How do you reward your children for good behavior?

Heather - posted on 11/18/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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I know I have my own ways of doing this, but thought it might be nice if folks shared some ways they reward or praise their children for good behavior. Please share yours, and remember opinions are like earlobes, almost everyone has a couple and some are more decrative than others.

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Christa - posted on 11/20/2009

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Don't use food or candy as a reward. I'm going to use praise, gold stars on a chart for T.V time, hugs and outings. If you use food, the child will grow up turning to food for comfort when hard times hit or stressful days.

Debbie - posted on 03/01/2013

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We use a little system that is quite remarkable for getting children to give happy, first time obedience. It is called the happy face token system. I was a struggling mom trying to use the "golden rule" at my house. I actually thought if I made the bed for my children they would come and say, 'thanks mom, what can I do for you?' Silly me! This system does exactly that and it motivates children to find ways to serve family members, learn difficult things, internalize moral values; the list goes on! The best part about it is that it seems to have a built-in consistency factor that makes me able to mean what I say. Within 2 weeks of beginning this program, I told the children (3 under 9), whoever will empty their room garbage cans, may have 1 token. They all jumped up and started running to do the errand. Soon, my 5 year-old son came into my room with tears in his eyes. I asked him what the matter was. He said, " I don't have a garbage to empty....The girls' took mine!" I smiled and said, "I have two garbage cans you may empty." He hugged my knees and with eyes wide as saucers said, "Oh, thank-you Mommy! I'll always empty your garbage!" It was downhill from there. I went from feeling like a picked-on, taken-for-granted mom, to "you're the best mommy in the whole world! I found this happy face token system not just to be a good idea, but a family program that gave me the abiltiy to administer and bless my family. To this day the children talk about how fun the happy faces were.

Lyndsay - posted on 11/21/2009

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First off I want to props you for this thread, usually it's about discipline or punishment! Anywho, for my son we have a sticker chart. There are various categories of good behaviours, such as putting away all his toys or using his manners. There is also one for listening, since that is a problem area! At the end of each day we sit together and go through all the good things he's done to get a sticker, and put them on the chart. Then once a month we count up his stickers and buy him a new toy. What he gets depends on how many stickers he's gotten. For example we just went the other day, and he had 80 stickers so I bought him a shake-and-go car from the movie Cars (which he LOVES). I bring him to the store to pick it out and make him hold his sticker chart the whole way, so he knows why he is getting a new toy.

Michelle - posted on 11/23/2009

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I'm trying to instill in my tots mind that she is expected to behave and the reward may not always be material (a problem that my mother now has with my daughter because she "buys" her new things every time my daughter would just behave). My daughter would say things after "listening" to my mother "Now Grandma is going to buy me something". I usually just tell my daughter how proud I am of her and she is happy that mommy is proud. She says things to me like "I want to make mommy proud" ...
Great topic ... Kudos =)

Pam - posted on 11/20/2009

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Stickers and a "chore chart" prominently posted on the refrigerator helped with my 2 kids. The chart included things to do and things NOT to do. Keep a copy of the chart and stickers with you (purse, car, diaper bag) so you can provide immediate positive reinforcement (especially important with ADHD kids). Reference the chart or verbally praise (or "next time..." and the positive behavior you want) at another part of the day for things you're working hard to do.

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Christa - posted on 03/25/2014

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So now they are 5 years oldand I want to tell you the truth . I have been a bad mom and used food as a reward. Sometimes its just hard and I forget to do the right thing. I need to stop being lazy. I will post how I do. Wish me luck.

Heather - posted on 11/23/2009

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Quoting Lyndsay:

First off I want to props you for this thread, usually it's about discipline or punishment!



 



Hey Lyndsay - Thanks!  Although, honestly, I don't think I'm brave enough to ask about discipline methods - I can envision the corporal punishment folks and the time out folks bashing virtual heads even as I type this.  It's not a pretty sight.



Abbie - posted on 11/21/2009

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If our son is good, we keep a stash of $.78 cars/trucks that is sold at Wal mart,they are like match box cars but an off brand. Tate loves them, we give him them in stead of food as a reward. Plus they last so much longer!! :)

Rebecca - posted on 11/21/2009

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i usually give my little girl something she likes eg grapes or chocs or new book or toy

Shelly - posted on 11/20/2009

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Depending on what they have done, they either get to rent movies or go out to eat at their favorite restaraunt

Dana - posted on 11/20/2009

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I agree with Laura, too.

I was diagnosed with cancer last year (today is the anniversary of my final chemo) the day before our son's 2nd birthday and when our daughter was 10 weeks old.

Not a day goes by that I don't tell them that I love them and how fantastic they are (even when they're being stinkers). My wish has been to be able to be the one to rear them and to be alive long enough for them to have their own memories of me.

We also verbally acknowledge when our kids have been especially well-behaved or used good manners.

Isobel - posted on 11/20/2009

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I tell them they are awesome, thank them for being so wonderful, then give them a hug and a kiss.

Dana - posted on 11/20/2009

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We have a 3 year-old that is just now understanding the concept of being rewarded for good behavior. Sometimes, it's a trip to the park, a trip to Target or Walmart to get a matchbox car or $3 book, a special afternoon at a movie, being able to get a special movie from Blockbuster.

The most important thing we can give our kids is time with them. So, I try to reward them by having a special date with them. Just something that they get to do. I can be really inexpensive, but it creates memories and bonding time.

Good luck figuring it out.

Heather - posted on 11/19/2009

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My children are older and sometimes I use the option to opt out. Sometimes as kids get older they don't always want to do "family" stuff and sometimes we expect them to always come along because they always have. I allow my kids the freedom to opt out on certain things if they have proven themselves worthy of the trust and the opportunity.

Brandi - posted on 11/19/2009

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Try letting them pick their favorite meal. My daughter also loves getting certificates. Go online and you can pick the one you want and print it out. She does not ask for stuff every time we go to the store so sometimes we just get her a small gift, she loves that. I agree everyone will have their own way of doing this, but it is interesting to see some of the answers.

Gina - posted on 11/19/2009

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My 3 Girls Behavor
Thay were good Thay got Prase,maybe a reword,If not ,thay were dissaplinted

Gina - posted on 11/19/2009

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Quoting Heather:

How do you reward your children for good behavior?

I know I have my own ways of doing this, but thought it might be nice if folks shared some ways they reward or praise their children for good behavior. Please share yours, and remember opinions are like earlobes, almost everyone has a couple and some are more decrative than others.


 

[deleted account]

My daughter is young so I use an excited voice and happy face along with plenty of cuddles for reward for good behaviour. Another reward system I have seen used (and plan to use later) is the sticker system - awarding stickers for good behaviour (eg no missed pottys) to get a treat at an achieved goal. Could be a small toy or a trip out whatever it is that will motivate them.

Suzan - posted on 11/19/2009

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I take my kids to their favourite family resturant as a treat for good behaviour

Ogunade - Okuneye - posted on 11/19/2009

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This depend on what exactly he does. Let say he was asked not to do a particular thing and he obeyed.I'll give a pat on his back and commend him. then maybe he performed execellently in his kindergatin class. then I'll take him out for dinner in any eatry or buy something tangible for him. ok.

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