How do you get a 15 month old to STAY asleep?

Pia - posted on 09/29/2009 ( 44 moms have responded )

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Hi all,

my 15 month old son has no problems getting to sleep, however he is still waking up 1-2 times a night and it usually takes at least an hour to get him to sleep again.

My doctor recommended giving him an antihistemine to sedate him for a few nights so that he gets used to sleeping through, however this hasn't worked and I'm reaching the end of my tether!

I've also tried a control comforting method, but it only worked for a few weeks and then he was back to waking up.

HELP!

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Cindy - posted on 10/08/2009

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I'm a mom of nine so here goes...Don't respond to him when he wakes.Leave him in his bed .Let him cry if he must. Once he knows he isn't getting you up he will go back to sleep. You have to be tough for about 3 nights!

Barbara - posted on 10/10/2009

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Hi Pia,

I know what you're going through. I had this with my son who is 8 months but now he sleeps through every night from approx 9pm onwards until approx 7am.

Have a bedtime routine. THIS IS ESSENTIAL! Mine is to put my son into his pyjamas about 8pm, give him a feed and then make sure he is not stimulated until he goes to bed, say at 9pm. Then I take him up to bed and I sing "Rock a bye baby" to him (which for him signals bedtime). Then I kiss him and tell him I love him and put him down in his cot and come downstairs and put the monitor on. If he cries, YOU MUST WAIT A MINIMUM OF 5 MINS before I go back up. Then I pick him up and give him a cuddle and say "it's bedtime" (NOTHING ELSE) and put him back in his cot. Repeat this as many times as necessary, but it should work within 2-3 nights. With my son, it took 2 nights. It is a case of tough love, but it is better in the long run; your son gets a good nights sleep and so can you and if you're like me, you can cope so much better if you can get your sleep. Please trust me on this, it definitely works. Message me if I can be any further help. Please let me know how you go on, lots of love xx

Pamela - posted on 09/29/2009

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I can see a number of things that this might be:
1. If you find yourself in an insecure state, your child's sensitivity may be picking up on your insecurity and thus reacting.

2. The child may be going through it's own period of insecurity and needing extra comforting.

and 3. This is a natural stage where children are truly starting to wonder about the world around them in inquisitive ways. Your child might simply be anxious about "missing something" that might be going on while he is sleeping.

Most phases at this time of development last only short periods of time...a few months. Now I know that it seems like FOREVER when you are in the middle of it all. Rest assured. IT IS NOT going to last forever. Parenting is always changing. I am still adjusting to parenthood at 64. It's a truly different ball game when your children are adults!

Parenthood.....the never-ending glory of life on planet earth!

Lee - posted on 10/01/2009

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I found breaking this habitual waking up very difficult for my son as well. I finally decided that I was going to accept that it was going to take a few more nights of lack of sleep for myself and bit the bullet. First thing was to get him out of our room. Second, no bringing him back to bed with me - no matter how tired I was. Third, try not to lift him out of his bed - soothe him, but don't pick him up. The main thing was that I discovered he was waking up with gas. A little (or a lot) gripe water after his last feeding also started to help. The last thing was to put him into a baby sleeping bag - the kind that has arm holes ( I have made a few of these as well). And of course failing all else, let him cry it out. I was able to do this with my first as his temperment allowed for it, my second would simply cry until he made himself sick, so that was not an option. He is 19 months now and rarely wakes up. Oh, with my first, the doctor told me to keep his naps to an hour and a half max, that also helped, but no nap at all was a disaster.



Hope this gives you some new ideas to try. Eventually, they do get it, but I understand the frustration in the mean time.

Jen - posted on 10/02/2009

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P.S. I tried the benedryl on my son when we took an overseas flight to Europe thinking it would help him sleep through the flight. It had the opposite affect and he didn't sleep at all and became hyper and had long bouts of crying until he was so exhausted he finally fell asleep about 20 minutes before we landed.

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44 Comments

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Kristiangurl - posted on 12/26/2013

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We're going through the same thing with our 15 month son. A lot of people are saying just let him cry it out, but ours always wakes up a midnight and will cry all night if we let him. When we go to check on him he's still asleep. I'm wondering if he's having bad dreams. He only calms down if he's in our arms.

Lee - posted on 06/17/2012

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Lots of good notes here. With my boys I found that food was the problem. My first would wake up hungry. The second seemed to need a burp after a couple of hours of sleep. The third will still wake up (now 28months) if he doesn't get a good supper. I have always kept their rooms very dark and never turned on any lights unless it was absolutely necessary, hopefully sending the message that dark means sleep. Also, if you are going to let them fuss a bit and try to "cry it out", watch the clock. A baby crying for 5 minutes feels like forever. Watching the clock helps you to remember it is only 5 minutes. With my third, I figured out (finally) that just because the baby wakes doesn't mean I have to go in. Surprisingly, he went back to sleep very quickly, and was sleeping through very soon after. Once he was on solids the only time he would wake was if he hadn't eaten enough. Bedtime for all my boys is 7 and they all sleep until at least 630. It is tough, but eventually they figure it out, or you do. Funny thing is that the first time they sleep through, I guarantee you will wake up and check on them 5 times during the night!

Christine - posted on 06/06/2012

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my 13 month old is going through something similar. When she goes to sleep she sleeps great like her dad. But she ALWAYS wakes up 2 hours later ever since she learned to walk its all she wants to do and she will do it till 3 am! I have tried every method in the parenting book I have and every tip I have come across online even letting her cry it out. Even sticking to her routine she has had since birth does not help. She stays up all night wanting to walk than sleeps during the day. If I try and wake her earlier during the day she just lays on my floor and goes back to bed. My husband is gone a lot with his work so I get no help or a break at all if I did not nap when she does Idk how I would make it through this lol. My mom said I was the same way at her age and she gave me benadryl. Does this work or does anyone have any ideas on how I can help her regulate her sleep back?

Jill - posted on 10/12/2009

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My 18 month daughter is the same way, although usually waking only once per night. I wish I knew how to get her to sleep all night too.

Barbara - posted on 10/10/2009

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Also, a sleeping bag helps means that babies do not wake up cos they are cold, grobag ones are best and I have been using them since my son was about 6 weeks old x

Jen - posted on 10/02/2009

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We use white noise. His room is next to the guest bathroom and we leave the bathroom fan on all night. It helps drown out the other noises in the house and cars on the street. Also, he's been sick lately, so we put a cool mist humidifier in the room that bubbles and steams all night and now that he's better, he still asks to leave it on. The sound is comforting to him. I took him to the doc a few days ago and the doc specificially said don't give him antihistimines because they dry out the sinuses and the throat too much and cause more dry coughing. Another thing we do is make sure he has a little something to eat about an hour before bed, banana, or yogurt are his favorite bedtime snacks. Watch the naps too. I found that if I didn't let him sleep more than an hour and a half to 2 hours in the afternoon, i.e. 12-2 or 1-3, I could get him down easier than if he slept 3 hours and woke up at 4pm. He's almost 4 now, but when he was younger, I ran in at the slightest whimper and often found myself holding a sleeping baby who appeared awake, but was having a dream or something. At 16 months, we finally invested in a baby monitor that connected to the TV. We can watch GeeGee TV for hours on end and could see if he really needed to be rescued or if he can settle back down on his own and fall asleep. It takes patience because you want to hold him every minute, but you'll get there.

Kelli - posted on 10/01/2009

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My 14 month old is still up every 2 hours all night long but will take a 3 hour nap during the day! I have asked our entire team of doctors (he has a metabolic disorder so we do have a whole team). The consensus seems to be to let them cry it out. I can't seem to do that because it breaks my heart and makes him sick (which is very bad for his disorder). But if you have a healthy baby and a strong stomach or support team - try it. I sat outside his room and cried myself!

There are a million websites, books and videos on how to get your baby to sleep through the night. I did actually see on the Today Show (I Think) A company of 2 Moms that come to your house and teach you AND your baby how to do it. You may look into that?

Carolyn - posted on 09/30/2009

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My baby boy is still a little young..hes 11 months old and Ive been really lucky with him sleeping through the night starting at 3 weeks. Every once in a while he will wake up and start yelling "momma" but I just ignore it and he goes back to sleep. (I can tell if something is actually wrong, and usually its nothing). But my niece and nephew are the same way..not sleeping through the night.



His doctor did recommend to me a few things. He did say that all babies sleeping patterns change..something to do with the sleep cycles or something idk.



We have a set bedtime routine. Dinner at 6. He gets a bath right after dinner cause hes really really messy. Then after the bath I usually let him play for another hour. Then we start winding down. Picking up toys, reading a book. We are getting him off the bottle, but that has been part of the routine, just fills his little belly up before bedtime.



He also just started sleeping in his own room (always in his own bed though). I lay him down while he is still awake, he has a little blanket and bear he curls up with and goes straight to sleep. If your baby is in the same room as you, try blocking his sight of you..that way he knows its bedtime and not play time. And also if he does wake up, dont talk to him, just let him know its time to sleep.



I hope this helps...good luck!

Melissa - posted on 09/30/2009

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my son JUST started sleeping through the nite for about a year now, and he turned 5 sept 7th... lol, and yes i had to lay there with him too, how i got him out of that was, you just dont give in for about a week and they get use to it, they are just trying to see what they can get away with, put a nite like in the room, and take them to the store and buy a teddy that they pick so they can cuddle it, i also use to have a large sized pillow buddy in the bed, and once he fell asleep id put that near him and snuggle him iup in the blanket and hed think i was still laying with him. rite now, he tends to wake up once in a while for a drink, but he doesnt finally sleep through most nites til between 5 and 7

Naomi - posted on 09/30/2009

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maybe,his in his growth spurt,how about trying to give him a nice bath,let him play in the bath tub with his,toys for a while&when his really tired,then get him out&see if that might help him sleep better,cause thats what also happen to my 15 month baby,&at night time he sleeps better.

Lindsey - posted on 09/30/2009

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I would recommend the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weisbluth. I had ALOT of sleeping problems with my 18 mo. old but this book has always been right on. It will atleast give you a good basis as to when and how long your child should be napping and when they should be going down for bedtime. Most of my problems stemmed from him going to bed too late. Sleep, begets sleep and it's true!

[deleted account]

I have 3 boys, the youngest being 15 months. He too gets up in the middle of the night and comes into bed with us. I've tried everything and all my attempts seem to just get him more upset where he will scream as loud as he can. He will not stop (we've taken up to an hour of his screaming before giving in). My older two did the same and they eventually grew out of it. All I can say is hang in there.

User - posted on 09/30/2009

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From my experience, not that I'm trying to rub it in, but my kids have been sleeping through the night from around 3 months old (my 3rd has been sleeping through the night since 2 months old). What I've always done was give them a good feeding (breast feeding) around 6pm'ish... then either bathe them or give them a sponge bath (usually after a bath they got a second wind)... and then I'd keep them up till around 9ish... give them another feeding... then I'd take them into their room with only a night light on and it wouldn't take more than a half hour and they'd fall asleep. A friend of mine is a pediatrician and she told me during my first pregnancy that when baby wakes up in the middle of the night you need to let them know that it's the most boring-est time of the day, keep only the night light on and don't start talking to them (that's always the hardest part... I would never NOT talk to them... but I limited my talking and whispered.
I hope that's some kind of help to you :) Good luck.

Anita - posted on 09/30/2009

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Hi all, i have an 18mt old boy and its only in the last few weeks he sleeps the whole night in his own room, he still wakes once or twice looking for his soother, i have felt for so long i cant get even a few hours sleep as he always wanted to come in with me then i wouldnt sleep with all his moving around,but i just had to let him cry himself asleep for 2 or 3 nights ,maybe an hour or so ,and it upset me to listen to him,think it worked!!

I split from his dad when he was 3 mts and i know it was my own fault ,i just wanted to comfort him ,hug him all night ,and babies just love it and get used of it. so I really think if your firm they will learn to adapt , but you have to stick to it.

Laura - posted on 09/30/2009

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Maybe he's growing through a growth spurt and is waking up because he's hungry. I have a 15 month old and he will wake up in the middle of the night even if he just didn't eat enough of his dinner! A small bottle and he is back in bed.

Laura - posted on 09/30/2009

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def do not use the benedryl, have u tried a little rice (gerber baby rice) with milk before bedtime?

Rosalyn - posted on 09/29/2009

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Good luck hun, can be so upsetting but hang in there, Must be hard listening to him crying and knowing there nothing you can do to help, the only thing that ever made me feel ok about my terrible sleeping children is kind of just excepting it, I dont know if that makes sense but I have spent countless time surfing the net, renting sleeping books from library, asking advise which all kind of made me just feel worse about it all and got me no where, Sometimes there are no answers to why kids wake up thirsty? hungry? wet nappy? sometimes they just wake up, maybe when he wakes put a seat next to his bed and just sit next to him why he crys back to sleep maybe put a hand on his back so he knows you there and just sit there untill he gives in and goes back to sleep, and no eye contact or talking just sit there completly still, what ever you decide I wish you good luck with it :)

[deleted account]

This can be such a difficult stage and age and every baby is different. Try to remember that it is just a stage and ALL children grow out of this. my 23 mo old is just now starting to think about sleeping more, but still usually is up once a night and then up at 6 am. Babies sleep through the night when developmentally ready and not sooner. Letting them cry is not going to fix what is going on. I have found just talking to other mom's can help a great deal in my ability to cope. More parents go through this than I ever thought possilbe. Hang it there, it will pass.

Tricia - posted on 09/29/2009

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This may sound cruel, but if he is waking up and he's not crying, just leave him! Let him talk himself back to sleep. If he is crying, then of course you go to him and comfort him, offer him some water, but once you know he is okay just lay him back down and leave the room! It may take days, or maybe weeks, and it will be rough, but you will be so glad in the long run!! If nothing else is working try giving him a snack before bed, something like crackers and cheese with a little bit of fat in it that will sit longer, that way you know he's not hungry. I might also try getting him a blankie or bear or something that he can use to self soothe. Make sure you are sticking to the same bed time plan every night... at our house we do dinner around 5:30, then we take our son (who is now 21mos) outside to play or on a walk...the fresh air will exhaust him-garaunteed!!!!!!!!!...then he gets his bath by 7, gets into his jammies and has a snack if needed and a cup of whole milk, we cuddle on the couch and read a book or two and by 7:30 he goes up to bed where he puts himself to sleep, no exception. I know from experience how exhausting it can be getting up with a toddler a few times a night, so I rely on routine because we are a military family and my husband isn't always around to help and I am 8mos pregnant with our second so the one thing I need is a full nights sleep! Good luck with everything, you'll find your groove.

Michelle - posted on 09/29/2009

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hi pia , firs tno antihistamine , th edoctor ashould not be prescribing this for an infant that doe snto hav allergies . it is not a sleep aid and is not prescribed as one either.second. many children wake up during the night for many reasons. just as adults do. dreams , need to urinate, being h to , cold ect there ar emany reasons. the bes thing to do i snot expec thim t sleep through the night. he will eventually but he must adjus tto this. i hav espend my fair share of time up al night with kids . si o know how you feel when you ar ever ytired and just want to go to sleep your self. but in t he best interest of the child , you must just try to comfort him until he goes back to sleep , he will eventually sleep all night. he may also be thirsty. alot fo parents make the mistake of cutting off drinks to early at night thinking this is best for kids . but if you rchild is thirsty he make wake everynight unless he feels satisfied when he goes to bed. make sur ehe isnt thirsty. and NEVER ever let your child cry for 30 minute sa ssuggeste dby another person. this is not considere dproper behaviour and is considere dot be neglectful in most places. a child could be hurt and you wouldnt know because yo waite dto long to go back and check on them. it si best to wait a few minutes about 5 you can also peak in in the dark if ther eis a night light to see how they are doing without them seeing you to make sure they are safe. yo may also want to trry sleeping in a bed nea rhimf or alittle bit . not with him, just in another bed in his room. so he feels secure and thinks youa r ethere . this is another method tha tworks sometimes and a slong as he wakes up and sees you he will go back to sleep becaus ehe feels safe, this cant be done forever. just a little while or they wont ever go to sleep without you presetn or stay asleep if your not there. jsut for a couple of weeks ok. thanks michelle i hope i hav ebeen somewhat helpful

Kimberley - posted on 09/29/2009

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my son just recently turned 2 and is sleeping all night the only reason he does sleep through is because we repeatidly put him back down on his back to sleep and didnt talk to him when doing so all you need to do is lay ur child back down without speaking and keep doing it till they get the idea! its to do with your kids thinking they can tell you what to do! dont let then dictate otherwise it wont stop there, also some children have trouble sleeping becasue of wat you feed them at night and how much they eat can result in either being hungry or too full too sleep! as i said alot of children dictate to their parents and the more you set your rules and stick to them the better of you will be

Pia - posted on 09/29/2009

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Thanks everyone for the help.

In response to the questions yes he has a regular nap during the day, usually 2-3 hours. We have a regular bedtime routine which involves a bath, then a book, and then I give him a cuddle and a bottle to relax him.

When he wakes up during the night he won't even go back to sleep in my bed with me, and then if I put him back in the cot he cries for at least two hours.

He does have a favourite teddy, but he has figured out how to use this teddy to climb out of his cot so we had to take it off him. The same goes for any cot toys he had. He's too clever for his own good! We are planning on putting him in his bed once the weather has warmed up a bit.

When he wakes up I usually wait a while hoping he will settle himself. If not I go in there, make sure he hasn't done a pooh or is too hot or cold, then I pat him til he calms down then leave. He usually starts crying afterwards and only rarely will it take him less then an hour to cry himself to sleep. I know it's a stage, but he's just so tired during the day from all this commotion at night!

Suzanne - posted on 09/29/2009

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Read The No-Cry Sleep Solution, it really helped me. Make sure he is getting proper naps during the day and you are putting him to bed at the right time (not too early, not too late), the book discusses finding this 1/2 hour window. Also what are you doing when he awakes? Try to reassure him but not pick him up. Do you give him something soothing to sleep with? We started to give myson a small blanket to hold (nothing big enough to put over him), at night if he wakes I just put the blanket back in his hands to hold and snuggle too and he goes right back to sleep.

Rosalyn - posted on 09/29/2009

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My 20 month still wakes in the night and my elder daughter was the same, sometimes they just want to know you are there in the night, and trust me kids grow up so fast I would just cherish the extra cuddles you get in the night and wait for him to grow out of it, I know it can be hard my son nearly 2 and has never slept through the night, I have tried everything, control crying just made me and him more stressed and woke up my daughter so now when he wakes I just put him into bed with us and we all cuddle and go back to sleep till morn :) I did the same thing with my now 3 year old daughter and one day on her own accord she just stopped coming into us at night and has slept the night through since, kids get there in their own time sometimes its just easier to except some of there lil bad habits than the stress of trying to force them out of them

Terri - posted on 09/29/2009

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oh me too! My 15 month old can wake and chat LOUDLY and/or cry for up to 3 hours. It's down to not every night and less than half an hour though, since I dropped one of her day sleeps. Now she sleeps one sleep midday for two hours and will sleep 7pm-7am most nights. Hope it's as simple for you. good luck and best wishes.

Barbara - posted on 09/29/2009

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He sounds like he is getting too much sleep during the day. It may take a week or more, but keep him up from naps, and sometimes awards, if they are into that sort of thing, work too. My 4 yr. old and 2 yr old kept waking us at night, and I found out if I promised a treat at the end of the week of them not coming in bed with us or not waking up, it broke their habit, and gave an award for good behavior. Remember to leave some soft toys that are special to them while they are breaking the habit.

User - posted on 09/29/2009

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Does your LO have something that he can "do" when he wakes up at night? For example, my son (almost 16 mos) has one of those aquarium soothers and a nightlight that he can turn on in his crib. He also has a couple of soft toys as well. We'll often hear him waking up, talk to his animals, turn on his soother and be back asleep in a few minutes.

Cindy - posted on 09/29/2009

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oh my god I think Id change doctors.I hate meds that arent nessesary.Its a bad habit to get into. my sister inlaw used to do that, and my nephews are practically immuned to the meds when they really need it now.I know its hard, but if you check on him and there is nothing physically wronge, let him cry himself to sleep.He will realize there is no reason to be up, and eventually sleep through the night. good luck.PS. I am a nurse and would never give advice that would harm a living soul.But I know as a mom of 2 and a grandmother of 1, its worked for me. again good luck

Tatiana - posted on 09/29/2009

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Pia-
If your son is waking up around the same time each night, set your alarm for 1/2 an hour before he's due to wake up and nudge him. You don't want to wake him, just nudge him enough so that he'll readjust himself. For some reason, this interrupts his cycle and prevent him from waking up when he usually does.

I know this sounds completely crazy, but it worked fabulously for our son. We were in the same boat you're in and my pediatrician suggested I try this and it worked! You'll have to do it a few nights, but it totally works.

[deleted account]

dear Pia:
i am going through the same thing. we have been sleep training for the past 5 nights. my boy cried for over an hour last night wanting me to go in and hold him. his dad went in a few times but that he wasn't satisfied. i know it is the hardest thing to listen to your baby cry and suffer. i am searching for answers too. in the meantime, here is an article i found online that you might find useful. good luck!
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300...

Melanie - posted on 09/29/2009

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I can't give you advice - just that I am having similar trouble and same age. He has never slept through the night - I have to pick him up out of his cot and sleep with him for rest of night in the single bed in his room. At least we get sleep! I tried control crying once and he was so upset after one minute that he vomitted! My boy is 16 months and is full of teeth popping out so maybe same with yours and could add to the distress! Good luck and let me know if you find the answers.

Minnie - posted on 09/29/2009

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Your doctor is NUTS. Drugging a child barely out of infancy to help him learn to put himself back to sleep when he wakes during the night. Good holy grief.

Children put themselves back to sleep when they wake when they are developmentally ready to. And for some this isn't until three or four years of age.

Truth be told, YOU don't sleep through the night. The average adult sleep cycle is 90 minutes, an infant's is about 50. You wake at the end of each cycle.

Louise - posted on 09/29/2009

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I have two boys an with both i made sure i had a stricked routeen i let them have a nap b4 12 in the day no later an would wake them b4 12 for lunch then have a stricked bedtime routine, if any of mine wake up an start crying or teething i give them nurophen and calpol an bottle of milk or change bottom if that is wot was upsetting them i dont turn any lights on i dont talk to them except shushing an once i have dont wot was needed i leave room and it works a treat if they start crying again i leave them to it if they are still crying after 30 mins il pop in put them back in bed an walk out again and leave them to self sooth ul only have to do this couple of times to start with b4 the know they wont get what the want witch is ur attention.
If ur little one does not have milk anymore and they are waking up alot just give them plain water they will soon realise its not worth waking for lol i hope this helps if u want to ask me any questions please do as u need ur sleep and rest
lou x

Garfia - posted on 09/29/2009

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My 18month old son is doing the same thing so i guess its just a stage that all children goes through.

Emily - posted on 09/29/2009

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I think it is a stage for a lot of children. My 15 month old twins still wake up at night and sometimes not at the same time. You just have to deal and remember that it will not last forever!

[deleted account]

Im mother of 8 children my oldest being 17 and youngest is just six months old. A few questions

Does he have a regular nap during the day at all ?

Do you have a regular bedtime routine ?

And when he wakes during the night what happens ? (eg do you go sit up with him, talk , watch tv ? etc)

I would love to try help out if I can xxx if I cant maybe the info you give will help others help you Cheers

Teresa - posted on 09/29/2009

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Hi PIA, unfortunatly babies are very diffrent when it comes to sleeping patterns and if you talk to other mums on here they will tell you this to, I am sure there are lots of mums who have gone through a simular sitiuation, Youre baby seems to have got into a routine of waking up and I wonder how you respond when he does maybe try leaving him for a short whil;e just to see if he can settle himself down again , if this does not work just go into the room let him know yopu are there make sure you can see he is ok try not to pick him up or talk to much to him as he will then expect you to stay and comfort him till he goes back to sleep, alternatively try and find something that is yours like a small peice of clothing that yopu can give to him if he wakes up to place next to him , I am afraid this is a stage that he is going through and hopefully as he griows and becomes more energetic during the day he will start to sleep through without waking up, I hope it works out for you and I am sure some other mums will have some good suggestions to help as well keep checking in ok . good luck

Maria - posted on 09/29/2009

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I wish I could help but unfortunately I also need help!! My 17 month old still doesn't wanna sleep on his own for more than an hour. Then he wakes and I must sleep with him!!!!

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