How do you teach girls loyalty and independence?

Momma - posted on 03/11/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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How do we teach our girls the importance of loyalty without the "bandwagon effect"? How doe we prevent an "either or" message? Young girls need to understand the importance of supporting each other rather than back-stabbing, but yet have a healthy sense of competition that can inspire fellow girls to reach their potential, so they can be that generation to shatter the "glass ceiling" yet, young girls seem to use loyalty as a way to bully other girls, or as a crutch to hide behind an abusive boyfriend or independence to excuse back-stabbing catty behavior. What is the best way to teach girls the importance of having both without contradition?

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Trisha - posted on 03/12/2015

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I think ultimately, the concept of loyalty and independence, and finding a good mix between the two is something one learns from experience.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/12/2015

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Chana - posted on 03/12/2015

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I agree with Trisha about Seb Sebas don't listen to anything that person wrote. I am not sure you can teach loyalty and independence but you can teach morals and self worth. If you have those you can be independent and loyal. Although I think independence is a wonderful thing for girls sometimes it is also very hard. Speaking from experience I was(and still am) a very independent woman and when I met my husband and we became serious it was very difficult for me to let go of some of my independence and let him take care of me. As far as loyalty personally I think it is overrated. I have always loyal to my employers and it got me no where, I have always been loyal to my girl friends only to have them stab me in the back so not sure it is a necessity in life. Now I have always been loyal to my husband and he in return.

Raye - posted on 03/12/2015

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Seb is definitely a weirdo. Don't listen to them.

I'm not sure that "loyalty" is really the best attribute to focus on. Honor and respect for oneself and for others might be better traits to instill in a girl and those would lead to loyalty in their close relationships and hopefully help them choose healthy relationships.

Trisha - posted on 03/12/2015

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Seb Sebas, you sound like a pedophile.

Moving on...

Momma Morgan, I have to be honest. I am not someone who has ever had a lot of friends. In high-school I was a bit of a loner. I had lots of acquaintances, but never any friends. I felt loyalty to others, but quickly found out that it wasn't worth the heartache, as no one ever felt loyalty to me. I quickly moved onto boys. I have only been in one situation where I would call it abusive (mentally, verbally), but being in that relationship taught me strength. It taught me my worth.
I don't really see the value in being loyal to girlfriends. I have ALWAYS been loyal to my mates/partners though. Loyalty, honestly and transparency has always been my goal, but I don't think that was ever 'taught' to me.

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