How does a stay at home mom deal with husband is a truck driver

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Dj - posted on 10/22/2009

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WOW I read this and it hit home. My husband is a truck driver too. He started trucking school when I was about 7 months pregnant with our 2nd child. It was hard then, and it's hard now but work is work and it has to be done. It gets lonely often but I'm lucky enough to have my family just down the street. Our oldest child is now 5 and she asks where daddy is frequently, so I got her a map of the US and its on the wall in her room. She's learning her states already! I do side jobs where I can take my youngest child with me (she is nearly 2 now) and I decided to take a few online college classes while I have the chance. When both my kids are in school, I don't want to be sitting at home alone all day, so I'm gonna try to go to college so I can get a job that I'll enjoy when that happens. When my husband gets to come home, it totally throws off our routine, but it's not like I'd rather him not come home at all, so I deal with it. We try to talk every day (by cell phone) and let each other know about anything not routine, like sick kids, appointments, how our oldest is doing in school, what new things our youngest learned to do recently, new habits, phrases or behaviors, stuff like that, so he feels connected to us still. He tells me where he is at the moment, and where he is headed after that, any problems he has had (with himself or the truck), how the weather is where he is at, and any random questions our 5 year old asks him. That way, we feel connected to him too. If you have any other questions about being a stay at home mom and trucker wife, just ask, I'll do the best I can to answer!

Maria - posted on 10/23/2009

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my hubby is a trucker he changed his schedule so that he is gone for 5 days and home for 3 which works out great for us. Hes not away too too long and I ushally deal by having other family close by.

Neicy - posted on 10/22/2009

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not easy im sure. get a good phone with a good plan and many minutes. if u stay in contact with one another often, it will make it easier. u have to have trust though. is it that u have trust issues or just the fact that he is on the road? invest in a camcorder and make some videos for him to view. don't b afraid to be sexy in the videos, nothing over the top, just a reminder that ur @ home and can't wait 4 his return. webcam, so u can talk and c each other while he's gone. also when he comes home make some handmade cards, and little gifts. hide them in the truck and when hes on the road tell him to look in a place so he can find ur gifts, u ahve left 4 him. let him find one a day. anything 2 let him know ur thinking of him 2. i'm sure its hard 4 him 2. just keep ur head up, and love each other unconditionally. get invovled with some groups or start ur own. truckers wives or something. meet once a week, and go bowling or have dinners or functions, be crreative. u have 2 have a life 2. gl, and let me know what u think

[deleted account]

ME!!! My husband started over the road driving when my baby was 10 days old, and I had a 2 year old!! Tough work, but managable. It is hard now when he is home for too long because we parent way different. He just isn't used to the kids now that he is usually gone.

Are you having particular troubles I could help with?? My 2 year old has gone through MANY weird things having him gone. Maybe we can help each other!

Jodi - posted on 10/29/2009

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i keep telling myself that it will get better in time and hoping in the near future he will get a local job my husband in an otr truck driver it has been very hard on our 8 year old and now are 3 year old is always wanting to know where is daddy sometimes my 8 year old crys in bed wanting to know why dad has to be gone i tell him why but he wanys his dad home every night my husband has been looking for a local job but isnt having any luck i myself and trying to find a job so he can be home more often the bills always seem to be pilling up

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Feona - posted on 08/11/2012

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Hello my name is Feona I have Known my husband for going on 30 years I have been married to him for 14 years he has been truckin for 20 we have 3 children. I am 46 years old and he is 42 I am at my wits end I don't know what to do anymore with him I do know sometimes I want to leave him because I'm tired of him being gone and being alone. I can be by myself I'm just tired of worry about him sometimes. I need a big change in my life. My husband works hard but maybe twice a month he does not make a paycheck it makes me very angry. I can't seem to get caught up with anything because his checks never are regular and consistant. I need to know what to do I do love him very much but I could do it by myself if I had to

Melissa - posted on 10/28/2009

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My husband is an LTL trucker, home every single night. goes to work at 7 AM and can be out from any time from about 5 pm til about 11 p.m. We have a 2 year old & a 3 month old, and I work as well. Its hard, especially not seeing him alot because we both work. My suggestion is to make the most of the time you guys DO have together. Is your husband an owner/operator or does he work for someone? My husband worked for an OTR company when we first got together and it was hard, and he went local (not leaving our state) when I got pregnant. See if your husband can go for a LTL job, and make sure you call him and let the kiddos talk to him all the time, even if he has to stay OTR. I remember when we had our oldest he was always saying how he wouldnt even know who he was most of the time becuase he didnt see him, now he is our older son's best friend, and he gets super excited when "DAD DAD" comes home after a long day at work and still puts up a "im not tired" front and plays with him. Hopefully you can make the best of everything, and good luck with everything!

Jodi - posted on 10/28/2009

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Quoting HAZEL WANGUI:

Hi Jodi,

I know its hard for a stay mom to deal with a truck driver husband especially its lonely but I would advise you to keep in touch with him a lot by calling him or texting him now and then and involving the kids alot by telling them where daddy is or letting them talk to him on the phone. Stay busy also by looking after the kids and time flies by so fast until the next time when your husband is home. All the best Jodi.


 

HAZEL WANGUI - posted on 10/26/2009

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Hi Jodi,

I know its hard for a stay mom to deal with a truck driver husband especially its lonely but I would advise you to keep in touch with him a lot by calling him or texting him now and then and involving the kids alot by telling them where daddy is or letting them talk to him on the phone. Stay busy also by looking after the kids and time flies by so fast until the next time when your husband is home. All the best Jodi.

Jodi - posted on 10/23/2009

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i know what you say i try to keep my husband involved as much as i can but it is really hard when my 8 year old son cries wondering why his dad isnt home and wondering if he is the reason his dad isnt home of course i tell him the reasons why he just wants his dad to be home now our 3 year old wants dad home too. I know the benifits of me staying home to be with the kids and my husband trucking so i can do that. be always wondering the benifits of husband trucking and the kids not seeing their father i don't want my kids growing up wondering why their father wasn't there for special events that mean alot to the kids. This is very hard for me to see my kids wonder why

Danette - posted on 10/22/2009

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I have 3 children, and my husband has been a truck driver for 22 years... I does get easier... Take lots of pictures, so he doesn't miss a single moment... Try and include

him on decisions as well...

Jessica - posted on 10/22/2009

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Plan rituals that the kids can always count on when dad is home, gives them security. Include the absent dad in conversations to keep them emotionally connected. Simple things like answering their deep thought questions with " wonder what dad would say, what would dad do?' Always build up dad, focus on his best qualities, he's not there to defend himself and the last thing he needs is to come home to kids who disrespect him cause they heard mom say " he's so clueless".
Oh, and treat yourself to ladies nights or groups, no matter how amazing of a stay home mom you are, you are more than just a mom.... you are a captivating woman, a girlfriend, a wife, a student and a teacher. Probably a lot more than that. You're a better mom and wife when you've had time or indulgences that remind you of how much more you are.

Barbara McMinn - posted on 10/22/2009

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If your kidsare older go withhim .my husband and I went all over .all 48 states and canada & Mexico.

Webbfam_moejoe - posted on 10/22/2009

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Hi! My husband is sort of a truck driver...he drives trucks for convoys overseas anyway, lol. Its a little different but my husband is gone for some time as many women across many career fields can relate. It's hard, especially when you have little ones. My husband and I make an effort to have 'date nights' on the computer with a webcam as often as we can, and I talk to my son daily about my husband. We have picture books for him and my husband tries to talk to my son on the phone as often as possible. It's tough when your husband is in a career that keeps you apart, but it will make you so much more independent! And invest in a computer with a laptop for you guys...:0)

Debbie - posted on 10/22/2009

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I agree! I find it easier when he is gone, then when he is here. I have a way of doing things and parenting then he comes home and wammm out of sink! but we are dealing with it.

Debbie - posted on 10/22/2009

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my husband is a truck driver and i am a stay at home mom with 2 boys. I learned to be both mom and dad. I do everything myself, dr appts, school events. we use the camera and video recorder. He was a truck driver when we met so I knew what I was getting into. Its not easy. sometimes I think that we have two different lives and wish that he was doing more with us, but I am able to stay at home. I have been doing this for 9 years hopefully for many more years. I hope this helps. good luck

[deleted account]

My husband fishes ....ALOT! Find friends to do stuff with, family, church functions, take kids to park, museum, anything to get outta the house!

Line - posted on 10/22/2009

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My husband is not a truck driver, but is gone to work from 6am-10pm about. He sees his daughter when he gats up for about 30 min then has to fix his lunch and leave. When he gets home, she is in bed so he goes and gives her her kiss goodnight and he's off to bed. I found it hard at first but got used to it. I got to create a routine and a way of perenting that works for me and we don't get to bump heads on how to raise our child. Just get as much rest as you can, plan a daylie routine that works for you. But the most important thing is when he is available, spend time as a family. Good luck.

Cleo - posted on 10/22/2009

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my husband is in the navy on sea duty. meaning some years he is out to sea more than he is home. it is a hard life when he is gone. but i feel i am a strong woman and even stronger for amking it through the deployments. we look at the benefits we get and the life we have and being able to travel. for us it is worth it. but it is not a life for a "needy" wife and one who is not strong at heart. if you ever want to talk look me up.

Carla - posted on 10/22/2009

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My husband is a truck driver but only do local loads and is home everynight so it is great...i can just imagine what you are going through if he is gone for long periods of time...the only thing i can suggest is keep in contact with him everyday and stay involved with him while he is on the road...every now and then my husband has to work overnight and we usually talk until its time for me to go to bed...the best advice i can give is to stay active during the day and get out of the house and do things so you dont feel so lonely....i'm not sure if you have kids or not but maybe you can ride with him sometimes...its very fun and very relaxing...hope this helps in some way...

Angela - posted on 10/22/2009

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no t easy but its work you just have to be fexible get into rountine with your family and enjoy life and when he comes home try to keep rountine and also just go with the flow have some family time and be all together and have some fun things to do and catch up but keep to a little of the rountine so the kids are use to it some times it good to keep up with it but level it out for fun times and work

Nikki - posted on 10/22/2009

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whats that saying....about separation making the heart grow fonder?.....good thing for cell phones with video and cameras and the internet...hahaha

Barbara - posted on 10/22/2009

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Hi Jodi
I didn't have a truck driver husband but a work aholic who was always gone long hours
I found I had to create a life for myself and kids so we would seek out mother and child clubs, plan activities on my own and DO THEM. It got easier as I got used to it and you would be surprised how many other lonely moms are out there. If they do not have something in your area START ONE at the library or in each others homes. It can be a lot of fun
Gramma Barb

Stacy - posted on 10/22/2009

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When my husband was driving, I didn't see him for 3 months at a time. It was hard, and it really test your relationship, and love. It has been said this to shal pass. If you can make it threw this you can make it threw anything. Just remember he is doing it for you. Be strong and believe in your love for eachother. My husband told me that this will make us or break us. It made us many different things, stronger for sure. Hang in there.

Nikki - posted on 10/22/2009

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depends on how long hes gone for....I kinda like it when mine's gone during the week

Carmel - posted on 10/22/2009

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It can be hard and can be lonely, especially after a tough day with the kids and he is gone. I found when he came home after a few days away my little one had to get used to him again, she nearly forgot who he was, and as Kory said there are different ways of parenting and he naturally will want to spoil them while u try keep everything as normal as best u can, but stick with it u will be glad u did. All I can say is try and not let it get u down, it prob wont be forever and remember he is missing ye just as much as u are him.

Debora - posted on 10/22/2009

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MY FAMILY WAS RAISED BY TRUCKER DAD AND STAY AT HOME MOM WE HAD FOUR OF US FROM 9,7,4 ,1 YRS OLD SHE JUST GOT OUT THE UNITED STATES MAP POSTED IT ON WALL MARKED IT WITH A PIN EVERYDAY SO WE COULD LEARN WHERE HE WAS EVERYDAY .WHEN HE WAS HOME HE LET US HELP HIM WASH THE TRUCK AND READ TO US OR PLAYED GAMES LIKE MOST STAY AT HOME DADS DID .THEN WHEN MY OLDER BROTHER GOT MARRIED IT TOOK A WHILE FOR MY SISTER IN LAW TO GET USED TO BUT WHEN SHE HAD JUST HAD THE BABY SHE STAYED WITH US UNTIL HER HUSBAND GOT HOME .IT MAY TAKE TIME BUT YOU WELL ADJUST .

Amber - posted on 10/22/2009

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My dad was a truck driver while we were growin up! Our step mom worked off and on! I guess its hard but it works out! Good luck

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