07/11/2009

521

16

21

It doesn't bother me at all! Like emma said I rather have him looking at porn then going somewhere else! My husband looks at porn and he doesn't hide the fact that he does, so I don't see a problem with it...

Emma - posted on 07/11/2009

1,590

15

114

I think its fine every thing in modaration and all that. you could watch with him.

Its hard to get alone time together when you have kids so be happy he is DIY'ing it rearther than going else where. I think it only becomes a prob if he wont have sex with you without watching it, or if it becomes obsesive, or watching somthing that disterbs you.

[deleted account]

I don't really mind.

Guys are visual creatures and women are imaginative, if you get what I mean.

There'd be more women who get turned on by reading a Mills and Boon novel then men.

Where's men get turned on more easily if they saw sexual material rather then reading it.

Alicia - posted on 07/11/2009

10

25

0

it doesnt bother me at all cause we would of watch it together but since i have a baby i stop watching them but he sometimes watches them just not infront of the baby.

Suzy - posted on 07/11/2009

2

30

0

Doesn't bother me, we sometimes look at it together. We buy each other magazines (usually as a joke for fun), watch movies together (nothing hard core) they are more like comedies than porn, and some internet stuff - usually homegirls n guys (everyday normal looking people). Boys will aways be boys. Its quite normal, healthy and fun, done in an open and managable way. No secrets!

Emma - posted on 07/11/2009

816

59

76

I would be rather upset and let down as I would feel no good for him. If I was good enough for him then he wouldn't so I guess I am as he hasn't and never will.

Ceri Alexander - posted on 07/11/2009

1

12

1

my x used to do it all the time on the net and it used to drive me nuts

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms