How far does a father have to go to get supervised visits?

Kelsey - posted on 09/20/2016 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My BD is 20 and my son is 3.
What would he have to do so he would have supervised visits?
He posts a lot of him drinking (which is underage), and also him cracking jokes that are inappropriate about women and different stuff like that.

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Dove - posted on 09/20/2016

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if you have solid evidence that he is drinking and endangering the child (not just that he drinks, but that he has done provable things in the past to endanger his child while drinking) that might be cause for supervised visitations, but you would have to have very solid evidence and a good lawyer.

In order to pursue supervised visitations you have to have proof that he is actually endangering the child... being of questionable character means very little in court.

To give you a personal example... I attempted to have my ex have supervised visitations w/ our two young daughters because of his abuse of me. He actually admitted in court to the judge that he had raped me, but because I had no evidence of him doing anything to the KIDS... he got unsupervised visitations w/ them immediately.

Michelle - posted on 09/20/2016

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Like the others have said, unless he is a danger to the child then he won't get supervised visits.

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Michelle - posted on 09/21/2016

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My ex husband is an alcoholic but isn't a danger to the children. He does provide for them when he has them so just drinking isn't enough to stop him having a relationship with his child.
My ex husband has lost his license through drink driving and he knows that if I see (or get told he has been) him driving around I will take the children away from him. So far he hasn't driven in 3.5 years! He still drinks all the time though.

Kelsey - posted on 09/21/2016

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Yes, I understand where you are coming from. Thank you for replying. I just know he isn't and wouldn't be a fit father. But of course, I know him and no one else does. But thank you.

Dove - posted on 09/21/2016

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It's not just you. Wanting to protect your child from negative influences is completely normal... You had that choice before you had a baby w/ this man to NOT have a baby w/ him. Now the two of you are equally entitled to be w/ that child unless a court says otherwise. It's just the facts of real life... trust me. I was where you are now quite a few years ago. Life is hard, but our choices have consequences and the consequence of procreating w/ a less than ideal man is that we have to now share our children w/ that man for the rest of their lives.

Kelsey - posted on 09/21/2016

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Maybe it is just me but I think that is crazy. No one will have proof that he is drinking around my son. But everyone knows he does drink. I don't know maybe its just me.

Dove - posted on 09/21/2016

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Legally you have will have to or risk losing all custody rights to him. Unless you can PROVE the father is a danger to his son... he has just as much of a right to be involved as you do. He IS the father and, more importantly, your son has a right to an equal relationship w/ both of his parents. That's just what happens when you procreate w/ someone.

Kelsey - posted on 09/21/2016

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Oh wow. That just scares me, knowing that he could have my son all to his own. And me not knowing what is going on or how everything is going. I just don't think I could do it.

Jodi - posted on 09/20/2016

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None of that makes him an unfit father. Unless you have evidence that he is drinking excessively around the child, or a clear danger to the child, then he is entitled to have access to his child.

Ev - posted on 09/20/2016

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Those things are not enough to get him supervised visits at all. You posted another post basically asking the same thing. I told you what you needed to do to get that taken care of.

You have to prove he is unfit!

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