How does it feel to marry an older guy, and what should i expect?
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Lucy - posted on 06/22/2011
My husband is 14 years older than I am, but I can't really say the age difference has made much difference to our relationship. Perhaps the only thing that frustrates me is that he doesn't have the "get up and go" that I do, but to be honest I think that's more his personality than his age - he's just one of these guys who will happily veg in front of a computer game until he's dragged away from it!
To be honest, as I also have friends of many different ages, in my opinion, once you are an adult, your age is pretty much irrelevant unless you are at seriously different stages in life (like one considering retirement while one wants to start a family).
Candi - posted on 06/16/2011
Every person is different. My uncle was 18 yrs older than his wife and they were made for each other. my brother was 11 years older than his ex-wife...notice the "ex" part? I think a lot of it may depend on the age you get married. If you are thinking marriage, then you should already know the answer to this question. How has the relationship been so far? How does he treat you? Do you enjoy the same things? Does he get tired or bored way before you? Just little things. If your relationship is in a rut due to age differences, then getting married isn't going to change anything. He won't all of a sudden have more energy or treat you better or be any closer to your age. Good Luck on it!
Tamara - posted on 06/17/2011
The same as if its some one your age. There are no real answers every person is different.
My husband is 11 years older then me, he is great. Like Sara we mesh well have the same goals and had a great friendship before the marriage.
I think if both people are stable and get along and have good communication its the foundation for a good marriage.
Here's what I didn't expect when I married an older man...
He didn't have the energy I had. Party time would end sooner, he's used to being in bed sooner than I was.
His ex-wife totally hated me...for being younger than her.
He drank...and I didn't. He wore dentures...I didn't. It is very disturbing for your husband to stagger up to you at a pool table in a bar and hand you his TEETH so he doesn't lose them.
He had medical issues I had never seen before. The first time he grabbed his chest in the middle of the night I had no CLUE what was wrong, or what to do about it.
Heart medication can affect a man's bedtime performance.
I never had to arrange a funeral before...I had never been executive of estate before. I never thought that dispersing his possessions to his children would be a chore put on MY shoulders.
On the positive side....
He was VERY responsible with money. My utilities were NEVER interrupted because we didn't have enough money. I held the titles to the cars he bought me...he had lived enough to understand that finance charges were money wasted.
Our home was paid for...that provided a sense of security I never had before.
He never cheated on me. According to him, he had already been there, done that...and had no desire to spin that web again. I was lucky.
Those are just some of the things that I have experienced when I was married to an older man....I tried to give you both the good and the bad.
Basically, It was exactly the same as being with someone my own age...but there were a few medical issues that did show up that reminded me of his age.
Could you give more details? Are you talking 10 years older or more like 30?
My husband is 9 years older and it's great. But our personalities and goals in life mesh really well. I'm sure the state of the relationship has much more to do with those things than age.
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