HOW DO YOU RAISE A GAY KID

Love - posted on 02/26/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I am a social worker with the Love coalition a nonprofit organization that provides service to the LGBTQ youth and as we did needs assessments with the youth we found out that so many of the youth feel abandoned and misunderstood by their family so we are trying to develop a support group with the parents to help develop support systems for these kids. So we ask how do you raise a gay kid, how do you make them feel like they belong?

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/19/2015

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Love Coalition, I think it is fantastic what your work entails. Keep it up!

FYI this is an international site. Please stop posting where you are working. Protect your clients. Honestly, if there are people in your area that disagree with this kind of work you could have just given them a direct place to target. There are a lot of crazies on this site.

So to protect, and not break the rules of "no soliciting" on this site, I am going to delete your posts that contain addresses.

~WtCoM MoD LiTtLe MiSs~

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/17/2015

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Then stop misrepresenting yourself. It doesn't make people inclined to 'help' you in any way at all.

I'm sorry, but your posts are off to me. You claim to be a social worker, yet you claim only to be a student. You claim to be currently working with GLBT folks, yet you claim to have no experience.

Not a confidence garnering moment there.

Love - posted on 03/17/2015

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Shawn. I am a current social work student, due to graduate in May. First this is being used for reseach inorder to get the community opinion on ways we can build system bridges for this population. As a socail worker we utilze all community resources including parent blogs since this is one of the systems that are broken. I want parents opinion on ways they see fit for us as a whole to support all parties involved in rasing these kids.
Once i gather enough information i will put the information in a measuring tool to identify the best possible programs to develop to assistance to this population. Further more a lot of parents are unaware of the milestones this population if facing so these post can be used as support/information for those parents.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/17/2015

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You are a social worker that has absolutely no idea on how to counsel GLBT folks? I would suggest going back to school to narrow your focus.

I certainly wouldn't want to engage a counselor that is going online to anonymous forums to gather information on how to present their assistance to their clients.

Love - posted on 03/17/2015

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Thanks parents. I really appreciate your imput. yes this are great points. so my next question as a a social worker how do I help parents understand that being gay is no a ugly word. Its not a reason to disconnect from your child. I feel like love is the correct answer but these kids are not getting that at home and they are turning to the streets for love and acceptance. I want to bring awareness to what is going on. This is a big issue for these youth.
The term one of my students used was dating. They are calling sexual favors for cash "dating". This is putting these kids at higher risk for contracting HIV, death and other STI's.
When i ask them what makes them go in this direction. The response i get is survival. They tell me things are so bad at home with them being Gay, that they turn to the streets for support. How do I help parents understand the importance of acceptance, love and support. Any ideas?

Raye - posted on 03/12/2015

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The four milestones you posted are probably accurate, but what gets them past each of those milestones? They need love and acceptance from their family and from their peers. They need to know that they aren't the only ones going through that, and they don't have a choice in their sexual preference or gender identity. They are not freaks, they are not less than the mainstream. These issues have been around for thousands of years, and it's horrible that acceptance is taking so long to happen.

You make them feel like they belong by showing them love and not treating them as anything less than any other human being. All kids need self-esteem, confidence, etc. and LGBTQ kids need a little extra help to get there. It shouldn't be any different than a child that has a stutter or something like that where they may get picked on by other kids, but adults should help them overcome their shyness and build them up. The problem with LGBTQ is the adults are usually the major culprits in making the child feel bad. It's just wrong... so wrong.

Love - posted on 03/11/2015

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thanks ladies. I understand what you are saying but from a professional standpoint i see this particular population dealing with milestones that the heterosexual youth are dealing with plus the development issues that the LGBTQ face because of their sexual preference. i'm going to post four milestones that i got from an article that i want to use in my support group i have for this population at 818 pollard blvd atlanta GA every thursday from 4-6 on the first floor. These milestones identify feelings the youth may be experiencing as they are coming out. Tell me do anyone feel like these milestones are good topics to focus on during the support groups:Milestones we will work to Overcome to assist with development
1. Feeling different: I'm not like other girl/boys. Many LGBT people say they’ve felt different from young. How many of you all can relate to that feeling? As kids explore gender roles (9-12), this feeling may intensify. How many ladies have been embarrassed by their technology interest or interest in their masculine desires? Or guys, embarassessed by not liking sports? As gender roles are becoming more flexible these stereotypes are lessen. What can we to embraces and except being different? What does being different to you? Is different a bad word?
2. Identity Confusion: During early adolescence, as the body matures kids become aware of their sexual feelings. Friendships become more intimate, and same –sex attractions may cause confusion or shame. When dating begins, teens may question their sexual orientation for the first time. This is nothing to be ashamed of. Once exploration takes place and one decides that they are attracted to the same sex, they may they identify them selves as LGBTQ. This is perfectly normal part of adolescence healthy development. The next step is Identity resolution.
3. Identity resolution: I know who I am. Gradually, a person moves beyond questioning toward acceptance of their sexual orientation. Information, support, and role models help facilitate the process. A transitional period of bisexual identity is common. Some people are relieved to finally to put label on their feelings. This is the expectance.
4. Identity Integration: I want to share my life. Eventually, a person wants to share his or her identity and pursue healthy relationships. But each person has his own way, with differences in the degree and timing of disclosure- often with good reason, as cultural, religious, family and regional pressures may be harmful.

Jill - posted on 02/26/2015

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You can't. You can only help them have rock solid self-esteem and self confidence. This group is so often judged as incomplete or broken, which is so sad. If they have weak self-esteem and self-confidence, then it only magnifies the problem in others' eyes. I have found that the only way for this demographic to really fit in is for them to radiate confidence and self-esteem to the people around them. Then people stop judging them as incomplete or broken.

Since this element is missing from so many people's lives, it can really level the playing field so to speak. This group must develop an incredibly strong internal sense of purpose because it will be decades if not centuries before LGBTQ's are accepted as equals. Just look at how long it has taken women to pull this off and we are STILL working on it. My great aunt was a suffragist in the 40's and she would be rolling over in her grave to see how little we have accomplished in the last 70 years.

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